Last Dance

The slowest song plays,
And that look you part,
From the corner of the room.
Amidst the crowd, We just stare.
Just one night away from being miles apart.
For an uncertain period of time,
Broken up over this fact.
Looking into my eyes,
You hold my hand,
I wrap my arms around your waist.
We stare, but we don't speak.
Let the swaying do the talking,
The time that felt like a moment,
Being in your arms,
Holding you there, for the last time,
For the last time for a long time.
Leaning onto you, The music fades.
And I hear you sigh,
That body language, holding back tears.
And I wipe them away,
Its too late to promise a new day.
Maybe, somewhere far along the road.
We'll meet again.
Bump into each other, with that smile.
The one we've shared in the past.
Stare into our eyes and get lost in the moment.
Just like tonight,
But tonight.
As much it kills me to say,
Its just the beginning,
The beginning of the last dance, ever.

If youre not here tomorrow.

Our love is precious.
You stay the night.
And I stay in.
We've been singing all the time,
The look in our eyes,
Never feel the need to stop now.
This stare, this tingle.
Never getting enough of you,
Never feeling enough to the words we say.
I want you to know, that it doesn't matter.
If you're not here today,
If you're not here tomorrow.
I know you smile, faraway but yes you do.
You know I smile, over here, I smile for you.
I didn't love you to hurt you.
I can't stop.
I want you to know, It couldn't ever be better.
Something I've wanted to tell you,
In this life that seems like a dream,
I want to wake up with you still here.
With your heartbeat beating against mine.
Could I tell you how much I need you?
Or do you need to look in my eyes?
When I'll hold your hand, It'll feel right.
From thousands of miles away,
I think I'll walk to you tonight.
These words aren't enough.
In a look in the eyes.

In The Shadows.

They look into our eyes,
And the things they promise,
They make us believe.
You are destined for greatness.
You will be great.
The world stands no chance.
Three years from now,
When you're a failure.
When you feel this and you look back,
Look back into their eyes and you feel that intensity.
The intensity of faith, that beam of light.
Running through the shadows in your head.
Could you go back in time and look away.
Could you say what you've always wanted to say.
Walk out of the room before it catches fire.
Look away when the stars fall.
Could you have done it differently?
Would it bring you to peace?
To do it all over again,
To go through the changes,
The way this world would've been.
If you'd lost.
The way this world would've been.
If you'd acted differently,
How you change the people that surround you.
That look in yours eyes when they see you.
Would you change that just to change them?
Just to feel the greatness.
Where you really destined for greatness?
Or did you let them push their words,
Just too far down your heart,
Too far into the shadows.

There.

They want too, and you know they can.
Its not easy but you accept this.
Its in their hearts to make you smile.
Its in their hearts to never want to see you cry.

Because they love you,
Without threads attached.
Without if's and but's.
The worlds waiting, so are they.

They want too, and you know they can.
Love you, the way you never imagine.
Its true what they feel.
In their shoes, the sight of you is so beautiful.
Just don't push them away,
Don't step on their dreams.
Smile for you can,
Let them love you, for they can.

Because they love you,
Without threads attached.
Without if's and but's.
The worlds waiting, so are they.

Does it tingle your senses?
Do you smile to yourself at times?
Do you know you're in love too?
Are you up in the night,
Your room ceiling's not a painting.
Its just you unacquainted with your love.
For they say...

If you love something let it go,
If it comes back to you it's yours.
If it doesn't, it never was..

They'd never let you leave,
They'd never let you be alone.
They're there..
See it, they are.

Steady

What I am inside,
Is a broken glass,
Almost broken, tumbling to all the cracks.
Two days ago and what'll be two days later.
I feel like I've changed,
Just a while ago, I had you smiling.
To the little things I do for you,
Your smiles polish my glass inside,
Heal me, inch by inch.
With every time I make you smile.
A few dreams that I've dreamed.
Wake me up with a smile,
In the land of my sleep, I glide all the way.
Wandering off from this corner of the town,
To under your window, I stand with Roses.
Is it a trick, or is this just how I get you to be,
The best you can be, gliding and grinning.
Running into my arms.
With each step that we take together,
Sturdy and steady, I know we'll never fall.
With each step that you take...
I'll be right next to you,
With a hand on my heart.
Waiting for you to need a hand,
But you never do.
Tougher than this storm,
Stronger than the wind.
I know you've pulled me through the hard times.
But you never let me,
You wink, you walk.
You smile, you heal.

Not Enough.

The things I do for you,
The things I say,
The dreams I've lived,
The dreams I'll live.
I've never left you out of it,
Never left you out of anything.
Even in my dreams its felt unjust,
Unjust to my love for you.
Never expressed that way its meant to be.
Hold my hand and keep me right next to you,
And forever there, I'll keep the monsters at bay.
Forever there, I'll love you the way you want.
This entire time, I could've just stopped trying.
Could I go back and do it all again?
Could I go back to do it the right way?
Would it matter if I break your heart this time,
For the other way round,
I tried and I try really hard.
But things that I do,
Things that I say.
They're never enough.
Are they ever enough?

Say so much.

Someday I just might break,
I've been holding these tears for so long.
It feels like forever, that I've thought of it.
Thought of losing my grip, thought of throwing it away.
Throwing everything away, in love with you, I cry everyday.
In love with you, I smile everyday.
I don't know if you can ever see this,
But deep down the pits of my heart,
I've written your name, I've carved your name.

No, I don't send you letters everyday.
No, I don't take a blade and bleed your name.
But I love you in everyway...
Open your eyes, Its just the same.

Someday I just might break,
I've been holding on these lies for so long.
One after the other, I turn away.
Unable to look into your eyes,
With such honesty, you put your trust into me.
I've betrayed and I've beaten all you gave me.
I've fallen from grace and now I can't be,
With you under the same roof,
Without hitching my breath,
Without feeling a little scared.
You haunt me, for you hold my life.
With just words you turn me upside down.
In my dreams you seems to lovely,
So calm and so serene.
I know you will one day,
One day you will walk out of my dreams.
Love the way I do.
Feel the way I do.

No, I don't send you letters everyday.
No, I don't take a blade and bleed your name.
But I love you in everyway...
Open your eyes, Its just the same.

Siberia.

I don't know why,
But the things you don't tell me.
I see it in your eyes.
Things you hide, I've never known.
And it makes me sick,
It gets me down.
To look at you,
Live with the fact,
The fact that there are things.
Things I've never known.
When you hide away your face,
I know you're wiping that tear away.
I wish I could just read your mind.
Be there for you,
Like I promised, through it all.
Forever and Always...

I don't know why,
But when we talk like we do.
I feel something's incomplete.
Tell me what could this be,
Tell me the things you've never wanted too.
I just can't live a lie,
Not with you, not about you.
Trust me with this and tell me,
Tell me whatever I've never known.
When you hide away your face,
I know you're wiping that tear away.
I wish I could just read you mind.
Be there for you,
Like I promised, though it all.
Forever and Always...

Just like them.

You got my attention, like never before.
With the words you said, you make me smile.
You take me by the hand and run like a kid.
With that grin on your face,
The symphony of your laugh.
The sound of your voice.
To me, to my ears, this beautiful lullaby.
The colour of your eyes,
To me, to my eyes, like a beautiful painting.
Watching life from behind a glass.
With my hopes pinned to you.
You push me, into that place.
Where I smile, where I'm happy.
Where I'm nothing, without you.
I lose my balance when you're not aside.
It wasn't easy to just let you go.
After resting my head on your shoulder.
Feeling like you're out of reach,
I cannot make a move, without your presence.
In the dim light, I sit up by the window.
Watching them return home,
Hand in hand, thats when I miss you the most.
In the evening when they walk past,
With those pretty smiles on their faces,
Thats when I miss you the most.
I've met you but I haven't.
We've been together but we haven't.
Somewhere down this tunnel,
I see us, you and me.
Just like them, smiling.
Hand in hand.
Just like them.

At times...

At times if you ask me too,
For you right then, I'd write an essay.
At times I feel so much,
That words aren't enough to make me say.
All that I feel, all that happens to me.
In love with you, and its so real.
At times, if you ask me too,
I just don't know what to say.
I'm full of words, but I don't know what to say.

At times I'm so tired of this fake smile.
This longing to just rest in your lap.
With myself open like a book,
I let you read me, I let you caress me.
At times, I just need you.
I need you to need me back,
I need you to love me.
At times, I'm just so tired.
Tired enough to throw it all away,
I don't mean too, but I throw it all away.

At times I'm just so impatient,
Just to get a word out of you,
I sit there, staring into your eyes,
Those beautiful brown eyes and that look that scares me.
Times like these, when you're all silent,
And I need you, more than ever, I need you to grin.
You stay there, hovering in my vicinity.
Never a word, never a laugh. Never that smile.
It brings me down, this phase it does.
I just wish I could take it all away.
Just take it all away.

301.

I don't know where to start,
301 days, to be exact.
I haven't seen you, I haven't heard about you.
Which part of this planet are you in?
I cannot undo what happened.
I still wear that fake face,
The one with the fake smile,
I still don't know where to start.
It feels just like yesterday,
But 301 days.
301 days, 43 weeks, 7224 hours.
Every minute and every second,
Its all a rush,
These letters I wrote to you and then scribbled.
Those emails I typed out then cleared.
Each word never felt real,
Each line trying to express my pain,
Felt so false, unable to keep up with what I felt.
This stinging pain every second,
The fact that we don't have it anymore.
That fire, its put out.
We don't have it anymore,
That light, its put out.
I don't know why I'm still in a state of shock.
After 301 days. After all those weeks,
In this place under that same roof,
I believe you'll come back,
I hang on to the memories that I have with you.
I hang on to this belief that you'll be mine,
You'll be mine someday..
Someday, someday...

Meet Me Halfway.

In this road,
We started together, I know we feel this.
This thing we both do,
To be the suns not the brightest,
For you shine so bright.
I've fallen for you,
I can't get enough of this love.
This is taking me down.
No fear, I keep telling myself.
These risks I take with every word that slips..
I've always wanted you to meet me halfway..
But you never ever try to anyway.

We're miles apart,
But this thing we can share,
Its unique to all that we know.
Its just you and me, me and you.
To me no flowers could be prettier,
Prettier than you, for the way you are.
The way you are, right now, today,
Tomorrow, yesterday, any day, any time.
I'm the guy for you, match your feeling to mine.
I've fallen for you.
I'll love you the right way,
These promises, I'll keep,
You won't need to remind me everyday.
I don't believe in me without you, you without me.
I know all the things I've said, I believe its in my words.
The words that slip.
I've always wanted you to meet me halfway..
But you never ever try to anyway.

No sunshine.

Almost everyday, I feel this emptiness.
Unable to decide why I feel.
I feel this space that's now longing for attention.
The love I gave to you, never got back.
The times I've cried over an answer.
I know you've never wanted to,
But I love you.
And right now, today again.
I feel it, I know its you,
This space in my heart, longing for you.
I miss you.

At every poke of a needle,
I remember that day,
The day you walked away, the day I felt this pain.
But its numb this time,
This time it doesn't bother me,
I close my eyes, I let the tears flow.
I touch my wounds, I scratch my wounds.
Freshening the memories, the pain, the misery.
This day again, the sun came around.
Shrinking my eyes to the light,
This darkness settled in my vicinity.
Screaming for you,
Silently... screaming for you.
Come back.
I miss you.

Every page that I read,
Pages I wrote for you,
These pages that now hold my tears,
Surprising enough, it was so beautiful.
But you turned it all around.
You broke my heart, took it out.
You shattered my life, you didn't bother.
Didn't bother to return my smile.
You didn't to make me smile.
Every page that I read,
I smile and I cry.
I smile for the love you lost.
The love you'll never find.
I cry for this love I had,
This way, I can never love again.

But never again..

In this dark storm thats headed your way,
I run to you.
I'm at the edge of my seat, to the sight of you.
That clinge of the hug.
The smile of your safety,
The look in your eyes,
The touch of your softness,
At such moment mean so much,
" You know I'll always be here for you... "
But never again... never again.

After the fire that caught,
The walls burn down,
Burn all the memories with it.
With every spark, every thing we've worked for,
Now in ashes but I run inside,
I run inside screaming for you.
I run into the fire, amidst all that smoke.
This blasts that tumble this house,
I see you and for this moment.
In this moment, I forget the fire,
Just to feel that safety, of having you,
Just to feel that softness to touching you.
Just to feel me smiling again, to be with you again...
" You know I'll always be here for you... "
But never again... never again.

I wake up to your scream,
With you in my lap,
I wipe away your tears, calm you down.
The horror in your eyes,
That same clinge, that same look.
The smile of forgetting the past.
The look of feeling safe away.
The clearing of a furrowed eye brow.
Those brown eyes, see me seeing you.
This moment makes me realise again,
How long will I be here?
Someday, you'll be alone,
Someday, I'll be alone.
I'll be gone but
" You know I'll away be here for you... "
But never again.. never again.

Promises..

She never said she'd be around,
She never looked in your eyes when she promised. 
She left you in the roads. 
Making you loose your balance to all these things. 
Tumbling from spike to spike. 
Could you wish you'd never seen her. 
Could you wish you'd never kissed her. 
Could you wish you'd never gotten used to her. 
Never gotten used to her. 

These things she never told you,
You hear her whispers when you're alone. 
At nights the moon talks to you. 
You've fallen for all the things out of reach. 
She never promised sunshine everyday. 
She never promised a kiss in the night. 
She never said she'd be around for comfort. 
Do you want to turn time?
Do you want to go back to that month. 
Change that january like every other month before. 
Do you feel the need to stab yourself. 
No. No. Who you are, is better than that. 
You're still in love, but cursing the way it is. 
You're still bleeding for her, but never covering the wounds up. 
Leaving yourself out in the cold, leaving your dreams on the shelf. 
" She never said she'd be around... she never said she'd be around all the time.. "
You lay under the stars, shivering you put yourself to sleep...
Under these stars she's there, somewhere. You lay yourself to sleep just to be with her again...

Darkness.

Coming out of the darkness,
Just last year, I had you.
Walking right next to you,
I had my head held high.
Those days in your laps.
Your hand through my hair.
These memories she shine me a smile.
They spare me the tears.
In this darkness I am now.
I know you will come,
Come for me like you did.
I know I'll smile with you again,
Shine with you again.
I'll hold your hand,
Stay right next to you.
Until you kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep.

Coming out of the darkness,
This time, Its different.
This time, I feel lonely.
More than before, I shiver.
I silently scream your name,
I know you're coming,
I feel that you're coming.
Coming for me, walking it all
Through the hurdles and the storms.
I fight with my tears,
"My love is coming for me.."
Every night, this cave turns darker.
I keep scratching my wounds,
I'm keeping them fresh for you to care,
I'm keeping my hopes high,
I'm waiting to hold your hand.
Stay right next to you,
But this time you're not here,
You're not coming.
You never promised me sunshine everyday,
I've this darkness,
This darkness till you kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep again...

Nightmare.

This moment soaked all my happiness,
Within a few seconds, I lost you.
I lost you in this place,
The walls remind me, you pinning me down,
The look in your eyes,
These windows have me searching for you,
Glancing to the corner of the street.
To never find you, but I'm breathing.
You blocked my mind.
You haunt my memories.
This room scares me now,
Reminds me of your smile.
Reminds me of that last kiss.
This room reflects the suffering of that night,
The birth of my nightmare.
The evolution of this world without you.
My bloodshot eyes and tears that never dried.
This is me, when I lost you.
Come back to me, I've ran away.
See me from wherever you are.
Hear my screams, feel my pain.
Come back t me, and heal me again.
Close my eyes with a kiss.
Wash away those nightmares, those memories.
I'm dieing for you.
I'm crying for you.
Running from place to place.
Screaming so you hear me,
Hear me now..
Come to me.
Hear me somehow...

Clotting your memories.

These expression that shrink my face,
Lately I've been feeling these way too much,
For you keep stabing me in the back,
Breaking my heart, all I feel are these wounds,
These wounds I can't hide.
I needed you to look at it my way,
When my dreams are knocking at my door,
I stay in, right next to you.
I gave up most of it, just to be with you.
With just a click of that button,
You shut me up, throw me out.
You make me fall on my steps.
When you look at me that way,
I was running through these walls,
Running away from the darkness,
In the alleys I vent on the bricks.
This blood starts giving me an excuse,
To be under the same roof as you,
These clots in my brain, keep sticking you in.
I gave it to you,
I had you living in heaven,
Right next to you in a pulse.
I felt you breath,
Waking up next to you,
To admire your cooing, while you slept.
But these days I wake up,
Away from you, the lights on the corridor.
Have me looking for you,
These little things lead me to the hall way,
Have me looking for you..
Downstairs, I try finding you behind the stove,
I go through it all, twice at times.

The thoughts that scratch my head,
The bleed in my mind,
Did I treat you wrong?
I know I didn't.
Every step was perfect,
Every heartbeat with you seemed perfect.
You smiled and I felt it,
You cried and I felt it.
I was there when you needed me,
I was there when you were down,
But you're not here,
I'm alone,under this roof.
Without any living soul,
Just memories,
Bleeding inside,
Bleeding for you..

Photograph.

I'm staring at your picture right now,
I notice the colour of your hair,
The way it falls infront of your eyes,
Your cute little pout and that cute nose.
I'm awestruck and I'm at loss of words,
Still here trying to deliever what I feel,
Its more than I can write,
You leave me speechless.

I look at this perfect moment captured,
Right infront of me, I see you.
In the moment, stuck with that smile.
Oh-so-beautiful, your hand pressed upon your chin.
Looking right through this screen,
Its like you stare at me,
With such perfection,
You're not even here,
BUt you drive me away,
Away, away..

I'm thinking about you,
In the middle of nowhere,
When I walk at nights,
Walking by myself,
Along this road, alone out to nowhere,
You strike me right here,
Looking so innocent, out of the picture when you glow.
Right infront of me, When you're here.
Each detail coming to life,
I see you, the stars glow.
Its different, things change.
I look at you,
Things I couldn't say,
Things I've always wanted too,
I couldn't say...
You left me breathless...

She smiles, I lose my mind.

She has me utter words,
Words that don't make sense,
She could make me fall on my knees.
She's my everything, my sunshine, my angel.
She's the one, on the top of the world.
I could tell her anything and never regret.
With just her cuteness, she makes me smile.
The way she is, she has me wishing to be a better person,
A better soul, for her, a beautiful soul...

When she looks at me,
I skip beats and lose my grip.
Amidst my breath, I breathe her love.
Tip toeing to the entry of her heart,
Winning over, with the words that make her smile..
She smiles, I can tell you this,
When she smiles, I lose my mind.

With her touch, she makes me forget.
About their stabs, about their lies.
With her touch, she heals it all.
Letting my heart win,
Making me stay longer,
Walking in silence of the night,
Later on going through it all again.

With such simplicity,
Without even trying to,
She makes me stutter, leaves me blank.
As she walks by, winking with such innocence.
She speaks with that tone,
Her voice dripping with sweetness.
Grabbing my attention, In a crowded street,
In the silence of the night.
She smiles, I can tell you this,
When she smiles, I lose my mind.

Its Gonna Be Hard.

You can pretend its just so funny,
And walk away after playing with me.
I love you so much, and I know you love me.
Its all just so easy for you, how you torture me.
With just a smile, you vanish away.
Leaving me with the want to see,
You once again, just to hold you near.
Feel you're mine. Just this time.
In the rush of the moment,
I give away much.
I promise forever, just to see you again.
From behind when you wrap your arms around me, you've won.
This battle, I meant down.
Right into your arms, I give up.
Letting you love me, letting you feel the same.
I'd turn around right now and stare at you,
I'd turn around right now and just hug you.
But to think you'd walk away,
Leaving my world incomplete for the while you're away.
The suffering from this moment on to the time I see you again.
Is this the day we linger on that hug.
Is it that day when you vanish around the corner.
Leaving me with a tear at the corner of my eye,
It may be just a matter of days, maybe just a few hours.
To not know where you're at, to not know what you're upto.
But I have to be real, too see this through my brain.
I'd say 'Baby please don't go'.
But I hug you tight. I hold your hand and I walk away...
Turning around to see you smile.
The last perfect memory until you're here again.
Until I feel you again.

"With love, Forever yours".

I screamed your name,
On the top of my lungs,
From the top of this building,
Shouting my love to you,
Letting the world know.
But you never heard a word,
But you never returned my calls.
Never my smiles

I know they don't know you,
But the strangers smile at me,
When I express my love for you.
In their eyes, they wish you see,
My love for you,
Open your eyes, Look at me.

I walked to you, last night,
And the night before,
I had that box with my letters to you,
Letters I wrote, my summer away from you.
The letters, drenched in rain that night,
The night I walked to you,
All I read now is,
" With love, Forever yours. "
Could it have been different?
After all the thoughts I put into it,
Could I have cried softer,
If that ink was permanent?

I know they don't know you,
But the strangers smile at me,
When I express my love for you.
In their eyes, they wish you see,
My love for you,
Open your eyes, Look at me.

I won't always love these selfish things,
You won't always get that part of me,
It was my turn to walk away,
But you're never here,
Would I have wished to see you again?
Just to shattered your world,
Smile and walk away, stabbing my own heart.
Crying everyday of my life,
For hurting you the way I did.
For loving you the way I did.
But you're one thing thats never mine,
Crying over you,
Hurting over you,
Expecting returns to all those words,
Words that melt me down,
Every night they make me numb.
Would you feel the same?
Would you feel it too?

I know they don't know you,
But the stranger smiles at me,
When I express my love for you.
In their eyes, they wish you see,
My love for you,
Open your eyes, Look at me.
For once, Look at me.

Brother.

We ran from this part of the town,
To the cliff where we played at times,
Times we were five, living upto no ones expectations.
Living all for fun, Just to get a bit crazy at times.
Running from town to town, we had our days.
Without you, I was dull,
Without me, you were dumb.
Oh friend, I miss you now.
For the times we've spent together,
In every corner of this town,
Painting our craziness everywhere.
Leaving a sample for them to see,
The way we've been, what a mess we can be.
We play this smile, that wins over their frustrations.
We play a part in this crazy war.
Poking everyone and anyone,
All of it just for fun.
I've walked down these road,
Every journey's been incomplete,
Without you around, this space is empty.
I know you're not here right now.
I know you've moved away.
Away from this town, but the places we've carved,
Our initials still remain.
Everytime you cross my mind,
I have my fingers running through those spots.
Remembering the gap between your teeth,
The way you ran with that grin on your face.
The perfect times we've had,
Could I make up for the times you've had my back.
Running back into the fire,
Jumping into the dark pit of water.
You've had my back for so long,
You can't feel anything,
When its about me, you'd give up everything.
I'll take a journey down that road again,
Tonight smiling for you've been there,
For me through it all,
When I needed you, for the love you gave me,
Carved me into something this brave.
Someday, I hope to make you proud.

Miss you

Tonight, tonight is strange.
I miss you so much, Its killing me.
You're so faraway. Under the roof I've once been.
Could I go back in time and wait for the day,
You'd be there again, just to escape this night,
Just to escape this feeling,
The lingering ticks of the clock.
The lingering of every bad thought.
I miss you so much, Its killing me.
I lie here on the floor,
Hearing my own heartbreat skip.
Feeling the pounds on my chest,
Counting the distance between us,
Miles, kilometers, meters....
I'd walk it all, walk it for you.
Walk it all to you,
with you I call it home,
When I'm next to you,
Theres a pleasantness up in the air,
The way the moon sparkles, less paler.
The stars twinkle with a message deep down.
You shine for me, you make me shine.
I miss you so much, Its killing me.
This lingering ticking of the clock,
Take me with you, time flies.
Drag me along wherever you go.
I love you so much,
The thought of losing you,
Has me haunted, scared, petrified.
The look upon your face, when you smile.
You have me crying, out of sheer happiness.
Along the lines that I wrote,
Somewhere in between, you read the truth,
Each and every word I utter,
Will be, has been, true.
True to my heart, true to all my feelings.
Sometimes this place gets dark,
The need of your presence has be counting minutes.
Till the time I have you again,
To savour every moment,
I smile as I write this,
I smile for the time you'll smile.
When you hear me say how much I love you,
I smile, for I know you'll smile..
Everytime I shine of your shine,
But not today.
I miss you so much.

Piercing.

Its a bit after midnight,
I sit here walking the moonlight,
Pale as it is, lighting up my room.
Without you here, Its all so gloom.
The chirp of this bird,
Breaks the dawn when heard.
Starting a new day with another rise,
A frest start, shining in these eyes.
A look upon your face, watching me closely.
I walked right past, crossing my fingers slowly.
I know you're staring, as I walk by,
I feel the daggers on my back, from the corner of my eye.
You roll your eyes, turn around and walk away.
I've killed myself inside, regretting the things I say.
Everytime when I turn around, you're gone.
Everytime I close my eyes, this goes on and on.
Could we just forget about the past,
Cut all those threads, because this charm on me you've cast.
Makes me want to loosen all the ties,
Forget all the goodbyes.
Just to take your hand, grip it tight.
Just to hold you close, while you sleep at night.
If I had a second chance, I'd change it all.
I'd sit there all night, waiting for you to fall.
Just to be your saviour, just to make you fall for me,
Just to be the one you love, pour it all on me.
Give me this one chance, to it all to you.
Give me this once change, Baby I love you.

This time around...

You're the one always here,
Completing each step that I take.
Making every decision for me,
Unmuffling all my tangled cells.
With the touch of your skin,
You leave me again,
Falling out of the sky,
After this blissful journey,
Out into the place where its all dark,
Finding the tunnels,
With the shining lights in the end,
The tunnels that never end.
Until, with a tug, you pull me to you.
Reviving me back from nowhere.
I've been here all day long,
Feeling my heart hammer on my chest,
Pounding like an animal waiting to set free.
Waiting to confess with a flower across my teeth,
Feeling like the perfect Cinderella man.
Down on my knees I'll smile and hold you hand.
This time, winning over all the things you do to me.
Burning down all doors to this blissful private world.
Reaching out this time, differently.
Winning over all your whines,
I know you're mine, when you threw your arms around me.
Breathing in my scent, getting used to my fragnance.
I know you're mine, when you tilt your head a bit,
When you rest your head on my shoulder and sigh...
Needing me, for all the right reasons this time.
The way you held me tight,
Pulling me closer than ever,
Shedding tears that hit my skin,
Telling me about your broken heart,
Making me promise to your protection.
From all the bad, all the eyes.
This time, my prayers've been answered.
The rain that falls down tonight,
Brings an end to the endless nights.
End to all the misery,
No more pain,
Cause this time, You're mine.

I remember...

With just another song I wrote yesterday,
Figuring out the tone to the words,
I'd lie down, here all day long.
Studying your face, inch by inch.
I remember your eyes, the way you look.
You're miles away but I hear your voice,
When I run my fingers through the words I wrote,
They shine with your whisper in my ears.
This moment is perfect,
I'll hold on to it, for the time I sing again.
When I look up at the stars,
The same starry roof under which you lie,
Miles away, somewhere out there,
I know you're over there.
Every string that I touch that night,
Prints its impression on my skin,
Leaving those rashes that remind me of you.
Reminding me of the times, I sat up in the roof,
Half hanging, singing to myself,
Remembering you, feeling closer to you with every tear,
With every skip of my beat, I travel miles.
Closer to you by the second,
Closer to love for the first time.

I write, and I write again.
I talk to these walls, they know you more than I do,
I forgot the gap between your teeth,
I forgot the scar at the corner of your eye brow.
The one I used to brush with my lips,
And then hold your hand, letting you know.
Its no dent that you're left with.
I remember how I wrote this song to you,
About your dimples and your eye brows.
I remember the tears that you shed,
Under that tree, When I sang my song,
With you in my lap, you had me breathing your love.
I'd tell you about your smile,
But that'd take me down the lane,
The lane that reminds me of the songs I wrote,
About anything and everything,
About every moment that we shared,
I know you're out there...
This song says, I'm coming for you.

Colours.

In my dream, you looked like an angel,
With the perfect blush and that glossy smile.
Pulling me to you, comforting me with your aura.
Wiping every tear with the feathers,
Feather like fingers.
Brushing my eye lashes away from my cheeks,
With a kiss, you turn my world.
Upside down, and back up again.
Daring me to fly away with you,
Leaving all behind, every single sorrow.
To that place, faraway..
Pointing down the horizon, you say,
"That place...where you lie next to me,
Rest your head on my lap..
Let me smoothen the creases of worry,
With a kiss on your forehead,
Let me heal your pain.. "
With a snap of your fingers,
You turn all the grey dullness,
To this sight like no other,
Rainbow colours everywhere,
The fragnance of these carnations,
Tickling my nose, have me breathing heavy,
This look in your eye, that care.
You glide down the clouds,
Taking my hand in yours,
Looking right into my eye,
You confess to your selfishness,
You confess to stealing me away from the world,
Taking away my pain for your own needs.
You need me smiling, right here..
In your arms,
You hold me tight, never letting me go.
This place is where I want to be,
This place could be where I belong,
Here, today.
Smile again, you've done your part.
You've set me free, you've paved me a path.
A path, merging to your heart...
Right here around the corner...
In this dreamy land.
In love.
Just you and I.

Little more than forever...

If I had a time machine,
You'd be my Cindarella,
But I'd never let you go...
Never letting go off your hand,
Till the clock struck 12,
I'd hold your hand and smile.
I'd tell you its alright,
Waiting for the cast to wear off,
Waiting to carry you away.
Without searching for a crazy glass slipper.

If I had a time machine,
You'd be my Sleeping beauty,
Not so sleepy,
I'd fill your ears with whispers,
To keep you up.
Counting every tick of the clock,
Running my hands through your forehead.
With these fairies blessings,
I'd touch your lips,
Taking away all the curses,
To myself or away forever.
Just to carry you away,
Without any curses to worry about.
Just to spend it all ,
Little more than forever.

If I had a time machine,
You'd be my Juliet,
I'd be your Romeo,
At the corner of the street,
Ever night, I'd wait for you,
To crawl out of your bed,
Just to have our eyes locked,
Noticing time fly by,
As the sun rises and we part again.
Leaving parts of each other,
In each others vicinity.
Something to hang on too,
Until the next time,
I have you in my arms.
Counting days till I take you away.
To live out there,
With nothing but you to worry about.
To keep you safe and happy.
To love you more and more each day.
Just to spend it all with you,
Little more than forever..

Here again.

Is it safe to cry when you're not here?
Is it safe to say that you're the only one that keeps me happy,
The only one to ever have me trusting this much.
With each of your smiles, the way you look at me.
I'm just falling deeper and deeper.
By the way that we danced the other day,
My hand in yours, tingling to the touch of your softness.
Sliding off the nervousness and my conciousness.
Tumbling on each other, my hazy vision.
Lost in your cologne, losing my mind.
Start it over again with bumping into me,
At that same coffee corner,
On that very day,
I'd just make myself sure to stand away,
Away from the spot where you hit me.
Hit my shoulder, stealing my heart.
Like a firefly, I glowed to the stillness of the moment.
With every breath that I breathe,
It got harder to manage to ignore you,
It got harder until I couldn't ignore you anymore.
Making mistakes that have me paying at this moment,
This moment when I have nothing but you to wait for,
Or probably a million other things to do,
But still here waiting for you.
I know its not the same for you,
I could've just ignored all this lovely pull towards you,
That day, changing everything,
Avoiding all this drama, all this writing, all the pools of tears.
Its been a while, for I've given in.
Moments like these that have me crying for another try.
When you tell me you love me, coating it with such beauty,
Moments like those have me crying for you,
Crying for you, right here, right then.
By my side.
Right here by my side.

For the time...

When I pull you close, breathe in.
Make up for the times you've cried.
For the times you've spent sitting alone in your room.
Weeping, clutching to my written words. Make up for the times you've missed the touch of my skin, the frangance of me. Times you've missed me. I've missed you too.

Run to me when you finally see me.
Jump up into my arms, whisper in my ears.
'Carry me away'. This moment you frame,
no fancy white horses but perfect to just us two.
With a tiny peck at the corner of your lips,
I look at you, This one, standing infront of me,
had me going crazyEvery night away from this place, in her arms.
I felt out of place, away from my comfort zone.
Walk with me, atleast give me your hand,
Make up for the times I've crawled into my bed,
pulling my knees to my chest,
swearing at life for taking you away for a moment, a minute.
An hour or a day. Give me your hand, make up for that time.
Times i've missed the touch of your skin, the frangance of you.
Times i've missed you. I know you've missed me too.

Sunset.

From up above, looking down at the city that now looks like a tiny map. Covered with these clouds that paint the sky. Layer by layer, coating every inch with something to remember. The darker shades pouring down the emotions. Watching the sunset on the horizon. As the burning light fades away, Leaving shades of red, orange and yellow. Miles and miles stretched with the same uniform pattern. A sight to see, Look to the right and watch the volumes of clouds brushing past, making you smile to yourself. This pleasant evening, incomplete to me. Incomplete without you. So come with me, lets fly. A completely egotistic, raging with attitude, a douchebag, falls in love with nature. And all it takes is the sight of a sunset on the horizon.

Love Is Wicked.

In this fog, you come to me,
Floating up in the sky,
You smile hard and come stand next to me,
Looking for a sign on recognition,
You smile with that missing inscissor.
I thought I'd lost you a while back.
Like a guardian angel, you watch me every night.
You glide nearer and I try to feel you,
Once again after so long,
But you fade away, you just fade away.

In this cold winter when my room gets colder.
I shiver off your presence.
Smile at the prickle at my ears.
I lie down, I want you to fulfil my wishes,
Take me away.
But you never do, hours later.
In this mist I wake up, dizzy to the fog.
I know you're there.
I try to feel you,
Once again after so long,
But you fade away, you just fade away.

I thought I was crazy,
But when I felt you staring at me,
In the corner of the street,
Across the roads,
Could you show me you care?
Could you show me how much you're there for me?
Regardless of the rushing of the hour,
I run towards you,
I know you're the one, no one sees.
Visible to my eyes, I run to you.
Closing my eyes, haunted by the honking.
From this moment on,
I know I'll feel you again.

Burning stone.

Look at me like you used too,
This change is changing me,
Trust me like you used too,
This change is hurting me,
Everytime you look at me,
With those set of turqoise pearls.
I feel knifes that bore into me,
This change is killing me,
You don't keep your promises anymore,
You don't feel the need to catch up,
With that bored tone of yours,
You crush my hopes with no regrets.
This change is burdening me,
Here tonight, give me my love back.
Give me the person I used to know,
Throw away this change in search for,
Whatever has made you this way,
Cuz when you smile its not the same,
When you laugh, the sun doesn't shine again.
When you look away, Its the conciousness that you hide.
You couldn't call me on that one day of this year,
This change is making me cry.
Here tonight, Tell me you still love me,
Dieing to hear you tell me that you still need me,
Need me to hold you till you fight your fears,
Sit of the edge of the seat till you smile again,
Tell me that you still feel the same way,
The same way you did, when you gave me this stone.
This stone I wear around my neck, It burns when you think of me.
I've couldn't push my trust farther into you,
I couldn't penetrate your walls of insecurity.
Let me in,
Let me feel the same.
This change,
Its not just changing you.
This change is changing me too.

This hill.

The darkness of this day,
Empty roads, lifeless like never before.
Minutes to midnight, ticking as I walk by,
Each tree that shudders to the wisking sound.
The stillness of the wind,
Brews a storm up above.
Thundering down to the end,
The end of this road,
As it shines off the pavements.
Drop by drop, it pours down on me.
I walk by, seaping in the cold.
Feeling the mist that forms.
The darkness hovers,
Unable to get through,
Not before the loneliness radiated,
This rain washes away my tears,
Filling in for you,
This rain takes away the light at the end of the tunnel,
Lighting off the candle, It leaves me amidst this mess.
Dwelling in the misery,
Unaware of where to go,
Unaware of where to start,
This rain,
It leaves me shivering till my chest pains.
Leaving no rainbow when it fades.
Leaving no sunshine.
Leaving nothing but this darkness.

Sunshine.

When you walk with your friends,
I spot you and stop.
You smile from faraway,
I smile, nod and turn the other way.
I cross my fingers and walk a few steps,
Cross my fingers to turn around,
And find you finding me.
You've noticed the way I look at you,
With so much desire in my eyes,
So much love, my want to protect.
Speaking upto you about these moments we share,
Its hard, its not like we want it to be.
When you're around things are hard to spell.
When you're around, the air gets heavier, its hard to breathe.
I've never felt all of this,
This is new, this is what you do to me.
Speaking upto you about how I feel,
Is not as easy as spilling a few words
and parting a few smiles.
Speaking upto you about how I feel,
Is like running a mile,
Walking through fire,
Its drowning in the ocean,
Its getting high without any smoke.
Its next to impossible.
Its turning back time.

To spend sometime alone with you,
A dream in itself,
You've two on each side at all times,
The way you giggle and pass by,
I've avoided excusing you for a while,
But not today, with my head held high,
Your favourite blossoms with a romantic tinted card.
I'm walking again, counting steps to your heart.
Your smile that welcomes all never meant to happen,
My heart pounds again, giving me that same feeling.
Stuck in limbo, I stutter with a hey,
The world stops again, making me realise.
You in my arms are seconds away.
I try to overlook all this nervousness,
" My beautiful lady,
I've waited for this moment,
I want to tell you how much I love you,
I want you to accept my care, let me protect you,
From all that ever tries to treat you in the wrong way,
Its not a moment thing, I need you for a lifetime,
You let you know all that I have in my heart,
To explain all the times I've smiled and walked away.
For all the times I've ignored you,
I've always just wanted to tell you this,
I love you.. "
I blinked twice and noticed you twitch,
Had my fists clenched so hard, I dug my nails in them,
All this,
All of this,
And all you said was,
" Took you long, I love you too. "
And you had me on my knees.

Silence.

Listen to my silence,
When we walk side by side,
Listen to my deep breaths,
As we try to figure it out.
I see this road,
We walk together,
You stand by questioning our future.
Tell me about your sorrows.
Let me all in,
or maybe just a bit more than now.
I can lead you through the storms,
The rain, these dark days that you shiver off.
Listen to my silence,
I've been trying to figure you out,
Get to know you more than before,
I've protected you from every pointing finger.
When we walk side by side,
I hold you hand,
And I let them know,
To try to get to you,
Is to try to get through me.
You smile and you pull me close,
I feel I've missed it,
With you here everyday,
By my side, steady.
I've missed the feeling of being needed.
You told me you loved me,
When they looked at us that way,
Listen to my silence,
I've realised what they mean,
Could you be loving me for the wrong reasons.
Why would you want to trap me,
Back in that insecure pit of darkness.
I should've known when you let me go,
Time I fell but I couldn't feel you,
I've caught you everytime you tumble,
Had my grip on you, for I've loved you.
I know I could be all you need,
But you have me silent.
Silent to my realisation,
That breaks us apart.
Tears me down.

The Ghost Of You.

I'd like to make a toast,
To the good in me, to the bad in me.
I've made mistake, like most of you have,
Like all of you have,
We're only human to redo everything,
I think I knew it was wrong but I'd still,
Poke my nose where it doesn't belong,
Put my hand in that steaming hot water,
Walk over those burning coals,
I'd take the train to your place,
The one that gets derailed.
I thought I knew it back then,
A mistake is just a mistake until you realise what you did..

I took all the wrong steps,
Walking upto your home,
Sitting across your street, staring at the dim lit room.
Staring for a sign of live,
Until the dawn broke I knew I saw you,
Attending your funeral just a few days ago,
I know you're still here somewhere,
I saw you that night,
The ghost of you, I saw you right there.
Smiling at me, the ghost of you.

I manage to fake a few smiles,
Sitting under that tree every morning,
I feel you creep up to my shadow,
I feel your run your bony fingers through my face,
I shiver to the touch of you,
The touch of your ghost.
As cold as you used to be,
I took all the wrong steps,
Steps that made me bump into you,
Falling in love with your smile,
Steps that had me dropping you home,
Steps that had me addicted to that smile.
Had me falling in love,
A mistakes is just a mistake,
Until you realise what you've done.

I've taken all the wrong steps,
I've been dependant on a guardian angel,
Fallen in love with a ghost,
The ghost of you,

I've taken all the wrong steps,
That have me writing this,
Sitting under this dead tree,
Staring at your window,
Living like a recluse,
When the dawn breaks, I'll know...
Tomorrow will be another mistake.

Closer To Love.

When the dark clouds take over,

And you have tears in your eyes,

Send me that smile, send me that look.

You know I care, I love you...

Next to me, right here just sit.

Voice your thoughts, lets me wipe your tears.

Let me hold your hand and keep my promise.

Let me make you smile, assure you a better moment.

Let me love you, love you like you deserve, love you like I do.

When the clocks keep running,

but you don't take steps towards the finish.

Send me that smile, send me that look.

I'll come running, in the blinnk of an eye,

On my knees, at your service.

Hand me all your worries, Let me pick you up.

Let me glide you to that place,

Like a star upon the sky,

Let me make you shine, with that smile.

No matter how rough our journey gets.

No matter how many ups and downs we face,

I'll carry you with love, I'll carry you forever.

When you're away and I feel this pain.

Staying away from you is not just distance,

Staying away from you is not time difference.

It hurts to find no one that makes you smile.

Its difficult to wake up every morning, hoping for a new ray of hope.

A ray of hope that brings you close, 

Closer to me, closer to comforting my pain,

Healing my wounds with your touch,

But no matter how faraway you are,

Each moment spent, is a moment less away from you.

Till the time we lock eyes,

Till the time I hold you,

Till the time you shine, you smile.

Closer to me, closer to love.

Words

Is there any combination of words that outdoes the expression of love.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Said it a thousand times, over and over.

I felt no justice done to my feelings.

Is there any combination of words that says

'I'll die for you, I'll cry for you, I love you, always and forever. '

Its impossible for me to put my feelings to words,

I struggle with my thoughts everyday.

I sometimes think that all I need is the perfect moment and your palm placed upon my heart.

Or maybe your head resting on my chest.

To make you feel each thump,

make you recognize the way each thump spells your name.

Maybe I just need a touch of your fingers on my skin to make you feel the tickle,

the way it shines after you brush past.

Maybe all I need is my arms around you and to inhale the scent of your hair,

to brush the hair of your eyes and kiss your cheeks,

look into yours eyes and read you like a book.

Get down on my knees and peck your knuckles,

hand you that flower and express me love.

Someday.

I broke your heart, I knew it wouldn't work,
I broke your heart and turned around,
Blinking back tears that came out of my eyes,
Reliving the moments we shared together,
With each step as the distance increases between us,
Without the nerve to look at you once again,
I remember all your smiles, I remember it all.
With each step I shed another tear, to each memory.
I had to walk away, I knew it wouldn't work.
Miles away I'd cry my eyes out each night,
Smiles on my face would be a blue moon,
Don't hold on, I know I'm not coming back.
Its the little things I'll miss,
Brushing the hair out of your eyes,
Leaving the key under the mat,
Whispering in your ears,
Listening to the cooing of your breath,
At night gazing at the stars,
Loving each moment that we spent.
I'm walking away just don't hold on.
Don't shed tears, I know its hard.
I'm visibly broken in my shadows.
Each kiss now leaves a scar,
Fingers ran over now burn you down.
Hearing your name overhearing random conversations,
So faraway from you, Its too much to take.
It breaks me down,
This moment makes me feel like a miserable jerk,
Missing you so bad, I hope you're holding on,
This night, I look at this place, one last time.
Each step that I take now, races my heart.
Could I find you there? Right there where we used to sit,
Camp and preserve moments for the times we need,
Each other's presence during lonely nights,
When the moon hides behind the clouds,
Igniting all your fears, numbing the pain.
But this day, this night.
I walk storms, I leave this place,
I walk storms, taking my time to get to you,
Each step towards your direction replaces,
the misisng pieces of my heart,
I'm walking through these storms,
Hoping you're holding on,
Hoping to see you smile,
Once again, reliving my crush,
Hoping to see you again..
Someday.

This night.

This night, I'm spending it somewhat different from what I imagined a while back,

Different from what I planned, somewhere along the last hour, I hit a wrong button,

Maybe hit a wrong vein, opened an old wound.

This darkness pouring the pain into my existence,

Each seconds it stings like a knife,

Stabbed in and out, 

This night is trying so hard, to make me tough.

Making me loose my mind, playing with my mind.

Convicting me off the hearts I've broken,

Falsly trying to make me cry to all the nights I spent,

Nights I spents, just like this.

I sat at the corner of the room, rocking back and forth.

Staring at the door, fearing the movement of a muscle.

Ears cringing towards a fake knock.

Eyes bloodshot, wearing a fake halo,

Wearing ragged clothes that disturb your eyes.

Nights like these that have made your presence golden,

The suffering, the things I have to go through,

Its hard to imagine, its hard to express.

This night has me venting in a different way,

No more sitting on the corner of the room,

This night had me walking barefoot, all the way to your place.

Its 2 a.m and I'm at your door,

When you see me and pull me into a hug,

My fears melt and my worries melt away.

You put my thoughts to words, just looking into my eyes.

You shed tears, knowing what I've been through,

All it takes for you is to look into my eyes,

Read me like a book, cuz thats what you do..

You'd make each pebble i stepped on,

Each shattered glass that scraped my skin worth it.

With your soft touch, you make everything right,

You heal my insides, caress each wound with your feather touch.

You make this night worth it.

You give me a shoulder,

Put me together,

You set me free,

Make me fall on my knee.

Fall in love with you again,

Every crazy night you have me going insane.

With a tired eye, tired soul, tired mind, you slept.

When I stood there, shivering in the morning.

The way those nightmares shook my existence.

Being mistreated never bothered me,

You were my reality, you were the one for me.

I stood by each of your rants.

You're right here but you're not.

You hold my hand but you never do.

My eyes shine at the sight of you,

You become all dull.

You've got too many problems yourself,

Very little time for me,

When they hurt you like that, I was there.

When you lost a friend, I was there.

When you felt the need for a shoulder, I was there.

When you needed time alone, I stood at the corner.

I watched every move, waiting for a sign of you needing someone,

Needing me.

But you never do, better off alone?

I thought you were all I had,

I lost you, but the sun came up.

The sun went down, the stars twinkles.

The rain poured, the rainbow flaunt its colours.

Nothing changed, just a hole in my heart,

The hole that I let be there,

My misery was my thinking, 

You were who I was, but I lost myself.

Its dark here, the place where I live,

The place which I used to love.

This place, this place was my life..

Uncertain.

I wonder what I'd go like, when I see the person that changed me. The person that poured life into me, a bit naughty and alot of lovely. At times, I cry when I think of the possibilities of us never looking into each others eyes. At times, Its impossible to let this darkness fade away. Like this longing for a bit of attention, maybe longing for pain. This pain that makes it real, these tears that make you worth. Worth flying countries. Worth a fortune. This stinging pain of reality makes you so special. When I think of the million ways I could tell you how much I love you, My eyes well up and I'm the one with the short end of the stick. Feeling blue, in this blur of a moment, I've wasted tears, I've let my emotions flow. I've tried so hard, but I couldn't let go. I've tried to feel your presence, I've tried to feel you in my heart. But without you, I'm just the lock without a key. Give me your hand, open me up, Open me up till my bright colours take over this darkness. Let the rainbow of love decide whats next. Let the tears of happiness dry my eyes. Let the only skin I touch, be yours. The one name I whisper, be yours. And let you be the only one I love. Give me your hand and set me free. I'll take you away, with you in my arms, I could let time slip away. Don't ever make me go through all of that again, I know I'll survive, just to feel you one last time. But it takes so much out of me, will I be able to smile for you again?

Happy New Year.

Time flies, it does not stop, 
not for a second, 
not for a millisecond. 
What are resolutions for?
They just say, its never too late. 
This is a fresh start,
If you're lagging behind in achieving the best, work for it. Its not too late. 
If you're visionless for the rest of your life, find it. 
This is a fresh new start, live it the way you should, live it the best you can. 
Spend this year with a dream, a smile and a head held high. 
*~*!*~*Happy New Year. *~*!*~*

My 2010

After kinda being inspired by Faisal, one of my bestest of friends, I've decided to write my very own summary for my year ofcourse. 

The year started off with a time I don't even think I'd ever like to recall. 
January's always suck, trust me. 
February was fun, kinda. Me and a few guys from school used to attend school justforfun, and not study at all. Fun days, then the endless night where everyone usedto study for the boards and I wasted my time over facebook and other shit stuff, that showed very well on my report card. But ofcourse that piece of paper or rather a printed page meant nothing to anyone other than maybe people who were threatened by me getting more grades than them, rest was just a mere photocopy for admission formality. 
I'd love to go on month by month but that'd be so so long. 
April was one of the worst, emo-est, and dodgy month of the year. 
Switched countries, started writing, loads of other stuff. 
May and June i wasted preparing for a school I didn't even want to go too, July 1st was the first day of school. Trust me, finally getting a schedule after a long time is a life savor. 
School used to be dodgy, hectic and annoying, made friends. We started hanging out everyday soon...just for the sake of wasting time. 
Ramadan DID NOT feel like Ramadan, not for a second. Sucked. 
Eid sucked. 
Birthday sucked. 
October was me screwing my exams and getting really anxious about Dad's visa for KSA. Ofcourse that would mean me visiting Jeddah again, 
So end of October and November 1st week, Jeddah <3 Loved meeting almost everyone again. 
And ofcourse i've a line for December. 
" I'd go back to december all the time. " something like that, but makes sense.