All These Years..

After all these years, Now that i look at you,
All the times you held your head high smiling.
How the past was as beautiful as a multicoloured butterfly,
Now we're left on the verge of tears, miles apart.
I go through the same memory lane at every blink of an eye,
The tear that slips recalling every good memory.
Reaching out for you, screaming out loud,
I'm here looking for some sort of recognition.
Some of the things i regret, Mostly done out of frustration.
Pulling through all these storms and disasters.
Its like you don't see me when i'm looking at you,
Staring into your eyes, It makes mine tingle.
How have you created this defence mechanism?
Everytime i look at you, after all that we went through,
Together all the things we've talked about,
Its like you don't even feel what i'm feeling right now,
I've missed you so much through all these years,
Did you?After the pathetic phase where i tried to forget,
I've come to agree with the fact that i'm not forgetting you.
Its not a button i could just press and get it over with,
Nor is it like pulling the plug.
Its the little things i did that've made me this,
Listening to your favourite song,
Watching your favourite movie, over and over.
Sitting up all night, staring at the stars.
The one and only one shining would always be you.
You're just like a dream,One day i'll wake up and find it real.
After all these years breathing your name.
I think i need you.

Be Mine?

Like a butterfly in the crowd, You emerged leaving me dazed.
With you charm and smiles, You drew me towards you.
I've alot to do now, Alot to carve and present,
Presenting myself to you with a charming personality,
Trying to prove myself for all that i carry,
Leave you with no reason to complain.
Look at me, I'm an absolute gentleman.
I got you flowers and your favourite chocolate,
If i could just hold your hand and tell you you're beautiful.
Maybe you would want me too,
I'd never let you feel lonely,
Give you your space and praise your personality.
I'd shine my light upon you like a guardian angel.
You'll be my angel, I'll be your guardian angel.
My love for you increases by the second,
Heres a different way to depict my feeling,
I'll hold your hand tight, Take you on a walk,
Laughed at the pinch of ice cream on your nose.
Look there, right there...You see that star thats shining?
A part of this constellation, Its called love.
This shining star named after you, Dedicated to you.
Now i've swore to take care of you, forever.
This nights getting chilly, Here take my coat.
She smiled and hugged me tight,
I hugged you tighter not letting you go.
This is the moment that i've waited for.
Here i drop on my knees, take your hand.
Brush my lips to your fingers,
"The day saw you for the first time, Your smile,
It was like you left me with nothing to say,
Let me speechless. This is me, hoping you don't turn away now..
I swore i'll never leave your side, never let you cry.
I dedicate everything that belongs to me to you...
Will you be mine?
"

Fears.

Lets plan a trip together, Pack your bags we're flyin'.
Come with me, take my hand, Feel my heartbeat racing.
We'll just drive to anywhere and everywhere, unplanned.
The things we could do, break all the rules, lets get banned.

All you gotta do is nod and pack your bag.
We'll fly to a country with an unknown flag.
I'll make you feel special, You'll be my star,
I'd pick up stars from the sky, Make you mine, Never let you far.

Keep all the promises i make, Sit up with me, Lets talk about you,
Lets sit under the stars stare at em, I'd love to get to know you.
The look in your eyes, Why can't you be mine?
The way we've talked, Feels like i've known you for a long time.

I fear you'll disappear one day, Leaving me with these gazing stars,
Staring at me, Telling me how i was late in letting you heal my scars.
Juggling my fears, I've to let you know and never let you go.
This task at hand leaves me with " WHAT DO I DO? "

Not What I Want.

Can't we just sit and share a few smiles,
Talk about everything and anything.
She could just kill me as she said,
No love, Lifes not that simple.
No matter how you do it, no matter how right you are,
Its never what you want, No satisfaction...

Once again, here i am.
Wanting something else, Nothing's ever enough.
Nothing feels right, Nothing's ever enough.

Travelled to the top of your mountain,
Wrote your name up in the sky,
You're still not satisfied,
You never felt this.

Once again, here i am.
Wanting something else,
Nothing's ever enough.
Nothing feels right, Nothing's ever enough..

Now i shut my eyes,
Expecting nothing, i'm living through it all.
Regretting nothing, I have everything,
Its a mind game, Cuz you decide your satisfaction..
She comes running, love in her eyes she says,
"Be mine?"


Once again, here i am.
Wanting something else, Nothing's ever enough.
Nothing feels right, Nothing's ever enough..

Up In The Sky

This is probably the last time that i ever write about you again
,Taking up all this energy, from the last time i was here.
Up in the air, the first time i thought and wrote,
All i had for you, jotted it down in a piece of paper.
Now i'm here again, going back to you...
Without any expectations, Not even of a sight or a hello.
With my head held up i'll be reaching out to you,
Once maybe..This is the last time i'll write about you.

Up in the sky, just one more time.
Maybe just one last time..

I'm the kind who waits months,
Then days, To express myself i've failed at quite alot of times.
This recklessness that i find myself dealing with when i'm dealing with you.
You stole half the capacity of my thinking.
Filled with thoughts of you, I've lived smiling everyday.
Crying everyday.

Up in the sky, just one more time
.Maybe just one last time..

Without any regrets i'd let you know,
About the nights i stayed up, the struggled i've faced.
All of it, mostly just to spend time in your presence.
Maybe we'll be under the same roof again.
Maybe we'll share a few smiles again,

Up in the sky, just one more time.
Maybe just one last time...

Butterfly Effect.

Alright everyone, clear your mind.
I'm about to express something one of a kind.
A mix of emotions,
Stuck to these confusions.
Wasted my time on these illusions.
How you disappear, making me believe they're delusions.
Miles and miles, following your shadows, i travelled.
Tracing back my footsteps, The path unravelled.
Lost and lonely, filling spaces with the smiles.
I sit here, all day counting the number of tiles.
Looking at the end of the road, waiting for you.
Waiting for the clock to finally strike two.
Now that i'm waiting here a part of me,
Wants you to never come back, just don't want you to see,
What you've made me, How i've turned out to be.
A part of me that keeps dreaming, Its funny.
How you don't care and i'm here writing this, venting.
After all that i tried, all that i did, still breathing.
Still waiting for the day you'll be mine,
But i looked around, you're not in line.
Apart from the tiles, I've a book i'll one day,
Read to you and look at you, let you lead the way.
In this journey that we'll begin, One day.
Maybe just one day..Like i dream of hearing you say,
Those words, The cause a stir, a brain freeze. A beautiful effect.
Just like the butterfly effect, perfect.
Hold on people, its just the drea, now the smiles fade,
Affected by the darker half of this jade.
Proudly hanging on with a vision, blurry but hopeful.
But i never wanted to see the sun anymore, hurtful.
Your words, i'd frame them to remember the cause of this,
The fact that i've now given up, letting it all out of my system, Killing the bliss.

Maybe its a poor judged road.
I'm a silly boy mislead to the darker edges,
Thrown. Now free falling.
I'm smiling, You killed me.

Overwhelmed.

I've had a life, Wasn't a blackboard but I've wished it was,
My whole entire journey, I've searched a duster,
Just to erase all the bad elements, the disturbing memories.
They called me psychotic.
Through the oceans that I swam, I stopped.
This beauty struck to my eyes,
Hurting my conscience, feeling bad.
Falling down, right now I'm drowning.
This ocean of mixed emotions, leading me nowhere.
Just another place i'd wish to be right now,
Soft and sweet, the cold wind on this heat.
The beautiful colour of the flower,
The smell now fading away.
Just as the seasons change, everything changes.
Its a whole new aura. All around a new envronment to fit into.
A new beginning, history embedded to the back to my mind.
Just a rewind the list of things i'd re-do.
A ragged paper, almost torn.
Seen the bad, desperate for the feeling of belonging.
Belonging to a place, belonging to something...someone.
Overwhelmed, unable to manage, burdened with these responsibilities.
Life's not fair, some hardly care.
Freshness is always on the other side,
I made it point to go with the flow,
No complaining, not a look of burden.
I wake up with broken body, falling apart.
Make it through the day, Reviving is the word.
Almost back to myself by the end,
Another day, another snap of fingers.
The morning sun, Dead and gone.
I had this charm, too short of expiration date.
My world changes shape, It are the meds?
All written and done, don't we all need something to blame in the end?