My summer, wanting you...

Here is another one of those 90 others.
Dated till the day you unseal.
" Hey love,
With each day it gets harder and harder for me,
I sit here, miles away from you.
I feel your heartbeat with every word I write,
I breathe to the rhythm of your song.
With each day the distance between us,
It seems real, It feels true.
I love you so much, I can't tell you that now.
I can't tell you this, ever.
For the last time, you hurt me so bad.
Afraid of letting you hurt me again, With Love.
This is me. "

Here is another one of those letters that sometimes feel pathetic,
Their mere existence, the fact that I'm faraway,
So weak, writing bunch of letters to you,
'Dated till the day you unseal'.
Here is another one..
" Hey love,
I sat by my mother's grave today,
I told her so much about you,
I just left our history away..
It was raining, I remembered you.
It made me cry and smile at the same time,
It reminded me of the time you held my hand when we walked in the middle of the night,
The day you called me a living zombie, cuz I shivered so bad,
You standing next to me somehow felt it.
I thought then, It was our love...
Today was different, I felt happy.
I reached out to the corners of my heart, I found you smiling.
Still very faraway afraid of letting you hurt me again, With love.
This is me. "

Here is the last one,
" Hey love,
Today I come back, we'll be close enough, but not so close.
Today when I see you, I know I'm not ready to,
I know I'm not ready to face you again,
Maybe not even ready to be in the same country.
Talk about a broken heart, Its hilarious.
Don't mind me.
I leave this place, this place I spent my summer in,
My summer wanting you, every second of it.
I thought of the different scenario's of that I'll face today.
The way you'll smile, maybe the way you walk.
Thinking if its too late, thinking if this could get more pathetic.
Love, today when I come back, I want you smiling.
I want you to come and stand next to me,
I want you to wash away my tear, when I cry.
With high hopes that you don't hurt me again, With love.
This is me. "

This is me, This was my summer.
My summer, wanting you...

So much for expectations...

I put my heart and soul into this song,
I reach out to the deepest pits of my love.
I seek every emotion, I relive each moment of misery.
Why these lies? Why?
Why the need to betray and fake trust?
When you put so much into it,
When you put so much into being that person.
The one that waits hours just to seek a 'Hey'.
The one that goes through hell, just to get a glimspe of you?
Why lie? To that person,
The one that cares the most, the most about you.
Why lie? To that person,
The one who probably can't live about you.
The one who doesn't judge, washes away your tears.
This one person, could in the blink of an eye,
Give away his life, give away his soul,
All for you.. without thinking twice.
Put your trust in this one,
This one's a keeper.

I put my mind and body into this feeling,
The feeling of discomfort,
Revealations, often sick and demented.
Coming clean couldn't be so hard now can it?
You could tell this person you're a murderer.
They love you, if they really do.
They'll over look, they won't judge,
They'll nod at your siliest of excuses.
They'll hold your hand, smile at you.
Let you know they are there, just for this time,
They are there, just forever.
Is this what love is meant to be?
Is the thrill of being yourself in the vicinity of someone, called love?
What is love?
If it is love,
Why these trust issues?
So much for expectations...

Raining darkness.

With a couple of chips on the table,
could you just stop running in my mind.
Maybe just for this moment,
I'll pick my life up,
Like a head start, a few steps ahead of misery.
I see this edge, ready to take this fall.
Followed by my misery, I'm just a bit tired.
Losing my momentum, the clock ticks to my horror.
Losing my grip on reality.
I join my hands, I join my feet, Pull myself together.
A leap of faith, A leap of misery.
A leap away from misery.
Down the rivers of life.
Deep into the darkness where I found this fairy.
With every touch, Healed what I felt before.
Something I felt last night, after months we said goodbye.
No one else knows these lonely trains of thoughts.
I'm still driving in this darkness,
Riding on a dull white horse.
Followed by misery.

Listen to the sound of my breaking heart,
I remember that night,
The moon set upon my horizon,
Right there keeping watch,
As the dew left the flower petals.
The waves so high, soothing my worries.
I sat up all night,
Doing things like we know,
Trying so hard, making this one moment.
Memorable enough to pass it on.
That night when I promised you forever,
That night when I bluffed.
I lost my grip,
On reality.
On life.
Lost it to misery.

Lead you here.

I know that this is not my place to say,
And I know there is no in the crowd.
I never said thank you for that,
I thought there was no one to hear me through.
I never felt like this before,
The sleepless nights that bother me.
I leave all my fears ashore.
Speak to me, looking up I talk to the stars.
What would you think of me now?
So strong, so tough.
I had my tricks up my sleeve, No one to see.
May Angels lead you here.

I know that this is not one of my best days.
I still pick up this board, look up at me staring down.
'I got tricks up my sleeve, have a seat'.
I never gave up but I,
could really think, really feel this empty.
The worlds so silent, this long stretched lonely road.
Where does it lead me now?
I'd rather sit here all day,
Talk to the stars.
I'd rather sit here all day,
Pick my pieces, solve this puzzle.
May Angels lead you here.

Burning Pages ft Haroon Sultan.

I wrote a note today. I think it had your name, call it a letter. Wrote everything i believed was good in you. I believed. I witnessed. I folded it away. I kept it with me for a while. Read it aloud to myself when alone. Read it so many times, the page looks a century old. Theres a Watermark almost everywhere. I'm guessing those are my tears. Folding it for the last time. One last read. Check. One final look. Check. Grabbed for a match stick. Burned it down. Check. 

Was thinking to myself, why read about you? When i can't have or see you. Whenever i wish. Whenever i will. Can't talk or sit. With you. Someplace. Quite. Peaceful. Lovely. Why not?

Cuz everything in life has a drawback. You never get what you want. Well not usually, i bow to your friendship. I know deep down my heart, i'll never be over you. I'll never see you again. I can never have you. I. Hate. This. 

Things aren't usually the way you want them. If they are for you. I say make no mistake in living the moment. Bad times linger. Bad times leave marks. Whether a broken heart, or a broker hand, or a wound or a gash.

From infinite to the point where our pain starts, unbalanced and uncoached. 

Not prepared for the rough bumpy road. Yet life give you no seatbelts. Falling off is death. Holding on is hope. Cloaking your eyes and facing the facts is courage and sheer stupidity. Never works. Never will. Never has. A stupid note got me thinking, well i wont call ut stupid anymore, got me thinking how someonemight not have done anything great for you but yoy still owe them alot. Owe them moment of happiness in times of cry. You owe them sloppy smiles played, alone inside your room. Little do they know thats its their thought that shines our eyes. Like a thousand rubies? A note got me thinking how, someone could possible wish for a task manager in tge context of your heart. Or an Alt + F4 function maybe? For forgetting is hard, dehydrates your body. All that crying. Not good for your health. 

Lifes bad right now, well no one asked. Who cares, I share my word with no one anyways.

Dont. Let. Good. Times. Go. Away. ... Think twice before you do something regarding your pumping organ. Hurts and sucks.

Verse [Haroon]

But as I just stand there with the fire in my eyes,

That note I spent my whole life and existence writing,

It burned away so easily,

Is your love for me just as easy and frightening?

You say what I say when I'm lost or angry,

Shut up and go away, 

I dont need you in my life.

But these words now hold no sway,

I've evolved past these petty quarrels,

I just want that feeling once again.

That feeling that you get when the worlds tired of you sad,

Throws away the lock and key, opens the gates to Heaven,

As I wait here with this pen, 

My jail, My freedom,

I could find ways to forgive you,

But I just fail to see them.

You left me tied to this boat,

Now its sinking, need your help,

My life raft has been punctured,

With the sounds of your yell,

Still pounds on my door, 

But no longer scares me, I'm cold, I'm alone,

As I sit here in this chair,

Your note still burns and burns.

Together.

The soul less nights that just went by,
I felt it, thump by thump.
Your heartbeat miles away,
The sweetest lullaby.
All I want say,
I cannot say.
You're so faraway.
Meet me up at this slow song,
We'll catch up in our embrace.
We'll sway until we have nothing left to say.
Can't say I was hurting inside,
But one of these days, You'll see.
Getting out of the box you'll feel this extreme,
The lack of time, lack of confidence.
Just hear me tonight,
I have so much to say,
Opening all of those sealed envelopes,
Dated from that day until today.
A page worth catching up with my day,
My day from that day till today.
I'll sit silently, read em one by one.
Sit by the fire, while I count the stars in your eyes.
Watching your brows furrow up,
Shining your tears at the corner of your eyes.
But not tonight, next to me, you sniff silently.
A tear of happiness to every beautiful confession,
At the end of all my days.
You feel horrible for the times you weren't with me,
Not like this, The way I wipe your tears away now.
You regret the distance, you regret the way it turned out.
But we're here, we're here together.
Paper by paper, we drop em in this circle of fire,
Each day we burn, edging closer and closer.
Closer and closer to this new start.
By the end of this day when I confess,
Thats a first.
I take this oath today, Like a fresh start.
We will walk the same path,
No more regret, No looking back.
Just take my hand, lets walk away,
Together.

This Time.

Observing each move you make,
Each muscle, every step you take.
Ready to fall down on my knees.
Sitting by the river that'll tomorrow freeze.
I held your hand and dragged you along,
A tired mind, relates to this song.
Tired of locking around, searching for the key.
The key to your heart, the beauty in the these eyes I see.
The preciousness of your word.
Uttered perfectly, the smiles it ignites when heard.
I could hear it right now, you say 'love'.
This boy whose 5 would rather say 'wuv'.
A little angel walking along this road, Independent.
Smiles so brightly, those dimples, so adorable, nature's dent.
This time it rhymes,
When it rings my bells, this chimes.
The time you clutch my hand,
Redeeming my sense of giving, I take this stand.
The next time you fall,
I'm coming with you through it all.
Together.
This time we're together.
Crossing the roads of destiny,
Facing all the scrutiny.
When you turn to your left,
The same angel right there, the one that never left.
Reminds me of the day you related to that song,
We stuck together, We paved our way, We proved them wrong.
We moved along,
We moved along...