Three Six Five.

Three Six Five.
Every day and every night.
Time to time, they all vary.
Like January and February.
All the memories will stay,
Like March, April and May.
May our June's and July we remember,
With the rush of August and September.
Chilling in the coldness of October,
And every hand we held, last November.
Through our winter clothes, do you remember,
Kissing under the mistletoe last december?


Forgive me for all my wrongs,
For all the times I brought you down.
Remember the times we cried,
Holding our hands, tears we dried.
Will our stories be told,
As our figures come nearer,
Will I be here tomorrow?
Will tomorrow be a better day?
I can feel most of you fade away,
Years have passed, and years come by.
We stand here, drifting apart,
It all comes down, like it always does,
Making us remember just yesterday,
When we changed our ways,
We walked away with hate in our heart,
Brewing love inside,
We call them love,
Looking away with disgust.
Find me today, for my yesterday.
Take my hand, feel me forgive you too.
No regrets, tomorrow is a better day.

Three Six Five.
Every day and every night.
Time to time, they all vary.
Like January and February.
All the memories will stay,
Like March, April and May.
May our June's and July we remember,
With the rush of August and September.
Chilling in the coldness of October,
And every hand we held, last November.
Through our winter clothes, do you remember,
Kissing under the mistletoe last december?

I'm 10.

They say I'm too innocent for this,
All this shouting will hurt my cute,
When you hold me, lying on your hand,
I'm scared I'll be forever 10,
When I'm afraid of losing you,
They say I'm only a kid,
But I'm scared of these dark clouds,
I'm feeling something none of they do,
Without all of you, I'm just 10.
When you're here, you make me loved.
You give me all that I ever need.
When I bring your hands together,
You brush my hair, and smile at me,
Making me believe its not simple.
I see 1's and 2's in all my pages,
And 2 with 1 is 3, just like them and me.
But I'm so scared they'll change me,
I scribble everywhere there remain 2.
I tear them, again and again,
Slip em into the garbage,
Until you find them,
You and Mum, you hold me and cry,
And I see you hold her hand,
I smile, my world comes together.

Crying a nightmare.

I've stabbed you I know,
Do you feel what I feel?
Everytime you're not here,
When you throw me away,
In their laughs,
When you follow the flaws in me.
Point me down when they arrive.
And when I'm sane, I dream of you,
Smiling at me, its a dream.

I feel flawless when you're with me,
When the moon shines, perfectly.
And the wind tickles your curls.
I notice everything but the coldness in you,
In this chilly winter night,
You stab me again, holding me until you cry,
Leave the thread to my misery,
And for everytime you've burned me down,
You look at me and cry,
It took everything in me and more,
To walk away, that day when you cried.
Crying at me, living a nightmare.

I stand here.

You held me in the walls,
Finding every fear in me,
You bring the strangers here,
And I cry and fight with everyone of you.
All of you who read this on these walls,
I've been here and bled,
You were here too but fled.

And someday in the dark,
When you see me shine,
Flying in the wind,
Running against the waves.
Working my way through the fire.
Paving my way on the sky, like painting my tomorrow.
Today I stand here, a face of yesterday.
Fearless, falling through the skies.
I stand on my feet, dropping at your feet.
When you walk my way,
And here I stand, unable to look in your eyes.

I remember every word you said,
The promises you made, you've kept.
The dreams you promise, I'm living them.
And the knifes I put on your back,
All the times I cried on your lap.
For every time I've tortured your soul.
With my words that hurt and the gestures of my past.
They haunt me today, walk to me.
I feel this memory fleeting.
Look me in the eye..
I'm standing here.

You say love.

I bring your favourite flower,
Pulled right from this earth.
I wear your favourite shirt,
I do so much, I know what you're worth.
I walk cities just to bring you a smile,
And I'm shunned for a while.
When you love me so much,
With so much that you are.
I'm so weak inside, fighting all these thoughts.
And you close your hands on me,
And I feel my world complete.
If there's one thing I've to prove,
Baby, I don't deserve you.

In your eyes, I see that fire.
It burns my heart, this desire,
To watch your, your every step.
To hold you high, up way too high.
You find me weak, when you say love.
You'll find me asleep when you hold me close.
I'm falling through the skies, shouting your name.
I'm carving your name, in the depths of my soul.
They can see you've got to me,
Etched in my smile.
And with all your love,
I'm shunned for a while.

I stand here.

You held me in the walls,
Finding every fear in me,
You bring the strangers here,
And I cry and fight with everyone of you.
All of you who read this on these walls,
I've been here and bled,
You were here too but fled.

And someday in the dark,
When you see me shine,
Flying in the wind,
Running against the waves.
Working my way through the fire.
Paving my way on the sky, like painting my tomorrow.
Today I stand here, a face of yesterday.
Fearless, falling through the skies.
I stand on my feet, dropping at your feet.
When you walk my way,
And here I stand, unable to look in your eyes.

I remember every word you said,
The promises you made, you've kept.
The dreams you promise, I'm living them.
And the knifes I put on your back,
All the times I cried on your lap.
For every time I've tortured your soul.
With my words that hurt and the gestures of my past.
They haunt me today, walk to me.
I feel this memory fleeting.
Look me in the eye..
I'm standing here.

Crying a nightmare,

I've stabbed you I know,
Do you feel what I feel?
Everytime you're not here,
When you throw me away,
In their laughs,
When you follow the flaws in me.
Point me down when they arrive.
And when I'm sane, I dream of you,
Smiling at me, its a dream.

I feel flawless when you're with me,
When the moon shines, perfectly.
And the wind tickles your curls.
I notice everything but the coldness in you,
In this chilly winter night,
You stab me again, holding me until you cry,
Leave the thread to my misery,
And for everytime you've burned me down,
You look at me and cry,
It took everything in me and more,
To walk away, that day when you cried.
Crying at me, living a nightmare.

I'm 10

They say I'm too innocent for this,
All this shouting will hurt my cute,
When you hold me, lying on your hand,
I'm scared I'll be forever 10,
When I'm afraid of losing you,
They say I'm only a kid,
But I'm scared of these dark clouds,
I'm feeling something none of they do,
Without all of you, I'm just 10.
When you're here, you make me loved.
You give me all that I ever need.
When I bring your hands together,
You brush my hair, and smile at me,
Making me believe its not simple.
I see 1's and 2's in all my pages,
And 2 with 1 is 3, just like them and me.
But I'm so scared they'll change me,
I scribble everywhere there remain 2.
I tear them, again and again,
Slip em into the garbage,
Until you find them,
You and Mum, you hold me and cry,
And I see you hold her hand,
I smile, my world comes together.

Put you behind.

After the longest nights,
Staying up and watching them sleep,
Holding pieces of parchments,
I scribbled my quills,
Thought of every way, I could have you here.
Every word I wrote, was never enough,
With the morning light, I burned the pages,
Putting you behind,
When I blew the ashes,
I stabbed the hopes of my heart,
Living this pain, every night.
Just to put you behind.

And we all gathered,
Just to remember those we lost,
I saw you there, black and elegant.
I could feel myself being pulled to you,
Weeping in the corner,
I couldn't hold myself for long,
Until I turned around,
Walked away from you,
I shut out my heart,
And so much that I feel,
When I see you weak,
I pull myself together,
Until I lie in the corner,
And I cry, I feel ignorant, every time,
Just to put you behind.

Souls you touch.

You run and hide,
Away from every sad thought,
So brave, you're such a fighter.
And you fire me, from making you smile.
You throw me away, when I try to cheer you up.
You keep the darkests of thoughts inside,
Letting them haunt you, in this winter cold.
Making it harder to breathe,
Its not just me, but every soul you touched.
Every hand you've held.
They are all here, making you smile.
But you don't give up,
Tougher than the front you put.
Tougher than the breeze in this winter cold.
And we put it together,
Hold out the world for you.
I remember you held us close,
I remember your tears falling my down my cheeks.

You scream and shout,
But you never let it out,
You set fire to every star,
Making them shine brighter.
Making us feel so much,
You hold yourself close,
Crawling in this winter snow,
Feeling it on you,
Just to feel something,
You stare at the sky,
Making the star fall for you.
Every hand you've held,
Is right here, ready to climb,
All seven skies,
Just to pull them for you,
Just say the world,
And we'll hold out the moon for you.

Six Lives.

You can call me freak,
I'm twice on your killing streak,
Goodnight is over,
And you're sober.
We need that name,
You pull him to blame,
Go and grow,
Shine and show,
And you laugh in the evening,
Remember your cry in the morning.
Let go of the barells.
After all the quarells.
You move up and let me down,
I'm screwed up, let me drown.
And its never too late,
Didn't you wait?
I could chase you no more,
This winter, your cold made me sore,
I couldn't cry for you anymore,
My love in the pages you tore,
Close your eyes and let me go,
Forever, there's nothing left to show,
I was in it, getting addicted,
You held me, getting it?
To this pain and the drama,
In your pain, you blame it to karma,
And you've no reasons to smile,
Breaking me like a marble tile,
In half, and you throw half of me,
My other half, softer, you couldn't see.
If you were my cat, with seven lives,
I'd be the bat, blind for your tries.
In your next six lifes.
Say hello to my knives.

Family.

They read you like a book,
And your smiles turn the pages,
With every word bringing them closer,
The love you show, hurt you share.
Where the happiness begins,
And the sorrows drown.
Holding you back where there is lightning,
Holding you back where there is darkness.
They're always there, just say a word.
They're always there, just to complete you.
From your beautiful baby sister,
Her tears make you frown,
And look at the stones that made her fall,
You move them away, making her smile.
From your stone of an elder brother,
He walks before you,
Taking the perils of life,
Down on his lap, brushed before you sit.
He holds you by the hand,
Reminding you of his mistakes,
Regret in his eyes,
He paves the way for you,
Making you smile.

It started when you first cried,
And they cried too,
With tears of joy, they held you so close,
You're everything they've ever dreamed of.
They see you climbing to the top,
And they never frown, when you fall down,
You get back up, and they know you will.
They've given so much,
Maybe its time for you too.
You'll ache for their love,
Embrace while you can.
You'll ache for every emotion,
Listen, while you still can.

Save me?

This time, you saved me.
When I was about to fall,
You pulled me back.
I was beaming with glee.
You made accounts of your regrets,
You look back and say, no more turning back.
I held your hand, and I slipped of the cliff again.
And you pulled me again,
Showed me the jewels of life.
Giving me reasons to walk on by,
Setting fire to every dark thought.
This time, you saved me.
I was a thousand miles from darkness,
And toward the light, you pull me with you.
I can see your soul, crystal like,
I can feel you rubbing on me,
Everytime I cling to you,
Giving me more and more,
Just picking me up, whenever I fall down.
Giving me all of you,
Until I slipped again,
And I fell down.
This time won't you save me?
And I'm back to where I belong,
Alone and hopeless,
Picking up pieces of me, I remember you.

Before the storm.

We see he's gone,
Somewhere in the depths of the ocean,
Somewhere where there is no light,
Under the shine of these stars,
You cry like it rains tonight,
Thunder and lightning,
So scared of what tomorrow brings.
You rain over me,
Reminding me of my mistakes.
Where were I?
You make me remember,
Before the storm,
Before he was gone,
You make me remember,
Memories that made me cry.
Memories, I could never say goodbye.

I look back at this smile,
Such innocence,
Washed away, just a few days.
You were here, and we laughed together.
And you held her when she cried,
I laughed when you didn't get by,
Dipping your feet in the ocean,
Sometimes you pushed me too,
And I felt the rush,
I felt the rush of losing you.
And she makes me remember,
Of the darkness that ponders here,
Over us, when you're gone.
We miss you, its so silent here.
Before the storm.

Find me.

Watch me go, and push you away.
I am cold, when you cry.
All these tears, seeping on my shoulder,
And I let my hands fall,
When you hold me tight,
I'm cold, I've given up.
I feel nothing that you do,
I know sooner or later, its over,
You walk away and I'm in pieces.
When everything's meant to be broken,
I don't want to miss you, right now.

Watch me leave my soul behind,
In every step that I take,
Leaving a trail of me,
Will you come find me?
Where do I go when I'm lonely,
Tell me you'll follow.
I will laugh coldly,
When you hold my hand, I'll push you away.
I'm only looking out for my soul.
If I let you see me cry,
If I let you hold me tight,
Promise me you'll find me.

My Sad Reality.

I'm numbed by so much love,
In my sad reality,
And they look over my clangers,
Making me believe in the truth,
Yesterday does not define me,
And they've faced the past,
But they're still here.
Holding me hand,
After every stone hits me,
Deforming my soul, insecure and changed.
They're bringing new life to my soul.
And I look over my shoulder,
They all stand, waiting for me to move.
Until I tell them to,
They're just there, feeling every pinch on me.
Covering me from the sight of their fingers,
Turning them around, just to let me through.
Yesterday does not define me.
And you change my soul.
Breaking me from my misery,
Letting me out of this cage,
Where I look into the dark,
You enrapture me with your love,
With so much love,
Numbing me in my sad reality.

Daddy.

I remember holding your finger,
And we walked through the paths,
Of the cobblestones, near the fountains.
You held me high, I felt your love.

I look at that day,
Its your amazing smile,
Holding me tight,
Looking at this picture.
I miss you, do you miss me too?

I remember the promises we made,
When we looked at the stars,
I smiled at mom,
You gave me her ring that day,
Told me about her dreams,
And we set out of bring them to life,

Dad, was I always such a disappointment?
Why're you not here?
When they all hold me high?
For all I've ever done,
Do you see her in me too?
I've held her dreams tight,
I've been loved,
So much for all I ever did,
And that all was you,
Why're you not here?

Just like her you've left,
And I've your dreams to give life.
Just to smile and live on,
Like the times you closed my eyes,
Getting me used to the darkness,
To the loneliness.
I know now,
You never meant to stay.

Mourn.

I hold your photograph,
That beautiful smile,
I remember how much I loved you,
All those punches of peril you took for me.
I remember how your voice held me high,
And when you're not here,
Not that you're not here.
I've mourned your beautiful soul.
I can feel you staring at me,
When I look in the sky,
I find reasons to smile.
In the shining and twinkling,
One of these star, you're my star.
I wish I had told you,
Of all so much gratitude.
How I can never repay you,
For everything you've ever did.
But I just lie here,
Staring into nothing,
Finding something out of nothing.
Making these excuses for why you're not here.
And when you're not here,
Now that you're not here.
I've mourned your precious smile.
I lie lifeless, I can feel you here.
Where'd you go?
Please come back home.

Regret.

I don't ask for you for much,
For you to forgive me or to forget.
I don't want you know, I'll live in regret.
I was in the darkest of sides,
And you walked away from my pleas.
I was tired of waiting,
Just for you to smile at me again,
But you're stuck in those memories,
I remember, I haven't been perfect,
I know I'll never be.
Why do I try?
What you've missed all your life,
Giving me reasons to regret each breath.
I fall down at your feet,
I know its never enough,
For all the times you cried on my shoulder,
Setting fire to your tears,
And I walked away, finding another way around.
And I never heard the sound,
The sound of you crying,
For all my mistakes,
I don't ask for much.
I don't ask for forgiveness.
I don't wish for you to forget.
Just never know I'll live in regret.

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”

So much love.

You ask me why,
And I laugh and smile,
I love you, its limitless,
Higher than the skies,
Deeper than all oceans,
Come here and feel it too,
Let me take care of you,
Let me be there to hold you high,
So strong, you're so tough.
You took all their fights with a smile,
But you never had to,
You put a brave smile and fake a laugh,
But you didn't have to,
When I stand here,
Throwing away all of me,
Just to bring my shadow to you,
To protect you from the peril.
And I take step by step,
Picking you up,
Holding you high,
Brush your demeanor with so much love,
Blinding you with my innocence.
And you fight just to feel right,
Fight with all that you feel.
But I hold you by love,
You are my world,
The one I adore,
The one I love, for so much that you are.

When I look at you.

I can see my mistakes,
When you smile, I regret.
The thought of tears in your eyes,
My heart beats, beats me heart.
It hits walls and drops down.
I can feel it down on me,
Making me sick, just another day.
When I look back to those days,
I wish I could just around.
Stand with you,
I wish I could stand with you,
When the rain fell down.
When the rain fell down.

One more time, just one more day,
I'll be there for a fight,
If you push me away,
I'll let you know its clearly wrong.
I can fix every shattered,
Travel the world to pick pieces of you.
I can see my mistake,
And you shine them with your smile,
When you shine so bright,
Bringing life to all that's broken,
You bring life to my broken heart.
When I look back to your precious face,
The tears in your eyes,
Beats my heart when my heart beats.
Beats me for every wrong step.

Through the window.

You didn't ask for it,
You never gave your heart,
But you lie with our dreams,
How we look in the future?
With no hope for tomorrow,
We just live these little moments,
Caught in the middle of roads,
We have no where to go,
We're left with the expectations,
This is the time you just smile,
Watch the days go by,
Bring life in everything you do,
And I live, just with you.
Day after day, we make dreams come true,
Just me and you.

Yesterday when you told you loved me,
You voice hasn't stopped echoing,
I can feel our dreams come to life.
Like you hold the hands of the little ones,
We walk in the snow,
And we dance in the rain,
When I look out this window,
It rains in the sunshine,
And the ice melts the snow,
Its just you, lying here with you,
There's so much that you do,
Bring life in everything you do,
And I live, just with you.
Day after day, we make those memories,
With no clue of tomorrow,
Just you and me.

I'm losing.

Its the same place,
Its the same date,
A few months later,
But I'm alone now,
I can see my mistakes,
I can feel them leave me behind,
In the darkness the of night,
In the coldness of all their smiles,
They walk around me,
Hand in hand,
And I don't remember your laugh,
I don't remember your smile.
I'm losing a memory.

I remember my hands on your waist,
We danced to that song,
Where you hummed the tone,
And I sang those words,
Watching you count the stars,
I couldn't look away.
Until you lost count,
And I felt you shiver.
I thought I'd warm you up with my smile,
But you held me tight, shivering more.
I'm losing my charm.

To every promise I made,
Promises I couldn't keep.
I feel the crack on my demeanor,
In the outlines of my heart,
How I carry your heart,
Setting fire to our love,
Brighter than the sun,
I held you tight,
I couldn't feel you there.
I'm losing you.

Under the rainbow.

Just underneathe the stars,
Where the birds stay still,
Feeling the wind against their wings,
And the fly to the highest peak,
Hidden by the rain,
Until the most beautiful rainbow,
Pulls them all, towards that laugh.
It changes the world,
Dumbfound by the thunder,
Pulled towards every drops that falls,
Crack after crack, they stood there.
Staring into nothing,
Where the rainbows lie,
Where there is no love or hate,
And sorrow lifts up the happiness,
Where the rich find the poor,
Under the rainbow,
Where the clouds crack and they're all there.
And when it rains, they're no longer hidden.

End of the world.

The skies are crashing,
And we run from the clouds,
They burst over us,
Just flooding us with memories.
I watch the place we used to love,
Fade away into ashes,
As it rain over the fire.
And we put off our hate,
All this rage and all the sorrow,
We let them drown,
Like they're never be tomorrow.
If its the end of the world,
Let me carve your way,
Away from every stone that falls,
From the dunes that cover me,
Later when I'm alone,
When you're nowhere to be found,
Away from these lightnings,
The thunder and the clouds,
That set fire to me.

If it was the end of the world,
I'd have you linger on my hold,
Finding reasons to stay longer,
When I held you tight,
When the flowers fade to petals,
Flying away like the lashes,
Of my eyes, wished upon.
Just to keep you here longer.

I take comfort from this rain,
I feel it numbing my senses,
Putting off my despair,
Pulling through my soul,
Like there's no tomorrow.
Like its the end of the world.

Darkenss that meant the world to me.

I look back on this road,
So far, beyond the horizon.
As far as I could see,
I just watched you walking with me.
Now a few steps to fall,
Just a few steps end it all.
I can't see why you're not here,
I close my eyes and my tears fall,
My breathe quickens, like my heartbeat.
I close my eyes and it burns.
The memories of you, flashing before me.
Is it the moment I'll remember?
This pain making me so cold inside.
You made it seem so beautiful,
Now without your memories,
I open my eyes to this darkness,
This darkness that once made me smile.
It was colourful and bright back then.
This darkness that meant the world to me,
Before it shattered, before the fall.
Now it lies underneathe my steps,
Pieces of you,
The way you made me feel alive,
The way you lifted all my pain,
And I pick these pieces up,
Walking all the way back,
I'll hold your hand,
Just to do it again.

For all the right reasons.

The music starts,
And I can see you looking at me,
With the blush on your cheeks,
The perfection of your smile,
Drawing me to you,
Next to the fountain,
Where all our world meets.
I hold your hand,
Lead you under the stars,
Where the music moves your feet,
I hold your hand,
And twirl you into me,
I can feel the flick of your hair,
Tickling my sensing, like your sweet perfume.
I follow every look in your eye.
I find all the thing I ever fell for.
From the hint of shyness,
And the nervousness on your palm.
I could you just hold your hand,
And watch you breathe, quicker than I'd walk away.
Deeper than my love for you,
Hitching your breathe,
And fluttering your eyes,
You whisper, ' Don't do this to me.'
For all the right reasons,
I leave you breathless,
For all the right reasons,
I do so much for you.
With just your smile,
Your beautiful smile,
You leave me speechless.

Next to you.

I'll be the one next to you,
With all your needs,
Clenched so tight in my hand,
I'd never let them go,
I need you to need me,
Is it enough to keep you here?
When you hold my hand?
Just to go through every step,
Leaving trails behind,
And you walk within the lines,
Seeping in every little detail,
And I stand next to you,
Hold the side of your face,
I can feel your eyes, bore into mine.
Inside your world falling apart,
Your brown beautiful eyes,
Shattering into pieces,
I can see your dreams,
In the tears you wipe.
Was it enough when I held you tight?
Was it enough when you walked over me?
Was I the one you remembered when you cried?
Is it enough for me to die?
Just to save your life.

Push me.

Give me reasons to breathe,
Behind the lines of hate,
Beneathe the shower of love,
Put me there,
Up on a pedestal.
Put me there until I'm free again,
Pointed on, until I'm shimmering,
I'm shining.
Brush the strands of my hair,
Hand me the ray of hope,
Push me, and push me hard.
Push me until I live again.

You stole my senses,
Numbing me to the bone.
I stepped in the wrong shoes,
Feeling out of place,
Somewhere under the wrong shadows.
When every movement, felt like a heartbeat.
Moving so loud, past all my wards.
These walls I put up, you look past them.
Painting it bright, paving my future.
Brushing with colours, like potraying your love.
I stare at this wall, giving me reasons to smile.
Hand me the ray of hope,
Push me, and push me hard.
Push me until I live again.

If it wasn't for...

If it wasn't for my love of the process of things,
How I love watching things grow, facing things, pushing the limit,
I'd be the laziest coach potato ever, I'm however not at all lazy.
In the spontaneous moments, how I decide on running miles and made a life out of it,
How I started rhyming a few months ago, and now stand here with heaps of pages.
The pen and the paper, my thoughts and this silence, Its all I'd ever need to keep my alive.
When they pushed me away, when they brought me down,
When I was the punching bag, I remember how I sat in silence,
Imagining life otherwise, like every other kid would.
If it is giving up on everything that you've ever wished for,
Or wanting something you can never have,
Feeling something so true that it breaks you down,
If its screaming to the whisper and talking to the silence,
I've been there, I've pretty much felt all of that.
If it wasn't for the depth of my thoughts, I'd be another 9 to 5..
At times when they fall on me, I walk to place I'd usually drive,
This is how I usually waste time and fall behind of daily chores.
I put my headphones on and suddenly the world stops making sense,
Screaming so loud and I never heard a thing,
I look at my brothers, the ones I live with and don't.
I can see how I would die for them,
I wouldn't say they're always there, but I wasn't so much of a needy person anyways.
When it comes to cheering me up, I've never been more thankful.
When it comes to making me feel like a father, well I wouldn't be thankful.
They're so brave on the outside, putting on the fake faces,
Deep inside, we're all the same, ready to fall apart,
Never letting the other know,
We do everything together, from hiding from the nerds to facing the retards.
We all talk so much but never say a word, weird init?
If it wasn't for my conscience, the way I realise everything that goes wrong,
How every turn that I take makes me feel more and more concious,
Am I wrong? What is it that I'm doing? And why?
All these questions have never let me fall in the wrong plates,
And this would be everything on the inside that I'll never speak,
Maybe you've read it in my eyes.
Or just read it out here.
If it wasn't for all of you, I'd never be me.

Memories of you.

I wouldn't have flinched,
I wouldn't have shed tears,
Held my head and cried all night.
I would've held my head up high,
Walking though the roads we took,
After that morning coffee,
And your beautiful smile,
The way you held my hand,
And talked about the faces in the sky,
Finding dust under my eyes,
You brushed my cheeks,
Ran your fingers over my scar,
Just the way you did,
Everytime you'd see it,
And hold me tight,
Like I'm about to break down.
I wouldn't have fallen at every move,
If you haven't taken away the memories,
As I look at the empty wall,
Where the pictures of us hung,
When our favourite song played over the radio,
But I couldn't find that chanel anymore.
I walked over the same road,
I could no longer see the colourful houses,
Or the flaws in their lawns.
I could no longer feel the nervousness on my palm,
The sky's no longer cloudy and grey.
I wouldn't feel the pain of losing you,
If you didn't leave traces of you..
And its like you're gone,
Just gone,
With everything we were,
Everything I had,
Memories of you.

A little more than tomorrow.

A little less than tomorrow,
A little more than yesterday,
I feel a little more of this fever,
Falling forever, I'm free falling.
Forever running to nowhere,
I hold up all my thoughts,
I put them on a plate,
And you break the dishes,
Making me fall, shattering me,
I couldn't feel anymore,
When you walked away..
With my soul and more,
I couldn't feel anymore.
Running from the emotions,
I watched him cry, never felt that rush,
I would've wiped his tears,
I would've held him tight,
He stops at my face,
Like facing a nightmare,
Realizing the monstorous gaffe on my face,
The way I force a smile,
Like its never there,
The way I laugh out loud,
Making them walk away.
I worry and I weight a little less,
A little less than yesterday,
A little more than tomorrow,
You walked away with my soul,
And I wish emotions could be borrowed.

Grieve and Mourn.

I saw you taking all the wrong steps,
Turning around to notice me looking at you,
I could feel you hesistate.
In the biting of your lips.
I could see you hitch your breath,
Waiting for every inch of you to release.
And I waiting for you to disappear again,
I could unwrinkle my worries.
At the edge of the cliff,
I watched the sun set down,
And then I couldn't feel you anymore.
All I ever did was bring you together,
I held your hand, I couldn't watch you suffer.
But you pushed me away,
Leaving my soul battered.
You never turned around,
Leaving my dreams shattered.

You stole my heart,
Before I heard your voice,
Before I saw the fire in you,
The way you walked upto every pin,
Softening the edges,
Being stronger than I could imagine,
You were tougher than I'd ever see,
But you walked away, I couldn't watch you suffer,
Now you lay there on the floor,
And my heart is stabbed,
Playing hide and seek with my soul,
Soulless and lifeless, I walked till dawn,
In every breath, my mistake I mourn.
All I ever did was bring you together,
I held your hand, I couldn't watch you suffer.
But you pushed me away,
Leaving my soul battered.
You never turned around,
Leaving my dreams shattered.

Listen.

I held myself together,
Everyday, everytime.
When you hit me heart first,
Moving my insecure little world,
I felt these tremors in me,
When you moved my way, moving me.
I felt your voice echoing,
Over and over calling my name,
In my sleep whispering to me.
Washing emotions over me,
With my innocent eyes,
And I feel complete,
Like you've half of me,
When you're here, I watch you breathe,
I'm sleepless, feeling numb.
Looking back from where I came,
To what I've become,
From the times I went days alone,
I'm just so dependent of everything you do,
Do you know me?
After every drop of tear I've shed for you?
Do you feel my pain?
After I lay myself for every knife that cuts you,
I put my faith in your smiles,
But you decided to never smile again,
I was your voice and you sat in corners.
Likes there's no me with you,
You move me just don't move away,
You've half of me,
Listen close,
Listen to every beat of me,
Listen to what they say.

Through every fall.

I hear your voice, and you stab me slowly.
With every word, racing my heart.
I can feel you move when you breathe.
In every little thing, I see so much life.
I close my eyes and smile to you.
For every blessing, the reasons to smile.
For everything that I've ever been,
Finding the heavier things,
Just letting them go,
You let them go,
Watching me hold your hand,
Through every fall, I fall down with you,
Holding you higher than ever.

I could shine all the light on you,
Shine with brighter than the sun,
With so much love, I could let it all go.
I can hardly breathe when you hitch and sob,
Words stop making sense, like when you smile.
I find my dreams in reality, at times like these..
I could hold you higher than I'd ever be,
Finding your place, right where you belong,
While I'm waiting, steady and strong,
No one could ever pull you down.
Through every fall, I fall down with you,
Holding you higher than ever.

Beyond The Mountain.

Was it when we ran through the fields,
You fell down and I kissed you cheeks,
Wiped away your tears and you cried for comfort.
I held you tight and brushed your wounds.
We cried and laughed, singed through the day,
Running from the mountains to the edge of the cliff.
I could see the innocence in your eyes,
Even then, when the words we said, so light
So innocent, back then,
When all we cared about,
Were the rainbows high off the sky,
The day, ending with a goodbye,
Until tomorrow, when we smile again.
You'll be here and I'll bring the colours,
We can fill the clouds with your laugh,
Let them linger here,
Until you're gone, they'll crack.
And I'll remember you.
Was it really then, when I fell for you?

Was it when you had your dreams far away,
From this place we called home.
You ran to that better place,
Finding your place in ever street cafe,
I sit here on this same cliff,
I wonder the time the tears rolled down your cheeks,
I ran to you and I fell on my knees,
So weak and broken, I sheltered you from the rain.
All I saw was your happiness beyond the mountain.
When the clouds crack, I remember that long day.
And I remember you.
Was it really then, when I fell for you?

Life.

I'm not really good at writing anything other that Poems and official stuff,
I can write anything in a poem and say 'fiction' and get away with every staring eye.
But its different like this, People nowadays are very judgemental.
I learned it the hard way.
Okay so lets just write without thoughts,
I've felt alone, I've felt lost and isolated.
I've stayed up nights just to figure life out,
And everytime I've come up with a different conclusion,
A different view on it, a different scenario of my 'tomorrow'.
I've come to one conclusion though,
What you will really think about your 'life', at any given time or day,
It all depends on what you've been through in the recent days,
The tales of a few people, or their experiences can change our lives.
Believe me or don't, sometimes even a few songs can turn you into someone people around you will love more.

What is life according to you?
A touchy topic or a clique?
Something that will never make sense?
You just need to look into yourself and find all that you have, every bit of you is blessed.
All of us need to overlook every little flaw in our lifes.
Be thankful and watch your life turn to something that makes sense in a single sentence.
I learned it the hard way.

On the edge.

I can feel myself fall,
When I let my guard down,
I feel myself bleed from my eyes,
I can hear you walk away..
And I see you lying there,
Ignoring all my gestures.
I would it give it all up,
Just to see you smile.

Throw all your pain,
Aim it at me,
I'll take it up,
Even if you miss some,
If its in sunshine,
Or the dark of the moon,
Remember me if you need flowers,
If you want smiles and love,
Think of me and feel me there,
Around the corner, watching over my heart.
Watching over you.

I couldn't tell you how words hurt,
I'd feel it everytimes you walked away.
When I hold out my hand,
Picking you up after every fall,
Promising to never let you fall again,
But you went back again,
Taking all those roads,
I was a little late again,
I held my hand to pick you up again.
But you didn't need me anymore.

Grow on me.

Time flies and people change,
I've watched you grow but you stayed the same.
Growing on me like a beautiful creeper,
Giving me flowers that make me smile.
Flaws drop by and you've stayed the same.
Day after day, spreading in every inch of me.
Like catching fire in here, in my heart.
I've left all the edges,
I couldn't feel myself drown.
I walk with my head up high,
And you never let me down.
Talking to me but hardly speaking.
I know your eyes say so much,
And the way you feel on me.
Like a creeper growing on me.
I've kept you so close to this heart,
Beating for you, beating as you grow.
Covering more of me, with your love and flowers.
Making me smile and fade..
Fade into you, cover me with your love.

When you were here.

You found me in every weak position,
Turned around and smiled,
Caught my eye and blew me away.
With every blink of your eye,
Throwing me farther into this bliss.
I remember feeling overwhelmed,
Worked up when you looked at me,
I couldn't keep myself together when you flinched.
I couldn't find my words when you said nothing,
From the touch of your hand,
Until the time I caught your eye,
I felt so cold, with this fire in my chest.
You warmed me up and put it out.
Bringing my world together, whenyou came to me.
Step after step, I remember each word you said..
Moment after moment, I remember every smile you gave.
With your precious eyes, you made me feel that rush.
Holding me tight you couldn't say so much..
From the corner of your eyes,
Till the palm of your hand,
Your beautiful smile and soft hair,
I would do it all again, just to feel you there.

Heartbeats.

Our heart beats,
Sometimes harder than before,
Some softer than you'll ever feel.
In every beat, there's truth.
There's love, hate, anger and sorrow.

Put your hand to your heart,
Feel every little beat.
Are you running away from the truth?
Can you feel yourself fade towards love?
Hear what the heart never says,
Feel what the heart will never feel.

Slower than before,
Lower than you'll ever know.
Are you feeling defeat?
Did you close yourself?
Let yourself cry?
Hide no more,
Find the words and scream.
Let the world know.
Let them hear your heartbeat.
Somewhere inside you live.
Between beats you sing,
Telling the world things,
Things these your heart never will.

Here tomorrow?

To every corner of this city,
We can walk until the lights go off,
Fall asleep at that street cafe,
Ring up the bells at 1 in the morning..
Take away all the sorrow,
All the things that killed our day.
When the thoughts got brighter,
We ran away.. away.
To places we never knew..
I'm finding myself in you,
We tried to be just okay,
All we ever wanted was a piece of love,
And we're talking at this street cafe,
Finding love in every glance,
Just you and me,
Don't know where you'll be,
Tomorrow is a new day..

When it rains we can dance,
We could even cry, they'd never know.
For all the goodbyes,
All the stabs of life.
Stand at the edge of ocean,
You can jump but don't leave me alone.
You seem real when you smile,
It feels fake when I laugh.
Its only been a moment,
But I feel like you're the one.
Just you and me,
Here now, where'll you be tomorrow?

Our baby sister.

We've seen that fire grow,
Your brother and I,
We sat through the cries,
When Dad ran up the hill,
Feeding us with everything,
The little things making us happy..
We've been through that road,
Stepped the stones, we put them away.
Hold our fingers, we'll take you there.
Away from every little monster,
Away from the tiny bugs.
Shine our world with your adorable smile,
Point to whats pretty,
We'll take you there,
You're learning everything,
With your gestures and noises,
Get us all together,
Make us wonder what you think,
Until you walk next to us,
With your head held up high.
You'll see no darkness,
And shine our lives.
With such innocence in your eyes,
You live in our heart.
Your brother and I,
We've been through the tough times,
We'd paved this smooth road for you,
Our little princess,
Our baby sister.

Take me home.

I was so sure last night,
I've been walking since,
Every tree that goes by,
So familiar, feels like mine,
A tiny change in all these clouds,
They're greyer than before,
Bursting over me.
I can't find my way home..
I sang through all those bridges,
Distant from here, over the horizon,
The shining lights of my city...
I can see the fountain roaring up high.
Until I'm down again,
I don't know where to go.
Every turn I take feels like home,
Every step, feels so wrong.
I could've been there today,
But the stillness of the wind,
Followed by the roaring of the cloud..
Making me feel so lost,
Numbing my senses,
Drenched in rain, I sheltered under this tree..
This tree I believe I'd once sat under..
I wrote all about the smiles,
I remember scribbling my name here,
I can't trace it anymore..
Like the past is fading..
Challenging me, waiting for me to let go.
And I wait, close my eyes..
Wait for this nightmare to end.
Lost, insecure, Take me home.

Taking all of me.

Tonight, before midnight,
Hold my hand,
Around the fountain,
When no one's around..
Give me your hand,
Let me brush the flakes of snow away.
From the corner of your eyes,
Twirling you around every stranded road..
They can stare, point and laugh.
Just this world of you and me,
Let it all out,
Hum your tune and I'll tell you you're beautiful.
Fill every missing spot,
Every little detail of your life,
With all that I have,
All that I can give.
Give me your brightest smile,
Take all of me.

Let go of all the what ifs,
All of the maybe's.
Look at me,
Call my name and flirt with my innocence,
I can feel you winning me,
With every twitch of your lips,
With the shine in your eyes..
When you pull me close,
This sweet fragnance pulling me closer..
I can feel myself fade,
Fading within you,
Give me your brightest smile.
Take all of me.

My little world.

This little world of mine,
I create flowers from the sky,
They fall apart when you cry,
And it rains with your tears.
Slowly slowly working on my heart,
You grow on my, like the sunflower.
With every breath,
It gets colder here,
Like I'm breathing the happiness,
It snows, creeping through your neck,
Tickling your senses,
Its like lightning on a clear sky..
I've been trying to breathe love,
Fighting for every ray of sun,
Trying to get the flowers to blossom,
For the chirping of the birds,
The scent amidst the rainbows..
So natural, like breathing love..

Even in the brightest of days,
There's an empty hole in here.
Empty space between my fingers..
When you're not here..

Why're you loving me?

When they're all holding me back,
Punching me down,
When I try to come up,
I'm undershadowed.
When I try to fly,
They cut off my wings,
Lock me in a cell,
They numb my senses,
And I feel no pain..
You hold my hand,
You kiss my forehead,
You rub my cheeks,
And brush my hair..
Look into my eyes,
And overlook every flaw,
When they all crush me,
Break me and shatter me.
I'm in pieces,
And you pick me up,
Piece after piece,
You put me together..
And you leave me crying..
I was so used to hurt,
Why're you loving me?

Here I am.

I recall every little detail,
The way the fountain stayed shut,
The flowers dried up,
And the pathway covered in snow,
The sound of every step we took,
The stillness of the wind.
The chirping of the birds,
Followed by your amazing laugh..
I look to my side,
And I remember you next to me,
How you held my hand,
You took of your glove,
Just to feel my skin..
I remember the love in your eyes..
And here I am,
Its not the same..
I stand still for as long as I can remember,
It was forever and I was soaked in the memories,
I couldn't cry or maybe I did,
I don't remember, the raindrops are te same..
The fountain's so beautiful,
And the flowers held so high..
Everything so beautiful..
Lifeless but it looks so beautiful.
I look to my side,
And you're not here..
The rain stops and the sun sets,
The fountain dries and the flowers dead..
When you're not here.
Everything's so still,
Beautiful, yet lifeless..
I stand still for as long as I can remember,
And here I am.

Longing.

I can feel you've missed me,
Weeks since the last time,
I heard your laugh and it moved me.
I was doing very well,
Holding on to everything that made me smile..
Almost as bright as the ones you gave..
Almost as true as the happiness you gave..
I feel the butterflies flutter again,
Inside of my chest, when I hear your voice..
I felt the nervousness,
I could feel myself shiver,
As I heard you breathe, so long..
Its been so long..
I'm still in love,
With everything you are..
Every second and every moment,
I'm missing you so much..

I can feel it in your voice..
You're holding back too,
From the last time,
We've come so far..
We've done everything they said we couldn't..
I've stayed up nights to soothe you to sleep,
You've made sense out of every flaw..
My eyes are looking for you,
In every corner..
My voice needs your tone,
In every word I say..
I'm longing to hear you whisper..
'I've missed you so bad'..

So much, so much more.

You're so much,
So much more than you give yourself the credit for,
I can write pages on your beauty,
The way you blink and the shine of your eyes.
How you put me before you,
Wiping every tear and comforting me,
I remember how all my memories were your enemy.
All the dark days that you shunned away.
With the way you care,
The way you love me.
I've seen my life change,
I've seen the worst and,
I've been with the best.
When I was with you, I could feel myself change..
From the worse, you make me better..
You did so much,
Never gave yourself the credit for..
In your silence, I can hear the shatter,
The shattering of your heart,
In your tears, I can see the rainbows.
The ways you've changed me,
How I see everything so beautiful,
Even in the dark, I'm so thankful.
And your voice, like an angel.
Whisper love to me,
I can never feel that way..
The way you made me feel.
You did so much,
So much more than you give yourself the credit for...

Letting go.

She has her mother's eyes,
And the way she smiles,
Finding me wherever I hide,
Tingling every sense in me,
I can feel her play with her hair,
When my heart beats loud,
I know she's thinking of me,
When her eyes strike me with fire..
Its hard to not look away..
With so much grace,
She can turn me around..
Find me wherever I hide,
Blame me for whenever I wasn't there..
I just couldn't feel you too much,
I'd feel you here and never feel you here.
Feel so much and I could never lose it..
I held your hand and I had the world..
If you don't find me here,
I'm scared of losing my world..

Maybe I needed you to pull me closer,
Whisper to me and make me feel..
I've missed on so much,
Living in the fears,
Love you so much but I've never loved.
I can feel you needing me back,
When I hold your hand,
I left my heart on the plate..
Holding you closer,
Getting used to the feel of you,
Memories your scent,
Learning your expression..
Letting go off my fears.
I'm loving you..

Mirrors.

What do you see?
When you look in the mirror?
Do they show you who you are?
Do you see who you want to be?
I found myself in there,
Behind one of those mirrors,
Smiling back at myself,
Reflecting back at how pathetic I've been,
With the dull eyes and the greasy hair,
Do you feel broken too?
When you look at who you are?
And what you could've been?
Its never too late to smile again...

Do you like the way your eyes shine?
When you feel the love for her?
When you think of him?
Do you look away or smile back at you?
Are you seeing yourself on a pedestal?
Place yourself there with the best in you..
Find out who you are, place yourself high.
You're worth more than the mirrors show,
They show you smiling, beaming..
These mirrors hold your secret..
Be what they're making you see..

Broken Wings.

You've walked the very few steps,
Over a few stones and you're bleeding,
Looking into their eyes like you're dying..
Resenting from every smooth surface,
You've fallen deep..
Into this pit of darkness you've created..
Shadowed by a few, you feel so weak,
You've made yourself fall so low,
Desperate, broken, feeling so insecure.
This hunger for sympathy,
Just smile when they push you,
Smile again when they push you harder...
With the looks on your face,
You'll be gone by the end,
The end of this road.

You felt so out of line,
When you were left alone,
You went with every dark ray,
Finding blood in every corner,
You found peace in pain..
When they hurt you, you felt pain..
Like a misrable angel, you've fallen..
This is you, you've broken your wings..
Let go of the threats you've found..
Smile in the darkness,
Let go, shine on..

Friend.

I remember thinking about something..
And there he stood,
Right next to me when we were alone..
He held his heart back,
Wiped away his emotions,
Like an open book to me,
He said everything I thought the other day..
When he understands you like a song..
Speaks to you, in this tone..
Just for the two of you..
He said everything I thought of..
He did everything I asked for..

I remember his voice,
Shrill in the middle of the night,
When I shivered and held myself together,
He held me close when I shed my fears,
Tear after tear, amidst my nightmares,
He made them alright..

And there she was..
Understanding this speech of mine,
Never understood by them..
I could swear they'd think the worst of me..
Word after word I felt myself being punched..
For ever wrong step I took back then..
She could just smile and make me believe..
Like a bold leader,
Leading me away from the darkness,
At times when I needed it the most,
She wiped off my tears and slipped me smiles..
Understand this speech of mine,
Understood by no other..
I was breathing again..
So thankful for every moment,
Every moment she was there..
Smiling and making sense out of nothing.

Just words.

Words they can hurt,
When you fall short of them,
You stand there in the corner,
With the corners of your lips,
Twitching and switching..
You flee to every corner,
In the your thoughts,
You spread like the fire,
Finding elegance in your tone,
Stuck when you're short of them,
Just words..
Mere words, with the strings...
Working on you, burning you down..

Words, they make you smile..
When you let them flow,
From the pits of your heart,
Pumping up with the your blood,
The blood that loves,
Flowing to every corner,
Forming a smile from the corner,
Corner of your beautiful lips..
Finding affection in your eyes..
In love when they work on you..
Just words..
Mere words, with the strings..
Working on you.. shining your eyes..

Never mine, I was all you had.

I'm still breathing here,
And I'm sorry everyday.
I won't always find,
Myself in the corner of guilt,
I'll move on but I'm sorry.
For everytime you bled out,
No one else was crying,
When you walked away..
No one else was dying..
When you couldn't stay..
I'm still crying for you..
And I wish these things you knew..
I can have you here but never have..
Everything I want, my other half.
For every moment you smiled,
I pictured this world of love,
Where we breathed love,
And you gave away happiness,
With every tear we formed rainbows to slide on,
We found ourselfs smiling, finding clouds to glide on..
We kept walking, right next to the sun..
Weighing on me, now you're too much to carry..
Leaning on me, like I've been yours forever..
Never mine and I was all you had..

Work.

Does this really work for you?
Killing me down and apologizing,
Watch me fake my smile,
Using the softer side of me,
I could never glare on you,
I was never the one to shout..
And you slipped all your mistakes,
Holding me by my face,
While my tears welling up on you..
I was never the one to shout..
You misunderstand every word I say,
Walk away to every move I make,
I was insecure and you crossed me out,
Living like you'll never lose me,
Will it really work for you?
Watching me walk away,
With all that I have,
All that I give,
For our love to catch fire,
All that I surrender,
To make it easier for you,
I was never that one,
That one you loved.
Watch me walk away,
With all that I have.

Reasons to smile.

I've been so lost,
Looking for you,
Everything, in every corner..
I trace sparks of your smile,
Tears of your eyes,
Seaped up in the dew,
They rain over me,
Covering me with your scent,
I can feel you near,
I wish you were here..

Fighting my way to you,
I've killed time,
And fought with these thoughts,
They say, you're gone,
Leaving tracing to nowhere,
I've been here before,
Where you smile,
I can see my tears,
Seaped up by the dew,
Raining over me..
I can feel your in this sand,
The way it slips,
I wish I had never let you go..
Now I need you here..

When the clouds burst together,
I heard your laughter,
And it rained your scent,
I couldn't help but smile..
When I laid down in the dark,
And it rained outside,
I remember every look in your eye,
It rains, giving me reasons to smile.

Still.

I wear that shirt,
When I'm missing you,
I remember when you held me tight,
With your arms around me,
It feels alright,
Everything feels so true..
I walk the roads we took,
Sit on that same park bench,
I remember how the birds flew away..
With your laughter, they stood still..
Watching you smile your beautiful smile..
They stood still,
Like nature on hold..staring.
You're so beautiful.
You held me.

I ran my fingers through the river,
They feel colder than before,
And they wet my eyes,
I miss you.
I took every step,
With you holding my hand,
And here I am,
I wish you were here,
Watching me smile,
I just wish you're somewhere,
Watching me cry..
I remember the way you made me feel,
It has me wishing for more..
I wore that same shirt, sat on the same park bench..
Its never the same, without you holding my hand...
You're so beautiful.
I miss you.

Never Show.

You can tell me you care,
Hold my finger and take me everywhere..
Place me on a pedestal and shine on me..
You can make me smile and let the entire world see..
I can feel you fade when you look away...
I sense hesitation in every word you say..
Walk away now, why're you still here?
Throw me away, don't pull me near..

There were a thousand candles, just you here..
Burning one by one.. Fear after fear..
Tear after tear, rainbows in our eyes..
The rivers we formed after all our goodbyes..
Deep inside my heart, I've carved your name..
It rains here and things don't stay the same..
Find me in every bursting cloud..
I'll pour over you, pour out loud.
If you see me walk away, just let me go..
Don't tell me you care and never show..

Flutter.

When you're here..
I can see the stars glide,
The rainbows smile,
And the birds fly..
When you smile,
It rains love and happiness.
I can see the tears in their eyes,
The tears that cloud my love.
And the waterfall's rush to me,
I walk through the clouds,
Drenched in love...
I can feel your breathe in them,
You breathe in my heart..
The flowers sway,
Dancing with the butterflies,
With the butterflies in me,
Fluttering when you flutter your eyes..
I can fly with your breathe,
Out into nothing..
And when you stop smiling,
They world turns grey..
I'm deeper than the deepest thought,
Deep in this colourless world.

Pieces Of My Heart.

They said you walked by,
I can see them staring at me,
They said, you've worked me out..
Last time I heard myself was next to your goodbye,
I'm masking all my sorrow with these regrets,
Fighting my way back to yesterday..
I'm going back to yesterday,
Undoing everything that took my pieces away..
Pieces of my heart..
Now I'm blind.

I fell from the top,
Feeling every floor down my way,
I've crashed at your doorstep,
Watch me bleed and walk away,
I see you everyday,
Staring at me, broken..
You walk away..
With your head up high,
Taking pieces of my heart away..
Pieces of my heart..
Now I'm blind.

If we just walk our ways,
A few stages down the road,
I know we'll meet again,
Will you see me smile?
When I see your beatiful eyes,
Will I just smile and walk away..
Will I be blind?
Alone without pieces of my heart..

So many tears..

One for my neighbour,
The other for the driver,
Here at the funeral,
There are all for her in general..
Everyones falling apart,
And I'm smiling now,
So many tears,
Making me smile..

I had one for the distance,
Next for your hesitance.
I ran towards the corner,
A place in your heart, maybe warmer..
I can see them falling apart,
And I turn around and walk away..
For the first time,
Fighting life,
For the first time,
Smiling for me.

He sat there alone,
With her words written,
Holding that parchment he cried,
Until tears on her words, they dried..
Slipping away leaving it empty,
Like thats all she wrote...
Leaving nothing, thats all she wrote.
Everyones falling apart,
And I'm smiling now..
So many tears,
Making me smile..

Star.

I remember when you held me tight,
My tears didn't stop,
And you kept whispering to me.
I felt lost, and I couldn't figure it out..
Words were never enough,
I wished I could tell you,
For you cared so much,
You never asked why, you said said goodbye..
I wish I could do you the same..

Lost in conversations with you,
I forgot all about,
The things that stabbed me here,
I held my heart,
I closed my eyes,
When I wasn't with you,
I started to bleed again..
Bleeding every bad memory,
Crying out and clinging to nothing.
I need you,
Without you, life is still and silent.

I sit at the edge of the cliff,
Your feet hung out here,
Thinking about nothing we stared into space..
The water that falls here,
Rushing through our ears,
We couldn't count the stars,
Smiling and shining at us,
Finding their way out of lies,
Out of every promises made to break..
Out of life, they're all falling..
Stars are falling,
They're leaving you behind...

Love in here.

Love in the papers I write,
In every word I say,
And every smile I show,
There's so much love for you,
Love in my eyes,
Tearing for you.

You're in the songs I write,
In the thoughts that tingle me,
From the deepest pits of me,
The thought of your smile,
Comforting me, making me smile.
You're my vacation when I'm down..
Not here anymore,
Breaking me down..
Love in my thoughts,
Tearing me up..

I put you behind,
But I saw her cry,
In the corner of this cafe,
She held her heart and cried,
Reminding me every bit of love,
This love I have for you..
Rekindled, firing this knife,
Stabbing me whenever I think of you..
Love in my heart..
Stabbing me now..

Next to me.

When the sun never shined,
The moonlight faded,
The stars dimmed down,
The clouds turned greyer by the day,
The water of the rivers dried by,
Chirping and flying the birds no longer sang,
Fires putting out water,
I wished for one shining star,
I wished for you,
All I needed was you,
Next to me..
" Breathe. Everything is okay. "

One minute I have the world in my hands,
Then you leave my hand and walk away..
To the end of the tunnel,
Behind my horizon,
I can see you somewhere far away..
Your silhoutte, making me dizzy.
Why're you so far away?
So close, beating my heart,
You're still so faraway..
All I needed was you,
Next to me..
" Breathe. I'm right here. "

Do I make you look bad?
When you hold me close, and I cry?
Does it embarrass you to be mine?
When was the last time I hurt you?
Do you rememeber how I called you beautiful?
Does it hurt you too, when you listen to our song?
All I need is you..
Next to me..
" Breathe.. I'm here, everything's alright. "

I Wished..

I wished on the feathers,
Dropped of with your tears,
I wished on your eye lashes,
When you held me back,
I wished I could reach out,
Put your hand on my heart,
I wished I could make you feel..
Months and you're still beating here, beating me.
I wished you would understand,
When you thought you knew me,
I just wished you would really know me..

When I spent months waiting for you,
To hear your voice I crossed the river,
Barefoot on the fire, I walked for you.
If I could drink up poison,
Just to save your life.
I couldn't push you away,
I couldn't ever see you cry..

I wished for the best of you,
When I watching the star fall,
I wished you could breathe again,
Learn to live without me,
I wished you had the same smile,
That smile that melted me,
I wished your laugh would never change,
That laugh, it pulled me to you.
I wished for you to understand me,
When I felt the tears in my eyes..

I just wished you understand me.

Taking Me Away..

I remember when I gave you me,
I gave everything I had,
Just to watch you smile,
Stayed up counting the stars,
Just to tell you I love you,
The first thing you heard was my voice,
I made sure the first thing you did was smile..
I remember waking up in the night,
When I dream of losing you..
I remember how you walked away,
I just stayed there and felt the dew..
When the sun started to shine,
You heard me cry,
In the middle of the night,
They all heard me cry..

I remember when I held you tight,
Holding my world together,
I remember how you made me feel,
You stab me now,
Wondering what went wrong,
Years could go by, would I ever change?
I waited up counting stars,
How could I ever change?
I remember losing myself, when I lost you.
I remember the pain I felt, when I missed you.
You've turned your back, you're walking away.
I can feel myself fade,
You're taking me away..

Part.

Like the finger on my hand,
Broken but they remain together,
One after the other,
Holding each other tight.
They're in pain, comforting each other.
You broke me apart,
You're hurting me.
Blaming me for everything that we did,
If you're hurt right now,
Remember me,
I was a part of you,
You're hurting me,
Isn't it hurting you?

I wish it stayed the same,
Until I moved to the other side,
I can no longer feel the rain,
In an hour late,
I can't see that rainbow you're under,
Maybe if I walked all night,
I'd reach your air...
I could see you again,
But you shut me out,
You're hurting me..
Folding me when I reach out for you..
I was a part of you,
Now you're parting with,
If I saw you again,
Wouldn't it hurt you too?

Bow wow wow.

#SoGay

I'm over here again,
In the same den,
Its dark again,
You're freaking out,
I can hear your shout,
Just so loud, it echo's now,
Two seconds later, bow wow wow..
Find the corner with the stone,
I'm here, right next, your corner stone.
Find me there,
Everywhere,
I'm like the fire,
Every noise taking your higher,
Gasping for air,
I'm dieing in here,
Look at me now,
Once again, bow wow wow,
They said don't stop,
Your the best, on top.
I'm a little dodgy when youre on me,
On my mind like setting fire on me,
Fire on fire, your crack me up,
Would you crack me up, notice 'crack me up'?
Just look away, its the best for you.
Don't turn to me when I'm ignoring you.
Feel me up, I can kill you now,
If you're too cool, I'm dieing, bow wow wow!

Under The Same Sun.

Tears drop from my eyes,
I can feel myself weaken,
In the corner where I sit,
At times I can see you here,
Soothing me, waiting for me to nudge.
I run away, I'm losing you,
Slowing down just to find you here again.
I shut my eyes and you're never here..
Looking at me like I've burned you before,
Like I pushed you in the fire,
Ticking all your wounds,
Staring and glaring like I'm the reason,
The reason you can't walk the same,
The reason you can't live the same.

I understand every tears that slips by,
Whenever you cry, I don't know what I feel,
I'm here in my own box,
Scratching the sides, wasting my energy.
You expect me to pull you away,
Polish every step for you,
Why would I take it all on me?
I'm under the same sun,
Feeling the same stab..
What you're crying over,
I'm crying over too..

A Thousand Splendid Suns

What is left for me? Other than ashes and rubble.
Everywhere. Everything. Every shadow... a hint of fear in it.
A hint of death.
A place left soulless, yet I reside here.
They've left, all of them have.
Why leave me? I'm numb. Incomplete.
Battered and broken. My soul shadow. My happiness.
The happy tear of my eye, my acquaintance of every living second.
Every breathe. Gone. A day left for goodbyes.
What face do I have to show?
What promises is this breaking?How many? Weak and puffy, I cried in that dark alley.
Never resting the question, why me?
Why this place? And most bleak, why him?
I needed him, He was my air.My support. My living miracle.
Yet, he's gone, I'm here again.
A thousand miles away from him,
With no clue, not an idea..
And not a pleasant memory.

Just Holding On.

You're on my mind,
Everyday, everytime..
When it rains and I feel it on my skin..
The hint of you, memories of you..
Always there.. Making me weak.
The thought of your smile,
Tears up my eyes..
The thought of losing you, stops my heart.
Its hard to breathe.
I smile every morning,
I think to myself,
This day, another day dedicated to you..
If its a thousand days, watch me standing here.
Holding on to your promise..
You promised me you'll be here.
I can feel you..
A little faraway you're feeling the same..
I just pray your heart beats louder,
When you think of me..
I just pray you smile and hold on..
Hold on to my voice..
Hold on to my smile..
I smile, holding on to your promises..
Holding on to your voice.
Tearing up at your beautiful smile..
Just holding on.
I miss you.

Everything.

Why can't I be the one?
To take every fall,
Bruise my knees, puncture my soul.
To feel every inch of pain,
That makes you frown,
That's making you weak,
I'm here doing everything,
Everything you don't want me to,
I'm weak.

Why did you have to be alone?
In this tug of war with darkness,
My guiding light, why're you falling?
You need me, I can see you needing me,
Why can't I be with you?
I'm here doing everything,
Everything you don't want me to,
I'm crying.

Why did my heart fall down?
Down so many stories,
All the way down into sorrow,
Towards the darkness,
Why did my heart cry?
When I saw your face,
In pain.. I couldn't look away.
From far away, I couldn't never reach out to you..
I'm here doing everything,
Everything you don't want me to,
Feeling guilty.
I miss you..

I Understand.

I understand all of them,
The way they walk,
The way they talk,
I can say if you've had a bad day,
I follow your expressions,
Deep down to the pits of your heart,
Don't lie to me,
I understand where you stand,
Where you've been,
Where you'd die to be..

The way your eyes seem,
When you lie to me,
You look away, and I know.
Just not today,
The way you turn around and walk away..
In the steps you take,
The way you look at me,
With so much fear in your eyes,
I understand where you stand..
Where you've been,
Where you'd die to be..
Right now where you are..
I understand..

The Silence And The Rain.

The shining of the stars,
Cracking of the wind,
As the clouds collide together,
The silence of nature,
With the pouring of the rain,
Falling like tears of an angel,
Seeped like the deeds of a devil,
Soaked by the ground,
Hiding the truth like a traitor,
Stabbed by the hypocrite..
Why're are these days so numb?
Being captured in the negetivity,
Bound to the darkness,
Where the light fades,
The sun sets for good..
Leaving the silence and the rain.

Ray after ray,
When the flowers smile,
And the clouds move away,
Giving way to the joy,
Between the sky and the horizon,
Where love meets evil,
Turning red to blue,
Tortured by the powerful few..
Where the world decides the day..
Where darkness covers the shine.
The sun rises, rising hopes for the day.
Betraying the silence and the rain..

Breaking Me Down.

After I lose you,
A few moments into the broken heart,
Living with breaths that don't feel real.
I'm putting it all together,
Trying so hard to breathe again,
In the morning when the world sleep,
I'm trying not to cry,
Until I see you smile,
In my memories,
In the picture we took,
Right next to me,
Your beautiful smile..
Breaking me down.

A little happier than before,
I walked into the room.
Letting the wind pull me through,
In the raindrops, I found life.
I found life, in the light of the street,
In the buzzing of the people,
Bringing me nearer,
See it in my face.
See me trying to breathe again,
Until I see you smile,
In my memories,
Pulling me through,
They're breaking me down.

Shiver.

Do you feel cold when I call your name?
I feel so lost when you're not here,
I'm calling your name and its colder here.
I try to feel it getting colder here,
In desperation of your presence,
I needed to feel you here,
I'm longing to feel colder again,
Do you feel cold when I call your name?

I feel shivers down my spine,
When you look at me and wink your eyes,
I can feel my world come together,
When you hold my hand, I feel alive.
I could let go off everything,
When you're here,
I wish you'd never leave,
So soft, so beautiful.
I let my heart go,
And I know its somewhere down with you,
Growing colder and I shiver.
I call your name, I shiver.
I can feel you here.

In Any War.

In any war,
There is the hint of peace,
In every mind when they take a hit,
In every action when they lose the love.
When the rain falls here,
You stop for the while,
This coolness heals your softer side..
Moving you to peace.
When you lose the one you love.

In any war,
You could always see them with love,
Maybe if you put aside your worries,
Just look at them one more time,
They're just like you,
With broken dreams,
Lost love, hurt, endangered and battered.
Just like you..
They're in this,
Just like you,
They're in this too.

Nothing Can Go Wrong.

I closed my eyes,
Walked towards the fire,
I'm trying to be that one,
I've wanted you to be looked after,
I hold your hand,
And look into your eyes,
Such fear, the pain..
The thought of losing me,
I can see how much you love me,
In the most beautiful eyes,
The most precious tears,
When you fall on my skin,
I promise you forever,
I hold your hand tight,
Look into your eyes,
I smile for you're here with me,
Nothing can go wrong,
When I look at you,
And you're scared for me.
This want to live,
This want to be yours,
More than now, more than forever.
I've you here,
Nothing can go wrong..

Maow

With her soft little noises,
Not a word she speaks,
The most innocent eyes every seen,
She sits there, never understood.
With the cries that mean so much,
Maybe they mean the world to her,
Without a word,
Just in her eyes,
She hides in the corner,
When you leave her behind,
With her eyes watering,
Such innocence never seen,
And when she comes to you,
Will you frown or love her more?
When she sits next to you,
Will you hold her till she sleeps,
Such innocence in her eyes,
Not a word she speak,
She understood you,
Maybe its time you understand her too...
Without a word,
Just in her eyes..

Addicted II

I tried not wanting you so much,
Not missing you so much to cry,
Every night when I count the stars,
Until you knock on my door,
I close my eyes and I can feel you here.
Like the last time you smelled of flowers,
Tonight you smell no different,
In my arms you feel no different.
Underneathe the shine of this moon,
You seem no different.
Why do you make me feel this,
You complete me,
With just your smile, you've done so much..
By just being yourself,
You've changed my life.

I remember when I couldn't confess,
When you looked at me,
With so much pain in my eyes,
I lowered my gaze until you pulled me close,
I remember being unable to breathe,
I just breathed your name,
You didn't ask why or when,
You just loved me too.
I memorized the feel of you,
And I can't get you out of my head..
Everytime you're near,
You complete me,
With just your smile, you make my heart melt.
By just being yourself,
You give me butterflies,
You've changed my life.

Addicted.

When you just wanted to matter,
I walked past every little window,
Every window jumping into success,
Every window that spells me fame,
I kneel down to the door behind your back,
I whisper, " You matter to me.. "
Leaving every trophy of life,
Leaving every dream left to follow,
When you just wanted to matter,
I walked to you, and you're all that matter.
You matter to me,
I'm addicted..
To your voice.
My life, with you.
I'm addicted to everything you are.

When you sit here close to me,
I can stare at the sun,
For hours I can count the stars,
I make them fall, I shine the moon.
I turn around the world,
When I hold your hand,
When you sit here close to me,
I'm addicted..
To your voice...
My life, with you.
I'm addicted to everything you are.

The other side

The sun burns down the ocean,
Taking up every tear shed,
When the sun shines the moon,
Beneath the stars, setting souls free.
Letting the hearts wander,
Somethings together, sometimes apart.
Wandering until the sun shines itself,
Every ray of light crashing a dream,
Every chirp of the birds opening the eyes,
Some sing when they fall,
Some cry through the night,

The rainbows appear around the smiles,
The clouds burst with the laughs of them,
Their destinations come closer,
And broken dreams lie there,
In pieces with no place to go,
With no light to shine by,
Shuned by the happiness,
The morning lets go off the sadness,
With no more hearts wandering,
With no more dreams left to shatter,
A new day,
To cover the distant,
To the other side,
The other side, where rainbows form.

Bruise.

All I remember is the pain I felt,
When I was dead and tired..
Sick of the weight on my back,
I remember saying goodbye,
Just for the while I closed my eyes,
I wished I'd see you soon,
And I forgot the world,
Until I could feel again..

I was standing at the edge,
Unable to walk, I waited for you..
I've seen love in your eyes,
Why was I alone here inside?
Why would make me walk to you?
Just to see you again,
I've walked to you,
When I couldn't take a step.

Why should I be that one?
Why should I take up all the lies?
In the darkness when I shiver,
Why should I be the one to cover?
I fall down again,
Just to bruise my hand,
I've walking towards you,
Just to bruise my heart.

In The End.

ve lost to myself,
To the way I think..
I'm losing to my thoughts once again.
I can feel the need of you,
I can see how it makes me weak,
You're so much but not here.
No word, absolutely no sign of you.
But you're here with me,
With me, I can feel my heartbeat,
And I know you're here.

In the end,
Theres more than memories..
More than tears say..
In the end,
Theres just too much to feel.
Too much to believe.

There are memories that tear me up,
Of the torn pages,
And the words in them,
Spelling out my name,
Written with so much love,
At the end,
At the end of the day,
My heart still beats,
You're here, somewhere..

In the end,
Theres more than memories..
More than tears say..
In the end,
Theres just too much to feel.
Too much to believe.

Others

Memories, they sting me,
When I'm so far away from you..
Dimming my eyes, slowing my heart..
Regretting every step leading me here..
We lost the love, I loved you the most..
You walked away and I'm never walking the same..
My strenght is where you'd speak..
Not here anymore. I've become weak..
My sense pierced by the scream around here..
In the dark with the light of the moon,
So fake.. Borrowed..
I'm falling out of the sky, live wishing on myself..
Wishing on a shooting star..
So fake.. Bothered..
Still here I sit, among millions of hearts..
With my heart broken... And pieces.
Pieces, nowhere to be found.

Colours of love.

Here's something I wish you feel,
I know you feel this,
Just feel it a little more.
Open up and let it all in,
Word after word, day after day..
With every little thought of mine,
I'm sharing every little intention..
I'm so in love,
I love you now..
Just love me too..
See how much I love you somehow..

I can carry you through years,
Watch you sleep and protect your beauty.
I will sit there, if it takes forever..
I'll hold your hand and soothe your heart,
Maybe whisper my love to you,
In pieces, between broken sleeps,
You'll see me when you open your eyes,
When you peak through your beautiful eyes..

Here's something I wish you realize,
Bottle up my love,
And If you can drink it all,
If you can ever take it all in,
It'll glow the oceans,
Water the deserts,
Shoot the stars and we'll walk in the sky..
Maybe dance in the rain until you feel this cold..
We'll paint the sky..
Until we're out of colours,
Colours of love.

With my love.

After every few blinks,
A few smiles that peak.
I put my hand to my heart,
Feel it beat your name,
I close my eyes and see you smiling at me.
I can fall a few floors when I hear your voice.
I just need a spark, just need this silence.
I'll let you know how I feel,
I start everyday, but I can never complete.
You pull me close, with your voice..
You say "So much" to everything that shivers me,
Breaks me down to tears that smile.
They grin and dance in the rain.
I've walked miles just to let you know,
How much I've loved your laugh..
How much I've felt when you hold my hand..
I don't feel like myself, when I'm gone away.

I'm pushing those clouds away,
If the rain keeps you from walking here,
I'll make the sun shine,
When the coldness make you shiver,
I'll cover you with my love.
When you need me, Wherever you need me,
Just give me time to tell you,
How much, just how freaking much,
You mean the world to me,
You've meant the world to me.
A little more than forever..

I've found you.

Every breath tonight,
Feels so true, still surreal.
I can feel your scent, moving through me..
I can feel your hand twitch when I move,
I feel you hold me tighter when I shiver,
It feels so strange, yet its so beautiful.
I can feel you holding me tight..making it right.

With my eyes closed, I can feel you move.
Moving closer and I know you're here.
The world's so bright, you're holding me tight.
I see nothing, just this darkness fading,
Coming true when you hold me tight..
Its so beautiful, everything.. so perfect.
Until I think of tomorrow,
My tears slip down,
I can feel your fingers on my cheeks,
Will you be here for tomorrow?
All the tears of my sorrow,
Will you hold me tight and make it right?

The feel of you,
I can feel your breath on my skin,
I'm so close to heaven,
I can smell the freshness of love.
The feel of you,
Like I'm in oblivion,
Come here, be me and feel this..
Feel the way my heart pounds,
When you're here, holding me tight.
I've found you,
Somewhere in my dark dreams..
I've found the feel of you,
Conforting me, like polishing my soul.

And I'm never letting you go,
Selfishly holding you nearer,
Keeping you here for me.
Forever, I've found you.

For Something You Never Wanted.

You're aiming at me,
With all your hate and anger.
Burning me down with every word you say..
I thought I was always on my knees,
You've bruised me to the bone..
Stabbing me for every move I make,
I burned the pages never yours,
I stood through it all,
Until you push me away,
For something I'd never do..
Until you hurt me for something..
Something you never wanted...

Why did you lead me here?
Shouting at me like I'm wrong..
Following every flaw like a ray,
You end when I have nothing..
I've drowned twice in the sea..
With every jab and poke of you..
I stood through it all..
Until you hurt me for something..
Something you never wanted...

Thoughts.

My thoughts,
They linger like a love song,
Taking up my energy,
Slowing me down,
They show me things, I'd never see,
I feel something I never felt..
I clear my head, when I try to cry..
I wish I was numb, atleast I'd be blank.
Running circles around the sadness..
Falling into this pit of darkness..
I hold myself together and I cry..
I feel every emotion explode, and I suffer..
Lingering on so much to every pin that pricks..
I've lost you in them..
I've been set on fire..
You've broken my heart,
And I've never seen you again..
Thoughts they slow me down..
When you hesitate I feel them act up..
When you're here but you're not here..
I feel them working on me..
I'm weaker with these thoughts..
I feel like I'm losing you everytime..
Everytime my heart beats louder..