Failure lost in the crowd.

I'm a failure lost in the crowd.
I walk aimlessly, through the crowds and alone.
I watch you fade away, i never follow.
I complain, for my life's stuck at a loop,
To the down's, forget the up's.
I was late, failed to express.
My love for you melted away, for you walked away, not alone.
I'm nothing when you measure,
For i'm a failure lost in the crowd.
I try to hide em, but the tears slip away.
I'm not as strong as i show.
I'm not the one to fake a smile and pull myself together.
I've tried to believe in destiny, but when nothings right, isn't karma to blame?
I complain, my emotions don't do justice to what i want to feel, against you.
I can not point a finger.
I tried ignoring, didn't work out, although here i was thinking i was supposed to be the failure lost in the crowd.
I'm never the one they watch and smile.
I walk alone, shove my hands in my pockets.
I experience the silence of the world.
Feels surreal.
The local DJ bangs on my ears.
I walk on and on never questioning my sanity.
I think on and on of the blames you put on me.
I'm blamed for things you control.
Here i am, hoping and wishing for my last breath.
You keep pulling me off, shine me the spotlight.
I'm a failure lost in the crowd, no wonder you hear me say,
" AGAIN? I'm to blame? What did i do now? THIS.IS.INSANE. "