Dear Life. Forgive me.

I can see right now,
But when I close my eyes, I forget.
I can see my shadows as I walk,
Scattered around this world,
From where I've been to what I've become,
Getting darker by the moment.
I can see and I've learnt.
But when I'm in your arms, I forget.
The reason for the tears I cry,
I don't know what these tears are for.
I'm unable to express but trust me,
I want you to know,
Some way to reason with my pain.
Someone to understand how it feels.
The screetching in my ears,
The constant howling in pain,
Echoing all around this place,
This place I forget, everytime I try to remember.
Darker than the night,
Rougher than the ocean,
Somewhere at the back of my mind,
This place haunt every waking thought.
Every moment I'm alone like a flash into my past.
For all the things I might've done,
Standing here infront of you,
I'd feel disgusted.
For all that we've been through,
I hold your hand, don't you feel mine are rough?
You've been through pain,
And I wouldn't say I've suffered more.
But I've suffered alone.
I've felt their cries down to my bone.
Until it grows cold like I used to be.
Now I cry, infront of the needy.
Now I cry for you, and for every pain you go through.
Is it an illusion? Or is it just me that feels this way?
Could this be true? Such amusement in your smile.
Like everything is bright again, perfect.
Like everything leaves me for you to hold.
Could it really be this perfect?
Or am I dreaming when in your arms?

I can feel right now,
But when I'm alone I forget.
What you do to me,
Is it love or it is care?
I wouldn't know anyway,
For when I sit here alone,
While the waves crash at me.
Standing still, unturned.
I stand here, forgetting it all.
Sometimes it feels like a bother,
Sometimes I wish you come to me,
Hold my hand,
Look at me.
Sometimes all I want you to do is care,
Just a little, just to make me feel love again.
Sometimes all it takes is your voice,
And if I don't find reasons to be close to you,
Will you still remember me?

At times I feel so broken,
Every smile hurts,
And when they laugh,
I feel like I'm dying inside.
Is it the constant weight on my back?
Is is your protests of my being?
Have I done my part wrong?
Have I missed listening to you again?
Is it that you're mad again?
Is it that you've no time for me again?
Until I crash and fall to pieces,
You stay, so far away.
Just watching me burn,
Playing with fire.
Is it what I've come to,
Thats breaking me down.
Is it the moment I want to,
Live, live while youre still around.

Tomorrow,
Tomorrow is a new story.
A horror, a darkness.
And the promises we make,
They'd make no sense.
And the promises we keep,
They'd be reminding us of yesterday.
Will you be here?
The next time that I cry.
Will you be here for me?
The next time I give up and fall down.
Won't you pick me up and brush me off?
Won't you make me smile and make me laugh?
You WILL feel my pain, won't you?

I'd say so much and I'd forget.
If I make promises, trust me I mean to keep them.
If I ever go and hurt you, trust me I would have never meant to.
Forgive me, I'm only human,
Forgive me, if I'm not up there.
Forgive me if you've felt more pain,
And kept it within, suffering alone,
But I cannot,
For the times I hurt you, unintentionally,
For the times I'm not what you want me to be,
For the times you look at me, and I shatter your dream.
For everything I've ever failed to do,
You will forgive me, won't you?