Stillness and falseness.

So today was the 3rd of August, wasn't it?

Yes, so it just another day, and I did everything I do, almost every other day.

I was breathing, I ate, and I felt fat.
I walked out on an argument, I won one, and I lost all the rest.
It was just another day, but everything felt different,
There was stillness everywhere, before I walked into the Gym..
Into the burst of adrenaline, familiar faces, and my trainer staring right at me,
He eyes read "Shoulders? Chest? Bi and tri? Back or Legs? What is it today son?"
But I motioned to him, with my goggles, that I'd swim this one out.

Although there were screams, and shouts, of everyone I've broken cells with, running that extra mile, figuratively, I heard nothing.

I changed into my swimming shorts whilst greeting those familiar faces again, in the changing room,
Talking of things unheard by me.

I was still engulfed in this silence I was trying to figure out.

I was scared as I shelter an ear problem, I was worried.
But I could listen to each and every word, I just couldn't hear it...

With these thoughts brushed off, I walked out into the open,
Next to the swimming pool, with the humid air that blew by, over the still water.

Yes, the swimming pool was still, there was no one, but soon that changed.

I jumped in, and I swam around for a while, then I heard it,
What this silence was all about, I heard my heart pounding,
My paused, and my limbs froze, I was in the middle of the pool, at the deep end and I saw the water pound,
And I could feel my pulse deep in my brain, more and more as I tried to pin point where it came from,

I closed my eyes and I tried to breathe, inside the water, yes, I tried breathing.
I was probably choking by now but my mind and my heart was in my heartbeat,
I kept trying to feel it, with my arms stretched out, trying to reach for something,
That could take me where I want to be,
And then I felt it fade, my eyes shot open,
This was my heartbeat, I had found it, and it was fading, slowing down.
It was inside me, and so was the water right now,
And this chlorinated water was winning, as I felt, heard and even saw my heartbeat fade,
With everything inside me burning, there was no more stillness,
There was no more confusion.
Everything started moving again, I saw people jump into the pool, I felt waves from their hands fogging my goggles,
And I felt someone hand pulling me outside,
I remember vomiting out the water, and breathing again, the air this time,
And there it was again, the stillness,
No sign of life, just stillness.