All These Years..

After all these years, Now that i look at you,
All the times you held your head high smiling.
How the past was as beautiful as a multicoloured butterfly,
Now we're left on the verge of tears, miles apart.
I go through the same memory lane at every blink of an eye,
The tear that slips recalling every good memory.
Reaching out for you, screaming out loud,
I'm here looking for some sort of recognition.
Some of the things i regret, Mostly done out of frustration.
Pulling through all these storms and disasters.
Its like you don't see me when i'm looking at you,
Staring into your eyes, It makes mine tingle.
How have you created this defence mechanism?
Everytime i look at you, after all that we went through,
Together all the things we've talked about,
Its like you don't even feel what i'm feeling right now,
I've missed you so much through all these years,
Did you?After the pathetic phase where i tried to forget,
I've come to agree with the fact that i'm not forgetting you.
Its not a button i could just press and get it over with,
Nor is it like pulling the plug.
Its the little things i did that've made me this,
Listening to your favourite song,
Watching your favourite movie, over and over.
Sitting up all night, staring at the stars.
The one and only one shining would always be you.
You're just like a dream,One day i'll wake up and find it real.
After all these years breathing your name.
I think i need you.

Be Mine?

Like a butterfly in the crowd, You emerged leaving me dazed.
With you charm and smiles, You drew me towards you.
I've alot to do now, Alot to carve and present,
Presenting myself to you with a charming personality,
Trying to prove myself for all that i carry,
Leave you with no reason to complain.
Look at me, I'm an absolute gentleman.
I got you flowers and your favourite chocolate,
If i could just hold your hand and tell you you're beautiful.
Maybe you would want me too,
I'd never let you feel lonely,
Give you your space and praise your personality.
I'd shine my light upon you like a guardian angel.
You'll be my angel, I'll be your guardian angel.
My love for you increases by the second,
Heres a different way to depict my feeling,
I'll hold your hand tight, Take you on a walk,
Laughed at the pinch of ice cream on your nose.
Look there, right there...You see that star thats shining?
A part of this constellation, Its called love.
This shining star named after you, Dedicated to you.
Now i've swore to take care of you, forever.
This nights getting chilly, Here take my coat.
She smiled and hugged me tight,
I hugged you tighter not letting you go.
This is the moment that i've waited for.
Here i drop on my knees, take your hand.
Brush my lips to your fingers,
"The day saw you for the first time, Your smile,
It was like you left me with nothing to say,
Let me speechless. This is me, hoping you don't turn away now..
I swore i'll never leave your side, never let you cry.
I dedicate everything that belongs to me to you...
Will you be mine?
"

Fears.

Lets plan a trip together, Pack your bags we're flyin'.
Come with me, take my hand, Feel my heartbeat racing.
We'll just drive to anywhere and everywhere, unplanned.
The things we could do, break all the rules, lets get banned.

All you gotta do is nod and pack your bag.
We'll fly to a country with an unknown flag.
I'll make you feel special, You'll be my star,
I'd pick up stars from the sky, Make you mine, Never let you far.

Keep all the promises i make, Sit up with me, Lets talk about you,
Lets sit under the stars stare at em, I'd love to get to know you.
The look in your eyes, Why can't you be mine?
The way we've talked, Feels like i've known you for a long time.

I fear you'll disappear one day, Leaving me with these gazing stars,
Staring at me, Telling me how i was late in letting you heal my scars.
Juggling my fears, I've to let you know and never let you go.
This task at hand leaves me with " WHAT DO I DO? "

Not What I Want.

Can't we just sit and share a few smiles,
Talk about everything and anything.
She could just kill me as she said,
No love, Lifes not that simple.
No matter how you do it, no matter how right you are,
Its never what you want, No satisfaction...

Once again, here i am.
Wanting something else, Nothing's ever enough.
Nothing feels right, Nothing's ever enough.

Travelled to the top of your mountain,
Wrote your name up in the sky,
You're still not satisfied,
You never felt this.

Once again, here i am.
Wanting something else,
Nothing's ever enough.
Nothing feels right, Nothing's ever enough..

Now i shut my eyes,
Expecting nothing, i'm living through it all.
Regretting nothing, I have everything,
Its a mind game, Cuz you decide your satisfaction..
She comes running, love in her eyes she says,
"Be mine?"


Once again, here i am.
Wanting something else, Nothing's ever enough.
Nothing feels right, Nothing's ever enough..

Up In The Sky

This is probably the last time that i ever write about you again
,Taking up all this energy, from the last time i was here.
Up in the air, the first time i thought and wrote,
All i had for you, jotted it down in a piece of paper.
Now i'm here again, going back to you...
Without any expectations, Not even of a sight or a hello.
With my head held up i'll be reaching out to you,
Once maybe..This is the last time i'll write about you.

Up in the sky, just one more time.
Maybe just one last time..

I'm the kind who waits months,
Then days, To express myself i've failed at quite alot of times.
This recklessness that i find myself dealing with when i'm dealing with you.
You stole half the capacity of my thinking.
Filled with thoughts of you, I've lived smiling everyday.
Crying everyday.

Up in the sky, just one more time
.Maybe just one last time..

Without any regrets i'd let you know,
About the nights i stayed up, the struggled i've faced.
All of it, mostly just to spend time in your presence.
Maybe we'll be under the same roof again.
Maybe we'll share a few smiles again,

Up in the sky, just one more time.
Maybe just one last time...

Butterfly Effect.

Alright everyone, clear your mind.
I'm about to express something one of a kind.
A mix of emotions,
Stuck to these confusions.
Wasted my time on these illusions.
How you disappear, making me believe they're delusions.
Miles and miles, following your shadows, i travelled.
Tracing back my footsteps, The path unravelled.
Lost and lonely, filling spaces with the smiles.
I sit here, all day counting the number of tiles.
Looking at the end of the road, waiting for you.
Waiting for the clock to finally strike two.
Now that i'm waiting here a part of me,
Wants you to never come back, just don't want you to see,
What you've made me, How i've turned out to be.
A part of me that keeps dreaming, Its funny.
How you don't care and i'm here writing this, venting.
After all that i tried, all that i did, still breathing.
Still waiting for the day you'll be mine,
But i looked around, you're not in line.
Apart from the tiles, I've a book i'll one day,
Read to you and look at you, let you lead the way.
In this journey that we'll begin, One day.
Maybe just one day..Like i dream of hearing you say,
Those words, The cause a stir, a brain freeze. A beautiful effect.
Just like the butterfly effect, perfect.
Hold on people, its just the drea, now the smiles fade,
Affected by the darker half of this jade.
Proudly hanging on with a vision, blurry but hopeful.
But i never wanted to see the sun anymore, hurtful.
Your words, i'd frame them to remember the cause of this,
The fact that i've now given up, letting it all out of my system, Killing the bliss.

Maybe its a poor judged road.
I'm a silly boy mislead to the darker edges,
Thrown. Now free falling.
I'm smiling, You killed me.

Overwhelmed.

I've had a life, Wasn't a blackboard but I've wished it was,
My whole entire journey, I've searched a duster,
Just to erase all the bad elements, the disturbing memories.
They called me psychotic.
Through the oceans that I swam, I stopped.
This beauty struck to my eyes,
Hurting my conscience, feeling bad.
Falling down, right now I'm drowning.
This ocean of mixed emotions, leading me nowhere.
Just another place i'd wish to be right now,
Soft and sweet, the cold wind on this heat.
The beautiful colour of the flower,
The smell now fading away.
Just as the seasons change, everything changes.
Its a whole new aura. All around a new envronment to fit into.
A new beginning, history embedded to the back to my mind.
Just a rewind the list of things i'd re-do.
A ragged paper, almost torn.
Seen the bad, desperate for the feeling of belonging.
Belonging to a place, belonging to something...someone.
Overwhelmed, unable to manage, burdened with these responsibilities.
Life's not fair, some hardly care.
Freshness is always on the other side,
I made it point to go with the flow,
No complaining, not a look of burden.
I wake up with broken body, falling apart.
Make it through the day, Reviving is the word.
Almost back to myself by the end,
Another day, another snap of fingers.
The morning sun, Dead and gone.
I had this charm, too short of expiration date.
My world changes shape, It are the meds?
All written and done, don't we all need something to blame in the end?

The Bad Word.

They say love is just another word.
Measure it up, Makes you high.
A contagious verb, a drug overdosed by two.
Its plain bullshit to some, some just make it true.

But its bad, yeah its bad.
Love is bad bad word.
A reason to cry, a reason to smile.
Its a two faced bad word.

The day you sat under the tree,
Opened up to nature, thats love.
You were all alone, felt loved.
Not so bad after all.

But its bad, yeah its bad,
Love is a bad bad word.
A reason to cry, a reason to smile.
Its a two faced bad word.

Now, don't cry. Please don't.
These tears, they dry away.
Don't worry, this is conditional. Shut your heart up.
Its a side effect, you OD'd on shit.

You flipped the coin,
The coin lied.
Happy for a while, now you cried.
Cuz love. Yeah love, love is a bad bad word.

Let You Know.

Whatelse would you need?  
Whatelse do you need?  
Here i am, ready to do.  
Anything for you, anything at all.     

 Feels like years have gone by, 
I'm getting to know you. 
I'm trying to let you know how i feel. 
Just another way to redefine surreal.    

Feels like i'm been standing here for months,
Gazing into your soft brown eyes,
Keeping my distance, taking it slow.
Standing here, i'm letting you know.

Whatelse would you need?  
Whatelse do you need?  
Here i am, ready to do.  
Anything for you, anything at all.     

The winters now gone, nowhere in the horizon. 
Seasons changed, my love stuck through it. 
You've changed, my feelings still stick to you. 
This is me, letting you know.   

I love you then, i love you know. 
Tried to let you know, somehow.
Anyhow.  Forget the past, I'm here tonight. 
Look into my eyes, Do you love me?    

Whatelse would you need?  
Whatelse do you need?  
Here i am, ready to do.  
Anything for you, anything at all.

Never Ending Conversation.

Hold on, Why're you running away?Got a minute?
Trying to a start a conversation here.
Thats how it happened back then, you turned away.
Said there was nothing that you wanted to hear.

Those days, Memories that made me wince in pain.
Thoughts of Summer and riding a white horse.
Almost unreachable, left here with alot of rain.
Feels like the winter now sticks, a new course.

Love you the right way,
Left here with my feelings that i write.
Sorry for what i went through, no way.
This might lead to a never ending fight.

Chances of ending this now,
This trip down misery lane.
So much to tell, but i'm a cow.
Half of me dead, other half, insane.

Could write a book to you.
Tell you about my perspective.
This love story based on me and you.
Its our suffering described, collective.

For the horrible things you said i did,
An apology, written out of my blood.
You threw the car away, my note under the lid.
Unseen, now i'm on a passenger seat, hiding in my hood.

Give me all those looks that make me do backflips.
Make me feel so horrible, Its a pain never ending.
Wherever we go, The ring is at my tips.
Say yes and forever. We'll have our happy ending.

Risk. I'm Yours.

Never knew it'd be this painful,
Lost you again, lost my guard.
The last time i felt this pain, you blinked.
Those two seconds between your 'Yes' and my 'Omg'.
What i have in mind, What i could give you.
Stay up all night, watch you sleep.
Try my best at breakfast.
Fear creeping into my mind, Wanna go back to the time,
The time i was 10, cried at that scratch.
Years later, Scratches don't bother me, I still cry.
Cry for you this time. This time more for you.
You had me holding my breath, I'd stick to that moment.
Hanging again.
Just freezing this world, I take a round,
Right around the world. Think it all through.
Don't i deserve you?
Am i losing it? Losing you? This battle.
I took all my chances, ignored all the risks.
Put it all up on, Gambling on you.
Its just One, Two, Three. Now i'm down there.
Or up here. Infront of you?
Shining that diamond ring. A hopeful smile.
" Hey you, Be mine. I love you. Okay? "
Would i actually do that, after all the risks i take.
Why leave one. I'm game.
You are my heaven on earth.
Be mine, right now. Right through after life.
You can give me all i want. I'll love you forever.
Baby, Its simple. Just knock me out.
I'm yours forever.

Fate

Falling for you, deep.
I breathe as i picture the perfection.
Its 2 in the morning, I'm just lying there.
Theres a grin on my face, A pillow held tightly.
An emotion building up, almost caressed with all my conciousness.
Imagining all the things done, could be done. Different contexts.
Got lots of time now. Thank you Insomnia.
You made me this, I'm better at expression.
From a low life to this life.
Is this life?
Staying home, sitting there, just one place.
Staring into space, As my heart grows heavier.
The emotions that keep bundling upon.
Overwhelmed with such pleasure,
The thought of being loved.
Perfect how it sounds, Just to hold you hand,
Lead you down those stairs..."I Do". Forever.
Thinking about the life i had, things gotta change.
The old me, now dead and gone.
Just another look on her face, where is my book of notes?
Could this be a note book too? With hearts and initials?
Could write this book on the things i've planned,
For you and me, from the trip all the way to Timbuckto,
To this bonding we form, over the time.
Letting you in, letting me in.
Hard to believe what it feels like,
Hard to express. Almost as if words are not enough.
Lend my vision, watch my dream.
Like it or leave it.
Be careful to what you choose.
Its something called fate.
Sorry forgot to ask, Do you believe in fate?

April.

An Inspiration. Taylor Swift - Back To December. This song felt real, made me cry. Stuff like that.



I remember my april.
Carefree as ever, the responsibilities.
You pulling me through it all.
All those burdens on my shoulders.
The love we shared, numbing the pain.
How i just whined and you smiled.
I would sit all night, think about you.
Let the strings of my guitar lead my emotions.
Glad to have you in my mind.
Never letting you out, i pull another string.
Careless as ever, the blood drips down.
The last time i felt this pain, out of reach.
Now i'm sleepless, thoughtless. Losing you.
The pain back, bringing me to conciousness.
Now the reality intruded, Not april anymore.
Months away, feeling this pain.
Just one chance to apologize, just a conversation.
Make my October, the April i had.
Its a snap of your fingers,
I'm choking on my regrets, regretting the words.
Realizing all that we could have been,
Just another reason i'm sleepless, thoughtless.Losing you.
Rereading the conversations we had, bookmarked that chatlog.
Its a day started, your "hi" makes me high.
How i'd melt at your ups and downs.
Worried at every late reply.
Never letting the questions out of my mind.
Turning over, tossing and turning, I spent my nights with you.
Feeling complete, I was careless.
You were most cared for.
Its like i'd blink and replay the entire month.
Over and over, tear for a blink.
Perfect to feel, never feels true.
How i could just sit and listen,
Realizing my weak spot for you.
My everything you were,
This is me, remembering everything.
Wondering where i was wrong,
Crying here, trying to make it right.
Just one conversation.
An apology.Give me my April.

This City.

This city, My home.
Quiet at night, yet chaotic.
The memories these roads hold.
With the tinting of the sky,
The smoke from the pollution, the fragnance.
The same rushing, the honking.
The buses and the taxi stands,
A scenary in itself.
Its rains when this city smiles,
Pouring the emotions held back,
The shine of the pavements afterwards.
The search for a shelter, letting it vent.
The smiles from the stangers.
Unknown still pretty friendly.
Just a blink, losing all sync with the surrounding.
Walk upon the clouds, watch this shining city.
Incomplete at night, the empty roads.
Emptiness spread, the heart still beats.
Catching up with the air,
Its the people that complete this gem.
This city my home.

Not so far.

Here i am, Sitting on the rooftop.
Gazing at the stars, watching them fall off like snow.
Letting the reality intrude with the blink of an eye.
You face i picturize, with a smile on my face.
Another tear slips away, longing to reach out.
Feeling the need of your presence my eyes revolt.
My thoughts turn dark, my love swells.
Remembering all the times we talked.
Just sat there, talked and talked.
The time i brushed my finger to that scar.
No one'll ever hurt, you'll never be far.
Thinking about the promises to keep.
Impossible now. Here alone, sitting at a rooftop.
I'm complaining now, i'm complaining again.
Heres a question. Where did i go wrong?
Never delivered, why seek an answer?
Nothing makes sense, neither the stars nor the snow.
Nothing feels true, not even my 'I love you'.
Felt betrayed again, felt the horrible pain of letting go.
I just did that, thought i'd let you know.
This is the last time i'll call upon to you.
The last time my lips depart the wish.
One chance to see you again, one star for one wish.
My wish to make it clear, make it happen.
My wish to see through all of it,
Just once again, another shooting star, leaves me dazed.
Running out of time, unable to decide.
Another night wasted, seeking shooting stars.
Well, what can you do?
Tomorrow is not so far, not so far.

We shall.

Getting older by the day,
Never felt like putting happiness on a tray,
Held your hand, on the grass we lay.
Had so many things to, but none did i say.
Sieze a moment, look my way.
With that smile "Take me away",
Whispered, effective when put that way.
Picked her up, to our tone we sway,
Now we're here, we're together, stay.

Never letting you out of my mind,
This gem i found, as i mined.
Your beauty shines, Perfection redefined.
All your hate, all those tears, Let em behind.

Time intrudes, feel this beautiful afternoon,
Sit and stare at the pale silver moon.
Shining upon your eyes, pretty and maroon.
Its time to part, for now it feels so soon.

I was alone, walking home, thinking about it all.
Thinking how the seasons change, through summer now the fall.
Another scenario, a first kiss. " Lets go to the ball?"
Cracking my knuckles, nervous. "Shall we?" "We shall".

Random Saadist Thoughts.

• When there was nothing that caught my attention, i just picked up a pen and scribbled up my pain. #saadistthoughts
• Thinking too much, gives you nightmares, or nervousness. Lmao #saadistthoughts.
•   Its funny to watch the world runaway like a pack of rats when it starts raining. I'm the one regardless of my surrounding. #saadistthoughts
• When there is nothing you wanna do, start from being #thankful. You'll probably end up at success. #saadistthoughts
• My life's 15th year seemed to be the most short lived. Didn't i just celebrate a while back? Why again?
• Keeping up with technology is way to difficult #saadistthoughts
• Isn't really important how much you spend, its your cause that counts #saadistthoughts
•  When youre in rush and without much time to do lots of things, you panic. And then value time. #saadistthoughts
• Scenarios rises hope, hope destroys life. #saadistthoughts you probably think differently. But my view is very deep.
• Some people are so insecure to cool. Its like they look for cool things just to be cool. Be your self man! #saadistthoughts
• Success, name and getting recognised ends and if you end up not liking what you've become. Youre in trouble. #saadistthoughts
• I'm a hypocrite to have tweeted my goodnight a good 10 minutes ago and you see 20 tweets after that. What are the odds #saadistthoughts
• Plan all you want, as much as you want. But if you waste your time doing nothing after alot of planning. You suck! :) #saadistthoughts
• Never be unthankful, specially to the way of your lifestyle. Its what you make it out of yourself. Not God given. #saadistthoughts
• To want to live is to cheat life. To not be afraid of death is to defeat life. #saadistthoughts
• Thought of the day - A plan stay and carries on being a plan unless, acted upon, executed, maintained and enjoyed. #saadistthoughts
•  What could possibly be more annoying that a bakery next to your house during the month of Ramadan? #saadistthoughts
• Whats the main thing you look for? Is it Perfection, Reliability or Quantity? Hit me back. #saadistthoughts
• I was given a choice to either have a good memory or friends like you, i don't remember what i choose. #saadistthoughts             
• When theres nothing that seems to grab your attention. Get a mirror and notice how your face looks. #saadistthoughts. You'll be surprised.   
• The morning sun and the chirping sounds is the closest to nature you can get to, lazing at home. :) #saadistthoughts
• When the morning comes, reality intrudes and dreams fade away. #saadistthoughts
• The thought of actually sitting and reading a book unless its all over the media escapes my wits. I'm not a bookworm #saadistthoughts
• Stare into the light, strain your eyes. Let the tears fall off and then you regret being stupid. #saadistthoughts
• Today is all about planning tomorrow while regretting yesterday. Cmon crazies!! Live a little!!! #saadistthoughts
• Times we wished life had a remote. We didn't think of the batteries did we? #saadistthoughts
• When theres nothing you're doing. There are probably a million thing that youre thinking. Well i know i do. #saadistthoughts

Comments?        

Nature made me smile.

With nothing left to do, today i'm thinking about you.
Sitting here next to the dew, moment like these enjoyed very few.
Nature made me smile today, you stole my smiles yesterday.
Another flower petal with the air, another torn paper, 'Life is unfair'.
Are you the one who goes through everything?
I'm acting as if i'm bothered by nothing.
Sitting under a wooden tree, Like a bird, its 3, i feel free.
Reach out to a butterfly, colourful. Ignoring all their words, hurtful.
Describing right now is impossible.
This happiness i feel is unimaginable.
Picture perfect, perfect to feel.
Tears of love, heard they heal.
Times goes on, waiting for the sunlight.
I'm sitting there, letting it in without a fight.
Eyes shut thinking for a while,
Heres my summary, Nature made me smile.

This Bridge.

This bridge, its long. Theres fog tonight, i try to find you.
Forgot my search light, my eyes don't rest.
The bridge that connects us, the dead look of the water below. The rushing of the water, read.
Every brick of this bridge, like bricks we put together to built the bridge between us,
From getting to know you to 'I love you'.
From the strange 'Are you talking to me?' to the smile you reward me with.
From strangers to lovers, now back again.
This is new. Its not shying away, more like ignoring.
These pages i write to you, left by the river the other day.
Was there on a walk, saw some burned pages.
Those days i spent waiting by the bridge.
Has our bridge burned?
Why was everything so dark?
Ran a finger through the wound, just dry pain.
All those days staring at my cellphone, the networks 4 out of 5, its not satisfying.
Why aren't you calling?
I need no apologies, but i do have a bit of respect.
I've been ignored, i'm being ignored.
Give me a reason, where did i go wrong?
Ask me anything, you know i love you.
Rectify this misunderstanding, where are you?

Blink, Breathe.

Blink, blink. Breathe in, breathe out.
Look up, give in. Reach out.
Sink into my eyes.
Fill it up, reach the skies.
This step we've taken.
Together, its not mistaken.
Coming around to the smiles of two.
Share the love, done by very few.
Sit on that coach, gimme your hand.
Hold tight, don't let it flow like sand.
Dropping eyes, now i lay in your arms.
Waking up to your love, lovely charms.
Sinking deeper an deeper, nice and slow.
I love you my angel, the way you glow.
The feel of your touch and the sound of your voice.
The look in your eyes, the beautiful turquoise.
You filled my empty space, with your wings.
Now i fly as high, this love song nobody sings.
From me to you, this love is true.
Youre my princess, adorable. No matter what we go through.
To read between the lines, and see through this silence.
Its the other way round, i screwed your conscience.
When its 2 in the night, we walk.
Muteness of the world, we talk.
Filling the silence with your chime.
Thank god, alot. Now that youre mine.
Blink blink, breathe in, breathe out.
I was a loner yesterday. You changed my world, you are my world.

My first poem. No More Wishing.

Taking you away from me this world is... Miles away is where i am... But distance is distance... Doesn't change what i have in my heart for you... Doesnt matter if you dont love me, adore me the way i do.. Doesnt matter if i am not your wakimg thought. Doesn't matter at all cuz i believe that great thinks happen in the blink of an eye. I'll wait. I'll wait for you are my sumshine my gleaming moonlight, for you are the reason of the foolish smile i wear when alone. Be me for a day. Feel what i feel for you waiting here in my internal misery wondering when you would finally admit. Finally admire. Finally make my dreams come true. No more wishing. No more wishes. No broken promises. No broken hearts.

Higher.

Hurt me again, Pull it all the way,
Its entertainment, Things they say,
The things they print, you read.
Not true, not a word i said.
Sufficed to freak out, leave it behind
.Its all in there only if you try to find.
Another beam of light and the beep of the machine.
Copies of the lies now switching to caffine.
Been up all night, since the past 3 nights.
Waited for your mail, to drop, my eye fights.
Look through a glass, a fresher now tamed,
Rings a bell?For you, he's framed.
Fell for the wrong kind, At the wrong time.
The situation is messy, loved you, its a crime.
This darkness that formed over time, screams pain.
It says, No rainbow without a little rain,
Do it my way, think it through the other way round,
I could enter your heart, tip toeing without making a sound.
Feeling likes a cold stone,
Unable to predict my steps, My love, My throne.
All of it fading, shining in bits.
They called it emoness, generated some serious hits.
Falling and tumbling, i'm not hopeless, just stuck to you.
Bleeding and crying, i'm not pathetic, just in love with you.
Could you atleast bother to say 'hey',
Here i am, toyed with, my world just turned 'grey'.
What keeps me alive is the freshness of my love.
Wish to depart one day, stalk you from up above.

This Guy.

Just a guy, nothing special.
Another bloke with a sensitive heart and pure love.
He fells rejected, lonely.
After all he has done, to prove his emotion.
Drank up all the bottled pain, barely kept himself together.
He is ready for you but you're undecisive of your decision.
He stands there with a flower and a note.
Looks upon the sky wondering if he's the only one, with all the stupidness.
Bearing all the rejection, all the shit he goes through.
Wondering as he looks at a shooting star, is he the only one stuck in love, unable to move on.
He grabs his coat, walks out.
Its the same story, the sip of the same coffee.
Its another day, different day, yet the same old story.
He runs to vent. He walks to think.
Itsa what he does, just another bloke, messed up.
Happy away from the shining light, in the darkness.
Better alone than company pain.
Picks the petals of her doormat the next day.
Replacing with the fresh ones.
Its a different day, the same old story.
This guy has no attitude, no care in the world.
Chooses between a lily and a rose, ends up with the thorns instead.
His feelings he hides, just for her he saves his smiles.
He's waiting for a perfect memory, to make one.
To live it, to speak out and to love her.
To love her, he risks it all.
Tells her everything, grab some popcorn, lay back,watch his downfall.

Moment.

I love you, there is nothing more to say.
Its true, non profit. I need nothing from you.
A bit of recognition of my presence could be a blessing.
A smile every once in a while spells perfection.
Lost the hopes for a beautiful future.
The dreams of being yours forever.
Dreams i no longer dream of fulfilling.
Us is nothing. You and me are not possible.
Too many fingers ready to point. Alot of attention to dodge.
Most of it bothering, i can tolerate it all. A compliment of my love, youre never going through that.
Not again.
My care is unimaginable.
I don't like to brag but its true.
A coat of softness when i look at you,
A pray to look after, an angel sent upon.
The way i love you is softer than that silk. The truth after the truth serum.
Deeper than the ocean yet transparent as the water.
Time changes the calender, changes nothing but the dates and seasons.
Through them all, i've stayed loyal.
Loyal to this emotion, rigid and on place.
Unlike the dew that fades and the ice that melts.
Loving you, something i perfected over the time i struggled.
Lets start taking steps, make it into something special. I'm blessed to have this chance with you.
This shot, this oppurtunity.
A blessing i'm undeserving of, yet selfish to the need of you.
I seize this moment, dedicate it to you.
Here is another moment when i say, 'I LOVE YOU!'

He. She.

'Hey'. The perfect voice greeting with the perfect smile.
'Hi.' The prince hesitating, bowing to the love of his life.
Rushes and picks her up, circling next to the fountain.
She adorable, dipped her feet in the water, now looks with those mischievious eyes.
The love he feels, he could die for her, kill to make her happy.
The way she feels, he is her angel, her one and her only.
The one that keeps her safe, makes her smile.
He sighs and she melts at their embrace.
She glides, behind him as he leads her away.
Stealing glances they reach the top, this tower.
The place they met. Where their love intertwined.
When the only thing he saw was her, she had nothing to think about but him.
He watched her sleep, she dreamed of him.
Its just them and this dream they live.
Barely speak but they're in love.
Whats a language next to love?

Breathless.

I held my breath, confused to that look you gave. 
Heard muffled sounds, cleared it all with that smiles you part. 
Standing right there, you pull me to you. 
Like a magnet this distant keeps decreases. 
Let you rest your head on my shoulders, brush the palm of your hand. 
Trace your nails and feel the rythm of your heartbeat. 
The love your eyes emit, the glowing brown with those pink pink cheeks. 
I'd kill my sleep to watch you like this,
Pretty. Beautiful. Peaceful. 
The word escapes me but i'll settle with adorable. 
I'm trying to give you my best, still undeserving to the love we share. 
Its like my job, the fresh flowers and coffee by the day. 
Rub your forehead, making those creases of worry disappear. 
Your elegance and maturity leaves me dazzed. 
Your cute teeth and wrinkles on your nose. 
Just to be yours, forever. I'd give it all away. 
Just so you know, for your beauty i'm left with nothing to say. 
Again, the word escapes me but i'm speechless. 

Cuz baby you leave me breathless. 

Real but not true.

Never letting you go, never out of my mind.
This love, it'll show, all the things you never find.
The care, from the look in her eye to the lingering handshake,
The love, ready to risk anything, putting it all on stake.
The bullet i'll take for you, just put me to test,
Is it worth all the pain, put your thoughts to rest.
Set out to find the fit to this glass slipper,
Matching it to this beautiful angel,
Lets make this last forever, look deep into my eyes,
Couldn't make it clearer, I love you,
This is my last confession, one beautiful confession.
Beautiful to me, so are you.
Waiting to reveal the true, the special one.
Among all the others, gone with the dew.
Why does it have to be so complicated?
Well thats the way it is,
Somethings never meant to be,Some just waiting to be set free.
Another circle of life, revolving around these emotions.
Experiencing the loss of closeness, drifting away.
Into the wild with all this negitivity, its like an explosion.
Its bright but it fades away,
Its real but still not true.

Crappy Ways.

Shit i deal with.
All the time.
Its in my head.
Keeps going around.
Like a merry go round.
Like a paranoid mom.
Waiting in her daughters dorm.
Never letting the question out of her mind.
Is it drugs or guys?
Finally came time for eyes lids to drop.
Forever? Maybe.
Regretted ways of life? Probably.
Dead flowers by the grave.
Certain scent left to crave.
Questions left unanswered.
Days left unlived.
Life screwed majorly.
Blood lost pointlessly.
All said and done.
Done for what?
To live like a recluse or To daily visit the doc?
Lie down.
Deep breaths.
Asthamatic feeling surfaces.
Decomposing body.
Destroyed and Decayed hopes.
Squished dreams.
 
*!* SidMarauder *!*
31-May-2010. 3:38 am

Fairy from heartbreakland.

Her name i take. Everytime she, crosses my mind. Making me smile. Why do i shiver? How can i possibly be so close, so attached to her? Is it fear of loneliness? Is it longing of attention? Or is it love? I've dreamt about her in the night. Sat up and thought about her in dim light. Felt so incomplete without her... I almost cannot breathe. I almost cannot feel my skin as my finger trails my hand. Love make you crazy. It does after all. How does one dream? How does one let the imagination flow? How to make yourself see what you want, what you desire in your dreams? For i'm not dreaming. Is my reality better than my dreamland. Darn, must be love. A cold wave of air, has a hint of you. A drop of water for my thirst has a taste of you. Closed are my eyes, how come i can still see you? Someone calls me out loud, why do i have a feeling that its you? Theres a part of you in everything around me. Even silence feels like youre snoring slightly. Making me turn to find a peaceful princess with her head on cloud like pillows breathing evenly and the cooing of her breath, but i never did. Is my head playing games with my heart? Must wonder who the negetive character is. I'll hide myself in a closet and lock it forever. I cannot face you now, after everytime i've wanted to melt in your arms. I cannot face you. I don't have the strenght. Its not that i dont want too. I don't have the face to face something flawless as you, for my eyes are not worth this oppurtunity. While all i see and need is you. In my dream. In my life. In my heart. In my arms.

Jack And Jill.

Funny story, my classmate dared me to write something in a minute, we we're having out Physics period and it was annoying as hell. :) Here you go.

Tonight the sky is beautiful.
Pink, Purple, oh so colourful.
Let us break this thin line.
Say your 'hi's I'll say my 'hello's
Ask you out. "how about a lemon jello?"
You smile, I shine.
I know that look.
My hands you took.
Jack met jill.
That blush could kill.
This bonding lets seal.
Perfect it was to feel.
But then i heard a scream.
Woke up, and now its a dream.

Tears Of Blood.

Its just another day for you. Its just another lie. A beautiful lie. It turned my world upside down. It cut my heart into pieces. A painful lie. I made myself believe you loved me, you made me believe those words were true. You faked a smile and never felt bad. I felt your hesitation, it never felt right. As i look at the mirror i see, a scary image of me. Eyes red, dark circles with hanging under eyes. Blistered lips and a gash on my forehead. Its a bang on the wall. A fist to the wall. I remembered you say ' I didn't really love you ' tears of blood colour my cheeks. A shoulder that dissappeared around the corner. A held hand that turned to smoke. I feel choked and nauseus. This is what you left me with. This suffering, you left me for. This pain like an eyelid tore. A knife with blood dripping to the floor and a face unknown, never like before. Didn't you feel bad? Did you even think of what you did to me? Did i even tell you what i felt like? And yet you ask me if i'll ever love her more. Did you feel ashamed of yourself. Freshening my wounds and stabbing a new knife. I've done that alot already, cant you please just go away. Dont make me cry no more. One last goodbye forever more. One last touch to feel. One last heart to heal. You'll never be forgiven for what you did to me. Palpatations i get, and i barely breath. Take my breath away, dont bring me to life. Slit my wrists off, and then you can just piss off.

What I feel, Its something real.

I. Me. The person actually referred to in this piece of articulation is a person who would die. Die... to make your day. Die to make you smile. Die for anything you wish for. Let it be a small lollipop. Let it be a bookmark of some sort. I of all people , right now, at this moment can say..'i love you' for the umpteen number of times you want me too. All i need all day is your presence and my blissful journey begins. You make me happy. You make me smile. You make me laugh. I wonder what i miss out on. I wish to see what you want me to be. So i can gratefully thank my vision or picture or the advise , on what to be. For you. For ever. Yours only faithful lover. Be mine. Accept my love. Accept my presense. Accept my care. The way i'll brush your cheekbone. The way i'll wipe of your tears. Though i wish there be none while im with you. I'm ready to give up anything for you. I'm ready to proceed a dream with you. Not ready to accept a scenario without you. I'll try my level best to give you all youre worth. Snowballs chances in hell, youre worth alot. A smile , lifts me off. Puts me in a pleasure place also called the oblivion. I feel nothing. I go numb. Accept a gift from me. A fancy little bracelet. Has a heart on top. Has a purpose inside. Someone has their hopes locked upon you. Something they want you to do. Something they want you to accept. Place your hand on my heart. See me hitch my breath. I know you'll feel alot. Im only pounding. A dimlit room, i dreamt. A fragile angel i held. She had a bad dream. Taking it off on my sweat shirt. Shes been crying for a long time. I've held her all along. She trembled for a while. A lullaby i whisper. Trying to bring her back, revive her from the state of shock. Trying to smoothen the crease of worry. Trying to make her comfortable. She means alot to me. Not another tear i want to see, pass down the lovely valley that runs from yours eyes to your chin. I'll wipe it off anyway. Making you shiver. I wonder when you stop, i wonder when you did. Cuz i woke up on my bed. Only to find you out of my grip. Nowhere in sight. I get up i run around. In search of those brownish eyes. I spot them by the window sill. Take her hand into mine. Feel the numbness seep in. Why now? She turns around. Horrified to see black under eyes and puffy puffy look. I asked her 'Why?' I felt like a defeat. She said ' He died. In my dream'. Theres a new road that starts here. I heard a new name im never gonna be fond off. I heard a faint cry. Unable to recignize. I think it was mine. She has a love she sees in her dreams. Duh! I wasnt even sure if she liked me. As you can imagine i felt like my inside got slit. I felt my heart bleed into my stomach. I felt a growl play along my chest. I felt the urge to vomit everywhere. My knees gave up. I think i'm crying. I felt a hot liquid pass through my nose. Was it blood? Are my eyes bleeding or is my heart crying? Regaining my strenght. Regaining my posture. I walked up to the top. Reached the rooftop. I sat by the edge. I could see my world falling down all these 30 floors. I can witness my demise. I see the world passing by. I wish i could relate to someone whose heart had cried. Just like mine did. Just like a tap of water. Ill stop this nonsense. Am i her brother? I love her. I love her. She never sees that. She needs to see what feelings for her i carry. She needs to hold my hand and tell me not to worry. Promise me she'll be there. She needs to stop deciding and make a decision. She needs to develop a feeling for me in her heart. Let it be hate. Let it be love. I'll love her forever. I'll love her always. But dont take it for granted, it gets sour. Tell me you love me. I know i love you more.

*!*SidMarauder*!*
04-May-2010. 22:59

The Day We Fell Apart.

Raining like never before.
I miss you so much, it isn't fair.
Staring into space. I can't think.
All i feel is the empty space.
The sound of you rings my ears, but never did.
Now youre gone. I have no idea how to get you back.
Maybe it is one sided.
Maybe i'm the fool in the circus, my life, the arena.
They said. Dance. Sing. Paint. Write.
There things are supposed to make you happy.
But right now, they don't.
When youre wishing for somethings and you don't get it.
Thats called life.
But when youre wishing for just one thing and you don't get it, now this is called suckish supremo!
What can i say? Heart did time in Siberia afterall.

Nothing Else I Can Say.

Faces i see in the crowds bother me, Smiling like everything's perfect. I hate it when they let you see all the sugar coated part of them. Well i am one of them. You don't know anything about me from the face i've been making, For the past while, its impossible to tell who i exactly am. The reality behind the smiles i make. The truth behind the word i say. I lies i spit. Inside i'm dieing, trying to pull myself together for this jumpy road. Pulling myself together to not be bothered by a couple of strangers asking me why i have this face that i do. Well thats me so live with it and move on. But thats never an answer, thats not what you say to people who try to care. But then again, i'm perfectly fine. I told you didn't i? Well anyways. Its not what it could have been. Its what you did, the lie. Whether it was yours or mine. Although i know i for one, am sorry. And i've never been able to tell you that. Well this just sucks. Tell me whats this desperation? Why is it that whenever i recall my days, all i see is your face. The tear that leaves my eyes makes me smile. Why is it that everytime i promise myself to never go back into that vacuum. That vacuum i feel whenever i get into deep thought about you. Feels like the world arounds on mute. And all i hear is a screetching noise like nails on a blackboard. I wince and then get back to reality. When will i finally let this suffering go? When will i finally be able to smile without faking it. When will i be able to laugh like i actually laugh. When will i be able to live like i used too. Although without you. When will i finally be me again? Picture me writing this in a silent room, dark and humid. Want to be me? Trust me you don't. Want to feel this? I hope you don't. I can feel my heartbeat punishing my skin. Almost trying to rip out and shred my life into pieces. I'll hope for the best. We'll see. I always say.... ' Screw the past. Hope for a better tomorrow. Live in the moment. ' GOD! I'm such a hypicrite. Lets see, my past - Erm well lets say it has sucked!! My future - I see emo. My present - How about we change the topic yeah? Its just that, sometimes all you need to be is alone. Some say you just say you need to be alone but what you want is attention. But why is it that at times like those when i see someone approaching, i hallucinate my murder with a knife dripping off blood. Why is it that when i cry, i feel nothing. All i know is that my eyes are leaking. I wipe them away but they keep coming. Like an hour glass rotated before time. I guess its just what i have to go through till i find my antidote. Antidote to this pain i relive over and over. Some strangers become familiar, to friends, betrayers. Then finally comes a hate list. Always thanked god for what i had. Never complained. Never made faces. I accept. I don't fuss. Why me? I have not wished bad for you. I have not hurt you intentionally. Why me? But then again, life comes with no handbook. Or a set of instructions. Its like a bunch of untamed animals left in a cage. Barking and screetching for freedom. Everyone wants to be the brad pitt. No one wants to die. Everyone feels the need to be powerful. No one wants to be the minority. Be me for a day. Feel what i feel. See this world through my eyes. Hear my thoughts. Live in my personal hell. Sometimes i feel so low, i dont feel anything at all. My pillow holds me down at night. Closed eyes restrict my tears. My eyes grow red out of depression. Under eyes black out of insomnia. Bloods another liquid. Tears like the tap. The thought is my key. To the internal misery. As you read this youre thinking ' oh cmon it couldn't be that bad ' oh well. What can i say? I didn't plan for it to be like this. Now lets just hush for the while and hope everythings gonna be alright. Each one of you have felt this. Sometime. Somewhere. You did. You felt like picking up a glock and pop. You heard arguments and felt like shutting them up. Glock and pop? Too young to understand still had to witness shit. All you sometimes want is to make em proud. All youfeel sometimes is the need to win. Some recognition but you dont work that way? Join the club. They made promises. They smiled and held your hand, told you they loved you and you'd be over this 'phase'. Do you remember the promises you made? You dont remember for the moment but it dents my trust on you, forever and here we go again. Things dont make sense. Life sucks. Thats for you to decide. No?
09-Aug-2010 1:38 am.

Now, then.

Trying so hard to reach the top,
Struggling, but breaking through all these challenges,
You're on my mind, through all this thunder and rain.
Trying so hard to reach the end of this tunnel,
To survive this storm and drop on my knees, face you again.
Stare into your eyes and let you see.
What i did, what i went through,all of it, killing me, all of it, for you.
You've made me tough, i try to prove myself, over and over.
I still smile, i'm breaking inside.
To deserve you,To let you let me in, to finally be in peace.
Unaware of my future, guide me.
Please do.This emptiness is bothering me, its a pain i relive.
It gets emptier and colder everytime i feel this,
This is the pain, the pain amplified,
When you look away, leave me with nothing to say,
The tear that leaves my eyes, trying my best to do my best,
Trying my best to deserve the best,
Never ever questioning my sanity to all the things i go through,
Still alive, still surviving, you're my hope,
My reason to be breathing, alive and kickin'.
Now its all a shame, further, nothings the same,
Tumbling and tripping, on my words on my thoughts,
Free falling all the way to the pit,
The pit of pain, this blackhole.
Now i'm careless.
Now i'm blind.
Now i'm rejected.
Now i'm a creep.

Did it again.

At the height of the night.
Feel the peak of my love.
I'm trying to make it right.
Hesitation, like a mask and a glove.
Feels like a field pushing me away.

A field of hate, adopted? Don't say.
Feels like youre trying your best to disappear.
Feels like heaven, rare as a leap year.
I'm free falling, flying like a dove.
When i'm gone, i'll shine from up above.
Like to love or like to leave?
Wait a while, i've got tricks up my sleeve.
The lies worth believing.
Fixing me within, within time, healing.
Need you now, to let you know.
To make you feel, let me show.
My dreams, visions. Dedications to you.
Its a look in the eye, belongs to you.
Another place, another day.
Did it again, not a word i could say.

If.

If i could write you a note everyday.
Its hard to imagine what it would say,
For my love increases by the day,
You're not mine, i love you anyway.

If i could write you a note everyday,
just a hint to what i could say.
"Hey. I love you. Be mine, okay?
Not even close to perfect but anyway.

If i could just express what i feel,
If i could write to you my emotion,
these tears won't be wasted anymore.
A new reason to breathe, a new ray of hope.

If i could see you just for a minute,
Hand you this box, That bracelet, in it.
A vial of love, a letter of devotion.
Prince charming on his knees expressing his emotion.

If i could take you anywhere,
I would take you everywhere,
be there, take a pic, cheese, prepare.
Perfect is the word for when we are a pair.

If i could make you loved,
I would take your hand, kiss you tenderly.
Look up. Smile. And smile.
Look at you and just smile.

Motive.

My motive is not your beauty,
My love is not limited to when we're together.
You're not aware of the times i cried,
out of pure love, the one i could never express.
Out of pure hate, for myself, letting you go.
I had this choice, i made without thinking through.
here i am, writing this. crying. thinking about you.
Remebering how i made you feel like a princess,
There is this need for you, right now. i supress.
I loved you so much all i did was watch you sleep.
Brush your hair that tickled your eyes,
Feel your breathe down my neck,
As i held you while you snored softly.
The pleasant cooing never stopped.
but now the tears start coming, i don't think i've ever stopped,
loving you is all i ever did, all that felt perfect.
Youre like a dream i regret waking up from.
Youre like a train of thought, right now, derailed.
My love for you is unimaginable.
my love for you is true.
My motives are clean.
I know you hate me right now, but i still love you.

This love.

This feeling you leave me with,
How i just fall into my memories, as i sit.
Caught your eye amidst the crowd,
I feel light headed, baby you knocked me out.
How i remember you from back then,
Barely, now here you are hitting 9 out of ten.
The way we smiled, with those games we played.
The way i thought, out in the open, we laid.
Our love intertwined, the glow, they way you shined,
Your laugh, your smile, your brown eyes.
Faded away, welled up, with our goodbyes.
I wish to hold your hand and let you know,
To just bore into those brown diamonds and show,
you the way i feel, what, for you i feel.
I've thought it through,
I know i love you.
Now we're miles apart,
Nothing said, its all in my heart.
Wonder if i could just open the doors.
To my heart, play my reel.
I've bottled my emotions, they're soon to pop.
On my insides you create explosions, on my knees i'll drop.
Youre the one i care about, the most
beautiful to my eyes.
No more goodbyes.
Be mine. Let me be yours.
You'll be mine, i'll be yours.
This love we share, its needs to be expressed.
9th cloud, i'm up there, Wiped me off my feet, baby i am impressed!

Unspoken, Thrice.

Time to fight, lets make it tooth and nail. Thing ain't right, tried makin' em better, freaking fail.
Runaway, why do you care? What say? Your presense is quite rare. Now i'm broken, on my knees. Love unspoken, dirty as grease.
When i loved you, youre the one i thought about. The one i cared about. Your opinions were my goals. You wish was my command. You love was my medicine.
I died.
Its sad to say none ever felt this way. Who's left to pass on this tale through the family trees? Whats left to ever preserve, why is it that we're drifting apart and breaking like a dried tree. Darkness upon the horizon, the one never bored a rainbow. Never a glint of happiness on your emerald eyes. My life for your happiness.
I died.
All i want is you. Sacrifices along my way seem to make it impossible. Who am i? Do you know? Oh crudd! No? I'm the one who sent you those chocolates on your birthday. The note under your desk, the card in your backpack. The kitten on your front porch. The one who you never notice. The who whose cared for you all along. The one who has no idea what its like to be rejected. The one who feels nothing but isolation. The one with the small life and huge dreams. As huge as you, or your ego? Doesn't matter anyways, why? Cuz i died. Thrice.

You.

I held my hand.
Waiting for you to accept.
I'll hold your hand and make you forget.
I'll make you play a smile along those ruby lips.
I see you try to false it in a way.
Dont do this to me.
I put my hand on your shoulders ' look at me, tell me. Whats wrong '.
You smile and push me away. I stand there.
Hurt by all means ofcourse.
I look at you. I think you regret .
I've never been a jerk or never meant to be one.
Why push me away? Why? While all i want to do is bottle up your pain and drink it up.
Let me suffer. Let alone i die.
I cannot see you cry. Not another time. Not again. Not a tear, i'll stand here.
Right here. I'll wait for you.
I believe its not impossible for you, to let me help you.
Let me make you happy. I know youre very unhappy.
Do you have any idea what i feel?
Do you have any idea what i go through having this stupid sensitive heart.
Only to top it off you being the gashed wound on it.
You being the one ive cried, i cry for.
You are special. You are amazing.
Nightmares are not real. Letting someone be there is soothing.
Take my hand. Grab it firmly, dont ever let go.
I'm here for eternity. Use me.
Redeem all i have. Smile. Laugh. Grin. Shine.
I'll be happier than a baby with a lollipop.
I want to make you forget. I want to share a secret. I've loved you always.
Ive adored you like a teddy bear.
You're a medicine to all my negetivity.
You're the reason of my ocassional stupidity.
You. You. You. :')

From dusk to dawn, on and on.

When i care, I CARE.
Hurt my love, You wouldnt DARE.
Sounds of bullets,
Miniguns and guys in Mullets.
Break you heart.
Hit the restart.
Make my day.
What did i say?
Left to bleed.
What's your need?
Spit a few lies.
Tears from your eyes.
A broken handle, doors closed.
Feels like the limbo, still over dosed.
Another lesson learned.
Medal of honour earned.
A way of life you regret.
Another way that i select.
Another bow to the king.
Stuck in the circle of your ring.
Feel the magic i deliver.
Stop bleeding for her, why'd you want to suffer?
Push my buttons, imma fix you up.
Pull my strings, this could mess you up.
Don't care about the future.
Live in the moment, this torture.
Love the shape of the sledge hammer.
With such hopes, stuck to that wedding planner.
Its the same thing that goes on and on.
From that day till now,from dusk till dawn.

My write way.

Hear me, the pain and the love.
What i've went through.
What i did for you.
My keys had a certain pearl tone.
To when i thought of you and played.
The way it would just fit with my emotion.
The justice to my feelings.
Finally delivered.
The tears at the end of the day.
Laying back and re-thinking about everything.
Words and nothing but mere words.
I cannot write all the cute stuff here.
Its better said than written.
I'll let you know how i feel.
There can be nothing more important to me, nothing more special.
You are someone i love.
With all my heart.
The place where my stars crash and spell your name.
The place where i look down into the water and see your pretty face.
I stay awake for you.
You, never having any idea about my sacrifices.
You are hard to reach, i find you within me.
I sit alone. At a park bench, wih i could just get my piano keys again.
Feel you better for just the moment.
I'm put in this position again, writing all this to vent.
Right now, my heart is heavy.
My vision is hazy and my mind is unclear.
Visions and sounds, noises, bothering noises shrink my face.
Creases of worry.
Left with this face, not good enough to potray my love.
Not smooth enough to let the tear slip.
Can't really tell you how deep it is, for as high as i get.
Nothing feels right right now. But thats fine.
This situation i've been put in, gives me shivers and cries.
The shit i've been dealing with has made me sick.
A couple of diseases, bunch of pills.
I'll be alright, its just lovebug.
I wish i was 5 again. I wish i cried for a lollipop.
I wish i was 25 now, wouldn't have to go through such confusion.
Why? Why aren't we ever satisfied?
Find satisfaction within you, okay don't, its not there.
Just love while youre at it.
At life.
The right person.
The right way. I
I do it the write way.

Hello. I love you.

Here is to a new day,

Another day, just like yesterday.

Its beautiful when you smile.

I see pretty in your eyes.

I love the colour of your eyes,

I cry at your goodbye’s.

In love with you, was and again.

Into the same oblivion feeling. The bliss.

My bliss. My world.

A catch of your eye, the hestitation when you lie.

A want to hold you every night,

The need to feel you by my side.

A sight of you, that hairband and the lock of hair on your eyes.

Its weird to say but i love it that way.

Just the two of us, in this chilly night.

We can feel loved, twirl with me. I’ll keep you happy.

I vow to keep you safe, never let that smile go off your face.

All you need to do is, pull me near. Wipe my happy tear.

Never hide your feeling, don’t hurt me that way. I’m right here baby, kneeling. You leave me with nothing to say.

Speechless for you, i’m stuttering. I...I...I...love you.

Wasn’t the way i planned, It was natural.

Waiting for your answer, i feel insecure.

Getting rejected isn’t a part of my plan.

The one i planned with the garden and butterflies.

With the kids grinning, running around. Chasing those fireflies.

Love is in the air, I’m lucky to have you here.

This is my forever and it starts right now.

This is my letter to you, my dream. Lets start preparing right now.

Life.

Love is a four letter word, just like life.

Now, life is a bug, just like lovebug.

You never know what you’re a part of, what your role is.

You never know the person you just brushed by could be yours too.

The person you caught an eye off could be your nemesis.

Its never written, its never understood.

What life is, its not a game. Its definetly not a movie.

Its something which can be controlled by very few.

The ability to lead.

Isn’t that why they say, lead your life to the brightness across the tunnel.

Dude, my life has no legs or tyres.

The sting of a bee is no match to that of life.

Its going through hell, things dying within you.

Things dying near you, its like you’re a magnet of death.

Well, the worst case scenario could be death at touch.

No one feels what you feel, they never do.

No one tries until theres something in it for them too.

Its life, its something you want to get away from,

Its something beautiful. Its a wheel.

It goes on.

And on.

Its facing your fears. Its loving who you are.

Its finding your hope within you.

Its something you can’t undo.

Its a test.

Until we’re laid to rest.

Hold on, don’t let go.

You’re in it too, we all are.

You’re not the only one, we all are.

Far isn’t really far.

The trust isn’t really true.

Life is just not life, when there is no you.