MH370

I was smiling at my shine,
I could feel her holding my hand,
With a similar promise of love,
I could see her band,
Intertwined with my fingers,
I was under the stars,
With the flowers and fireworks,
And she walked down the aisle,
And held my hand,
I could feel her, next to me,
I could feel her in this fear,
Comforting me, I closed my eyes,
Wrapped in my self,
I was fading,
Tell her I love he-....

Our hearts are pounding,
Hungry for light,
We're screaming, can you hear us?
Our tears are starting storms,
Can you see us?
We're ripping the tides apart,
Desperate for closure,
We're fading...
Can you-...

Somewhere we hide,
From all the darkness in this world,
Up above, down below,
We're the lucky ones,
Far away from all lies,
We're fading...
Can you find-..

I still remember,
I dug my tiny nails into their fingers,
Daddy took me in his arms,
And we walked from window to window,
When our house fades,
In the sky and I cried,
I was scared and Mommy held me tight,
I burst balloons and I bothered people,
I laughed when Mother shushed me,
I cried for colors at the shop,
I faked a cry and stay in your arms,
I should've gone to school,
I'm sorry Mother, I love you,
I'll go to school everyday,
I'll be the best version of myself Father,
I'm scared and I miss your arms around me,
I don't want the colors or the candy.
Can I have your arms around me?
Daddy I'm scared.
I'm fading...
Mother I lov-...

RIP MH370

...

We escape the world,
And everything it brings,
Walking past these headlights,
In our own little world,
When we walk to places,
We've never seen,
And lose ourselves,
Throw our hands up,
With people we've never known,
Escape everything that means so much.
Why?

Seclusion.

Never show your pain,
Hide your eyes,
When you cry,
Infront of the world,
And their ears,
Their eyes and their hearts,
Sometimes cold and hard,
Sometimes soft and fallen,
Yours maybe broken,
But cover their eyes,
From all the misery,
You've faced.
All the misery,
They've never seen.

Close your ears,
When you cry tonight.. 
Hide your eyes, 
When you cry in light... 
Tomorrow you'll face the world again, 
Be brave, tomorrow you've to live again. 

If these stars fall, 
When you sit and weep, 
Smile and look for the light, 
That's guiding you, 
Wish for innocence, 
Atleast for the ones unknown, 
To this misery you've seen, 
To the tears you've cried, 
Wish for seclusion, 
Of those dry eyes, 
That have never seen pain, 
And for those eyes, 
That rain in the dark, 
Wish for seclusion, 
For those eyes, 
That've never seen pain.

My First Community Service.

I used to think the phrase "I would trade anything for 'XYZ'" was over-rated until the past two days.

On the way

I, a volunteer for Community Service from Asia Pacific University started my journey to the hosting University, HELP in Damansara as a very confused and uncertain candidate, but little did I know I would end up feeling like this and make so many irreplaceable memories.

It all started off with us being welcomed at the Community Hall by the coordinator of the program, with light snacks and welcome speeches we were all handed over to our Foster Parents.

Me and three of my foster brothers from different universities met our 'Mama' and her niece, Mama is what she wanted us to call her by.

The journey to Ruab, Sungai Pasu, Pahang was very silent.
There were so many strange faces, all unknown faces, except my fellow volunteer from Asia Pacific University.
So it wasn't really tiring, just a quick splash of water on our faces and we gathered at our respective foster homes for lunch!

I considered myself the luckiest of the lot to have gotten the caterer of the Kampung (Village) as my Foster Mother, so delicious food was at arms length.

Natural rubber!

Day 1 -

The first day was much relaxed, we had our first experience of the village life as we went rubber tapping and saw how the rubber is actually produced, met the Orang Asli people and gave them the donations of rice, oil, milk powder and canned food after they entertained us with their traditional dance and taught us all at the same.
Then in the evening, we went fishing, everything in the most natural style.
No fancy equipment, wodden sticks, strings and home made bait!
And we caught a lot of fishes, A LOT.

And to end the day, we taught the little kids of the village how to use Microsoft Office applications and making slides and smiley faces!

Day 2 -

The second day started off with the early arrival of the doctors and nurses from the hospital for the blood donation!

We were divided into groups on the very first day and the activities were all scored,
On day 2, each group got a different task,
To clean the field, to paint the boundary walls of a building, or to plant trees!

Painting!

And I am guilty of changing groups several times, and excused myself saying I'd get to meet more people!
And for all, football and netball against the Kampung folks!

With all of this going on, all the groups were scattered all over the village practicing for their performance in the night at the Cultural program.












The Cultural Program -

The bride and groom, 'fake'

The Mock Wedding :-
There was a loud drum roll and the Bride and Groom walked in between the people and settled at their chairs on stage while they played their traditional drums and honored the two.
We were given a first hand experience of how the marriages are in Malaysia, with the Flower with Egg given by the newly weds and the blessing, every bit of it.

The Performances :-

Every group danced for the performance part and entertained the audience, a lot of them joined and jived!
But our group had a little skit, we acted our a classroom full of International Students trying to learn Malaysian, some naughty, some good.
And it ended giving a strong message on how to behave in the classroom!

The Prize Ceremony :-

For the games and activities each group was awarded according to their performance and will given gift hampers to end the day with the happiest note!

Day 3 -

With the rise of the sun, sadness started to sunk into me, as it was the last day at the village.
Every house was buzzing with the volunteers packing before we left for the Pulau Chekas waterfall for a short picnic before last meal with the respective foster families and depart back!

My foster family!

So yeah..
Saya suka Malaysia.
Saya suka Bahasa Malaysia.
Saya suka pandudu sungai pasu, pahang!

I learned a lot, had an amazing experience and definitely will miss each and every one of the people I met there!

Silence and stillness.

I'm usually not silent,
But tonight my lips have dried,
I'm watching and hurting,
So much arrogance and hate,
All around even if I close my eyes,
I still hear every word they say,
Tonight, I'm so silent,
And there's stillness inside.
I'm scared of so much tonight,
For so many around me,
Have you not loved?
Have you not felt that cold wind?
In the summer, haven't you felt cold?
Haven't you been numb and deprived?

When you close your eyes,
Don't you feel yourself fall?
When you fall on your knees,
Are you still proud of all you've been?
Infront of this shining light,
When you fall and squint your eyes,
And you look back,
Do you smile?
Tonight, I'm silent for I couldn't.
Tonight, I turned around and looked at myself,
Tonight I was scared of so much.
I was scared for so much...
I shut myself in this stillness.
I shut myself in this regret.

Breaking.

You and me fell,
We've been standing so long,
Held up so high,
Looked at in the eyes of the innocent,
With faith and hopes for tomorrow,
You and me have shone,
And they've opened their eyes to us,
Until today, they held their eyes together,
Blinking and blinded,
Today, they look at us.
They talk of us.
Today, we are history.

You and me fell,
And they blinked their eyes,
Questioning their eyes,
Questioning their conciousness,
And we've walked past these memories,
That we made and laid to shine,
You and me, we've had our shine.
We've blinded their eyes,
And now we walk past these memories,
Leaving pieces of us behind,
With every step,
We've breaking..

Sleep sweet love.

Far away and I am,
Unknown to your eyes,
Uncertain to your heart beat.
Sometimes I may be a part of you,
I'll stand and search,
And I'll find you,
Amidst these faces, when I see gems,
Diamonds in your eyes,
And I'll find your soul,
Shining and hurting my eyes.
Uncertain to your eyes,
I'll stand and fall.
And you'll pass by,
Watching your shine in me,
Hurting me and tearing me apart,
Untouchable, like a distant fire.
Until you see me in your sleep,
With your eyes closed,
When you see me,
Come running to this crowd.
Pick me up, I've fallen...
Sleep sweet love,
I want you to dream.

Tame the hate.

Let's forget moments we will never remember,
And explain things we don't understand,
To everyone missing,
Under the stars we cannot see,
Today, when the clouds dry,
And the scars in all of us fade,
Today when our hearts mend,
And we forgive every blade we've touched.
Let's forget faces that've brought us down,
And bury memories that wet their shoulders,
With our tears from the clouds.
Before we fade, let these memories go,
And ring all bells,
That've rusted and broken.
Hold hands that've forgotten the touch,
Let the cheeks feel the rush,
And the lips curved until the ears,
Today when you see darkness,
Embrace it.. and love it.
Open every crumbled paper,
And send out the words of love.
Today when you see darkness,
Tame it.. let it go.
Love hate, and tame it.

Something is missing.

In this air, in this wind.
The moments I collect here,
In the jar of broken hearts,
Pieces I've collected,
Memories I've made,
Something here is different,
Incomplete and unsettled,
Like the sands,
And the chards of glass across shore.
Drops and stains of blood,
From all the hate,
With bottles of love letters,
And birds with broken wings,
As they fly and chirp,
Scream of all that's missing.
Rains without the thunder,
And the thunder that never pours.
Some words without the sound,
And the love without none.
Something here, in this air,
In this place, in this wind..
Something is missing.
Is it me?
Is it you?