Lost pages of 2010 #11

I wrote a note today.
I think it had your name, call it a letter.
Wrote everything I believe was good in you,
I believed. I witnessed.
I folded it away. I kept it with me for a while.
Read it aloud to myself when alone.
Read it so many time, the page looks a century old.
There are watermarks almost everywhere.
I'm guessing those are my tears.
Folding it for the last time.
One last read. Check.
One final look. Check.
Grabbed a match stick, burned it down. Check.
Was thinking to myself, why read about you
When I can't have or see you.
Whenever I wish, whenever I will.
Can't talk or sit, with you, someplace.
Quite. Peaceful. Lovely.
Why not?
Cause everything in life has a drawback.
You never get what you want.
Well not usually, I bow to your frienship.
I know deep down my heart, I'll never be over you.
I'll never see you again, I can never hate you.
I. Hate. This.
Things aren't usually the way you want them.
If they are for you, I say make no mistake in living the moment.
Bad time lingers. Bad times leave mark.
Whether a broken heart, or a broken hand,
A would or a gash.
From infinite to the point where our pain starts, unbalanced and uncoached.
Not prepared for this rough bumpy road.
Yet life gives you no seat belts.
Falling off is death.
Holding on is hope.
Closing your eyes and facing the facts is courage and sheer stupidity.
Never works. Never will. Never has.
A stupid note got me thinking, well I won't call it stupid anymore,
It got me thinking how someone might not have done anything for you,
But you still owe them a lot.
Owe them moments of happiness in times of cry.
You owe them sloppy smiles played, alone inside your room.
Little do they know that its their thoughts that shine our eyes.
Like a thousand rubies?
A note got me thinking how, someone could possibly wish for a task manager,
In the context of your heart or an 'Alt + F4' function maybe?
For forgetting is hard, dehydrates your body... All that crying.
 Not good for your health, you know?
Lifes bad right now, well no one asked.
Who cares? I share my word with no one anyways.
Don't. Let. Good. Times. Go. Away...
Think twice before you do something regarding your pumping organ.
Hurts and sucks.